I woke up, unable to register exactly what the plan is today, the men said that today will be first stage of the plan, and Nkosi said that Senzo can take part in all of this as long as he doesn't involve my younger brothers, and he needs to learn to respect them as they are older than him, Mphendulo has been kinda on my neck, he's been too flirty, he's annoying me. Anyway today was the time we strategize everything
Nkosi:"listen and listen good Senzo, we need to teach you and your sister a couple of things, like using a gun, being able to stab, being able to dodge a stab etc"
Senzo just stared at them silently, Senzo does not want to be part of this I can tell, he just wants to protect me since he doesn't trust these men, and I don't blame him
Nkosi :"ok?"
Senzo kept quiet for a few seconds, then nodded his head, I feel like this is gonna take a turn
We've been practicing and practicing and practicing, this gun shit is hard, how the heaven do people do this on an everyday lifestyle, oh my word, these guns are heavy first of all, second of all they are loud as hell,
Nkosi:"they, still need more training"
I over hear Nkosi tell one of his brothers
Nkosi:"they are too weak, they can beraly shoot a dummy"
Nigga is talking about me in my presence
Me:"listen here nigga, I'm trying ok, in fact we both are, not all of us are 'wanna be gangsters' , so if you feel like we are slow learners then leave us alone, we'll figure this shoot shit on our own"
And with that I leave and Senzo follows, he's been offly quiet, it's so unlike him, something is wrong and I'm not taking 'nothing' as an answer. When we get in our room, I close my door and get straight to business
Me :"what's wrong? And don't you fool me boy, don't you say nothing!"
Senzo :"why are we using guns? What type of revenge is this? Will there be blood? Why do trust these people, we beraly know them?!!"
He was now shouting and bombarding me with too many questions, I, didn't even know where to start, because even I don't know the answers to the questions he just asked. I pull him into my arms and I hug him, coz in a way that's all I can do right now
Me:"I can't explain to you, nor do I have all the answers to your questions but just know everything I'm doing, I'm doing either to protect you or protect myself, in this case I'm protecting myself. I don't know what im doing, I've never used a gun, I don't even know how it works but I'm willing to learn, because no girl deserves to go through what i went through, so please just bare with me ok. And let loose, stop frowning all the time, smile, be normal, nothing will happen to you, not while I'm still alive ok? "
I take out I whole speech on him and actually mean it and he nods and hugs me tightly. One thing I noticed about Senzo is that he can be the one thats always acting tough but he's actually really soft and he needs his sister by his side