She was not Gu Yuan.He was the one who could be forgiven, accepted, and gently embraced.He had his own world, his brother and sister, his parents loved him, and even his "you are the nest".
But she is not a nest, she is a hunter, a trapped animal, a madman who walks on the edge of the knife without frowning.
She asked herself with cold eyes: Qi Huaizhi, do you really think you deserve that table?What are you carrying with you - it's the past, it's revenge, it's control, it's a bureau that can be taken off at any time.
Gu Yuan is not afraid, he is not afraid of anything.
But she is afraid.
Afraid that this bit of twisted gentleness on her part would make that supposedly proud and domineering young master of the mixed road really become one of her dogs.
She was afraid that she loved him.
She was afraid that she would, one day, cry out at that dinner table.Not out of sadness, but out of wanting it so badly, when she knew she couldn't.
So then, she left.
No argument, no goodbye, not even an excuse.
She put that lemon tart in the fridge, turned to make one last phone call and finish arranging the route she was going to take to leave.
Then an hour before dawn, she got in her car and left the city and Gu Yuan.
That morning was like all ordinary mornings, the sky was light blue, the streets were swept clean, and there wasn't even any wind.
When Gu Yuan woke up, she was long gone.
There was no one there when he opened the door to her room.
He found the lemon tart in the refrigerator, untouched, even the packaging still intact.
He sat on the cold kitchen floor and stared at the lemon tart for a long time.
He knew she couldn't eat anything too sweet.
He knew she wouldn't take anything she couldn't take with her.
He also knew that she must have hesitated for a long time before she left.
So she didn't take the lemon tart with her.
She just, left him whole, where he was.
The girl was met later.
At the beginning of spring, when the night breeze was no longer salty, Gu Yuan leaned against the door of the bar and smoked a cigarette, his black clothes loose, the corners of his eyes red as if he had just crawled out of a nightmare.He hadn't noticed her - the girl who walked out of the crowd.
The resemblance was too much.
Those eyes, the curve of that smile as she looked up, the line of her neck that showed when she looked down, even the sense of rhythm in her walk was so familiar.Like Qi Huaizhi, like those moments in his dreams that he couldn't catch, but had been replayed countless times.
Gu Yuan's heart clicked, as if a bullet jammed in an old gun's chamber suddenly spun, and his rusty emotions gnawed at him.
"Do you have a light?"The girl asked him, her voice soft and clear.
He was stunned for a second, slowly handing the lighter over, his fingertips brushing against hers, warm and delicate and callous-free.She wasn't Qi Huaizhi - Qi Huaizhi had scars on her hands, thin calluses, the marks of a battle fought out.
She wasn't like that.
She looked like everything, except that she was a normal person.
She would say thank you, her hands wouldn't shake when she smoked; she would add a sentence "less ice" when ordering, and when Gu Yuan asked her "are you afraid of me", she smiled frankly and said: "you look quite pitiful, why are you afraid?"
She wouldn't turn her face in his arms, she wouldn't grab him by the neck and ask with a smile, "Are you a cheap bastard?"
She wouldn't have stared at his bloody mouth and laughed, nor would she have slowly wiped the blood from his face with her fingers painted with red nail polish.
She had no shadows, no malice, and was not crazy.
She would even say when Gu Yuan frowned, "Why don't we change to a quieter place?"
It was so not Qi Huai Zhi.
Gentle, considerate, sensible.
But it was also this gentleness that was like an invisible hand, viciously strangling Gu Yuan's throat.It made him more and more suffocated and irritated.He began to unconsciously find fault.He asked her many questions, all of which he knew the answers to.
"How many boyfriends have you had?"
"What kind of people do you like?"
"What do you do when you meet a violent person?"
She always answered patiently and without condescension.
She wouldn't kill him or love him madly.She doesn't say, "I want you to be mine forever," or call at 3:00 in the morning and say, "I miss you, open the window."
She's not possessive.
She loves with boundaries, limits, and escape routes.
That night they sat by the river for a long time, the wind blowing her hair around, she smoothed it out and smiled at him."You always think I look like that girl you used to like, don't you?"
Gu Yuan was stunned.