He rushed towards me, his steps quick and desperate, and without a word, he immediately clasped my small hand in his. A soft, radiant light suddenly enveloped our joined hands, a warm, glowing magic that pulsed gently like a heartbeat. It wrapped around our skin like golden threads, weaving a sensation of safety and comfort I had not felt in a long time.
"You're okay… thank goodness," he breathed, his voice trembling ever so slightly. As the glow slowly faded, I heard the quiet sigh of relief that slipped from his lips. Then, he lifted his gaze to mine, straight into my eyes. His expression was full of concern, yet something deeper shimmered beneath it.
"Were you scared?' he asked.
My heart skipped a beat. No one… no one had ever asked me that before.
I shook my head, a bright smile forming on my face despite the heaviness still lingering in my heart.
"No, I wasn't. I knew papa would be there to save me," I replied cheerfully, my voice full of innocence.
He smiled, barely, but it was there. A soft quiet smile that made my heart feel strange. It reminded me of the one he gave to the girl in my nightmare. That nightmare… I didn't know how to feel about it. Everything was tangled, confusing emotions swirling in a way I couldn't make sense of.
"Someone beat me to it," he added, his small smile lingering,
"Beat you to it?" I echoed.
"Yes. One of the knights, Theo"
At that moment, the door creaked open. Standing in the doorway was a tall figure dressed in a black knight's uniform. Theo entered the room with a commanding presence, his expression unreadable as always. He stood tall, disciplined, his hand resting across his chest as he formally bows.
"Greetings, your highness," he said, his voice soft and calm.
I blinked, then offered him a small, grateful smile. "Theo, thank you. I cannot express how truly thankful I am to you," I said with all the sincerity I could gather.
"It is my duty to protect the royal family," he replied without hesitation. "As an imperial knight, I will uphold that duty with everything I have."
He raised his head slightly, allowed our eyes to meet. His dark blue eyes held a firm resolve, but there was something else, something buried behind that steady gaze. I could not quite place it.
I opened my mouth to speak, but the words were lost. My mind was still tangled in the nightmare that haunted me earlier with different death this time, a longer and crueler one. The vividness of its still clung to my thoughts like shadows that wouldn't let go.
The emperor must have noticed the change in my expression, because be reached out and gently placed his hand over mine. His touch was soft, warm, and comforting.
"Do you want us to leave?" he asked, his voice gentle, almost tender.
I turned my gaze towards the window. The sky outside was dark, painted with midnight hues. I hadn't even realized how late it was. Had they all stayed awake just for me?
Turning back to him, I nodded. "Yes, papa. Everyone needs to rest too."
A smile lit my face as I said it, but the emperor simply looked at me, long and deeply, as though searching for something beyond my words. Then he stood, his expression shifting the moment he turned toward the others in the room.
"You may all go. Get some rest," he commanded, his voice suddenly firm, carrying the weight of authority.
The knights and attendants bowed silently, beginning to file out of the room one by one. Theo was the last to leave. He paused at the door, glancing back at me for just a moment longer than the others. Our eyes met again, and then he turned and disappeared into the hallway. The guards outside gently closed the door behind him, and the room feel into a soft, still silence.
The emperor turned to face me slowly, the weight of something heavy behind his crystal eyes. With deliberate gentleness, he sat on the edge of my bed, his tall figure cloaked in shadows softened only by the moonlight pouring in from the windows.
"Lyunette…" he said, voice low and tender. "I'm going to tell you the truth now."
My heart skipped. The truth? which one?
My thoughts scattered, reaching for every unanswered question I had buried deep in my chest. There were so many things I had wanted to ask, things I had tried to forget because no one ever dared to answer them. And yet now, hearing those words from him—the truth— it made my breath catch in my throat.
He paused, studying her face as though waiting for my permission. When I gave a small nodded. He continued.
"Through the letters… your personal maids informed me that you often asked about where your we are."
My eyes widened slightly in embarrassment.
What?! Amy never told me about this. How much did she wrote on those letters about me?!
"I remembered everything what it was written on those letters…" he softly said. "Because it was all about you." he added quietly.
Those words struck me like cold water. My throat tightened, my small fingers curling into small fists on my lap. I did not want to hear this anymore. Not if it was going to turn into another excuse, not if it would all crumble into more lies.
I looked down at my hands, trembling. A strange kind of emptiness opened up inside me. his words made me sick, not from anger, but from sadness.
I cannot afford getting fooled by sweet lies again.
"I was at war," he continued, his voice cracking slightly. "Your brother, he was the one in charge of the empire during that time. He was still so young, so it was hard for him to lead the empire himself. The war lasted nearly four years."
I did not move. My lips pressed into a tight line. Four years, that was a long period of time…
"When you were born," the emperor went on, "I was preparing for the first invasion. I could not…. I could not be there to hold you, to watch you take your first steps or hear your first words. I was buried in maps, blood, and strategy."
His voice had grown heavier now. not with authority, but with regret.
"I didn't want to tell you these, because I want you to just enjoy being a child." He exhaled. "And I know, no amount of explanation will validate my absence as your father. I neglected you, and for that, Lyunette… I am truly sorry."
Silence fell between us like snow, soft, cold and suffocating.
I wanted to say something, anything. But my voice stayed caught in my throat. The pain I had kept hidden behind bright smiles before and stubborn pride threatened to spill over.
I had always imagined what it would feel like to hear those words from him, to be seen, and to be acknowledged. I thought it would make me happy, maybe even fix the aching void inside my chest. But instead, it made me feel hollow, unsure of what to do with the apology I had waited for so long to receive.
"I… I never hated you." I finally said in a small voice. "I was just upset."
The emperor closed his eyes and nodded slowly. "I know."
And for a moment, he said nothing else. He did not try to justify or explain. He simply sat beside me, silent and still, as If trying to shoulder even a fraction of the years we had lost.
Suddenly, I felt the rough yet strangely gentle touch of his hand against my cheek, guiding me to look up at him, his palm was calloused, marked by the life of a warrior and emperor but his touch… it was tender. My breath caught.
He was smiling.
A real, proper smile, one I had never seen before. It was not the small smile. this smile was filled with something raw. His eyes shimmered beneath the moonlight, reflecting so many emotions all at once, softness, sorrow, guilt. For the first time in my life, I could read him clearly, as if he had become an open book written just for me.
My eyes widened, the lump in my throat rising higher.
"And now," he whispered, "I've failed you again. I failed to protect my daughter…"
My heart pounded wildly in my chest, the rhythm so frantic I thought it might break. My lips trembled, and my vision blurred as tears, ones I had buried so far inside for so long, finally began to surface. It was as if those words had unlatched something inside me. something old, and aching.
"You were so scared.... weren't you, my daughter?" he asked softly.
I did not answer, not with words. Instead, he opened his arms, and without hesitation, I collapsed into them. His embrace enveloped me in warmth, solid and real. My small hands gripped the back of his coat tightly, fingered curling into the fabric as the dam broke.
"Papa… it was… scary!" I cried out, the words pouring from me in gasps
He gently placed his large hand behind my head, pressing me closer into his shoulder, letting me cry as much as I needed to. I clung to him like I would vanish if I let go. Like everything I'd been carrying, fear, the loneliness, the years of silence, would swallow me whole if I didn't hold on.
"it's so lonely… and scary…" I sobbed, trembling in his arms. "It's always been lonely…"
And I wasn't just crying because of the kidnapping. Not only because of the dark room or the threat of death. I was crying for everything. For the questions never answered, for the dreams that showed a father despise me, and for abandonment.
"I know… I know, my daughter," he murmured. His voice breaking. "Papa is here now. I'm here."
He held me tighter, and I felt his lips press against the top of my head. His other hand gently stroked my hair, his finger running through the strands with the kind of tenderness that should have been there from the beginning.
"Please… Papa," I choked out between sobs, "Don't change. Don't… don't hate me. I am begging you."
He stilled for a moment, then slowly leaned back just enough to look into my tear-stained face. His eyes, already red at the edges, locked with mine, full of something sacred and wounded.
"Hate you?" he whispered, as if the very idea hurt him. "Never. Not in a thousand lifetimes, Lyunette."
He cradled my cheek once more, brushing a tear away with his thumb. "Even if I was distant… even if I failed you more times than I can count, you were never unloved. You are my daughter. My heart, and if you let me… I will spend every day from now on proving that to you."