-Adrian-
The sun is rising, although I had pulled the drapes to keep the light out. A thin line of sunshine peeks through the gap, harsh and unwelcome. I've never hated mornings so fucking much in my life. Now I have to leave my little wolf. It's the last time I will ever see her.
I remember the conversation we had before she fell asleep, each word now a knife twisting in my gut.
"Tell me your name, show me your face. Please," she whispered, her voice small and vulnerable.
I didn't answer her, only kissed her deeply, full of regret and longing, and pulled her tighter against me. My tongue swept against hers, trying to memorize her taste—sweet and addictive like a drug I never knew I needed until now. The taste of her will haunt me for years to come.
"Go to sleep, little wolf," I murmured against her hair, my voice rougher than intended.
She was quiet for a moment. "You won't be here when I wake up, will you?"
I swallowed down the strange emotions she stirred within me, a darkness spreading through my chest. "No, I won't. It's for the best, little wolf."
She snuggled into my chest, and I felt her lips tremble against my skin. Then I felt warm, wet drops on my skin. My heart tightened painfully, a vise crushing my ribs. I fucking hate that my little wolf is crying. But I know this is what's best for her. I would rather her heart break a little now and heal quickly than be shattered later when I find my fated mate.
You don't know that will happen, Nox growls, angry with me.
It always happens, I reply firmly. I can't risk hurting her worse later.
Bullshit, Nox snarls. You're just fucking scared of how she makes you feel.
I ignore him and hold her while she quietly cries herself to sleep. Nox whimpers the entire time, making my chest ache even more, a hollow pain that spreads with each breath.
Now, this morning, I gently take her blindfold off again. I admire every inch of her beautiful sleeping form. Her dark lashes fan against her cheeks, her full lips slightly parted. The sheet has slipped down, revealing the curve of her breast, and I have to clench my fists to keep from touching her. Just like her, my heart is breaking a little to go our separate ways. No, not a little—it feels like something vital is being ripped from me.
This is wrong, Nox protests. She's ours.
She can't be, I argue, though the words feel hollow even to me.
I glance at the time and realize the stuff I ordered for her should be waiting in the hallway. I gently untangle myself from her and gather the boxes from the hall. A pair of soft leggings, a tank top, and a navy cashmere cardigan that'll make her eyes pop are in the bigger box. But what I'm looking for is the small box. I take the moonstone necklace out and carefully clip it around her neck.
She is absolutely fucking stunning lying there in nothing but my gift. My eyes slide over her naked breasts, and I bite back a groan. The desire to take one of her nipples in my mouth is almost too strong to resist. My cock hardens painfully as I remember how she tastes, how she arches when I suck just hard enough, the little gasping moans she makes when I use my teeth. I remember how wet she gets when I tell her exactly what I want to do to her, how she trembles when I push inside her.
Stay, Nox urges. Wake her up. Tell her who you are.
I can't, I respond, though everything in me wants to.
I reach out, unable to help myself, and brush my thumb across her lower lip. She sighs in her sleep, turning toward my touch, and I jerk my hand back like I've been burned. My cock throbs, remembering those lips wrapped around me, her tongue swirling over the head while she looked up at me with those big eyes. The memory is both pleasure and torture.
Fucking coward, Nox accuses, his voice laced with contempt.
I know it's time to go now. I struggle with my final words to her, finally putting pen to paper:
Little Wolf,
I wish fate had turned out differently...that I was different. Don't ever let anyone not appreciate every amazing part of you. We may be parting, but you will always be part of me.
-A-
I leave the letter on top of her second gift that contains the outfit I picked out for her to be comfortable on her drive home. I walk to the door and stare at her one last time, memorizing every curve, every freckle, the peaceful expression on her face. The marks I left on her neck and inner thighs. The slight redness between her legs from where my stubble rubbed her raw. Each detail burns into my memory, a beautiful agony I'll carry forever.
"Goodbye, little wolf," I whisper, my voice breaking slightly, the words tasting like ash.
This is a fucking mistake, Nox growls as I force myself to turn away.
I creep out of the room, closing the door with a soft click that feels far too final, like the sound of a coffin lid closing.
You're going to regret this, my wolf continues. She's special.
That's exactly why I have to let her go, I respond, my chest tight with an unfamiliar ache that threatens to consume me.
No, that's exactly why you should fucking stay, he counters. When have you ever felt this way about anyone? When has your cock ever gotten hard just from watching someone sleep?
I ignore him and mind-link Asher and Jax: Have everyone ready to go and meet in the lobby within the hour.
On it, Jax replies, his voice thick with sleep.
I know I should let my guys sleep in longer, but I really want to get out of the hotel and on the road before my little wolf wakes up. I don't think I can tear myself away from her for a third time. The pull to return to her room is already a physical pain, a tether I'm struggling to break.
I get to my suite, the one I paid for but didn't use except to take a shower and change clothes. I grab my stuff and head down to the lobby, itching to go back to my little wolf despite my decision to leave. As the guys start to arrive, I pretend I'm buried deep in pack emails so I can avoid any of their questions about where I spent the previous two nights. Asher and Killian tried to grill me yesterday, but I avoided telling them anything and changed the subject.
"You look like shit," Asher says, dropping into the chair across from me. "Rough night?"
"Just busy," I reply curtly, not looking up from my phone, afraid my eyes will betray the storm raging inside me.
"Busy doing what?" he presses. "Or should I say who?"
I shoot him a warning glare. "Drop it." My voice holds a dangerous edge that would make most wolves cower.
He holds his hands up in surrender but doesn't hide his knowing smirk. "Whatever you say, Alpha. But whoever she is, she must be something special. I've never seen you this wrecked over a woman."
I clench my jaw but don't respond. He has no idea how right he is. The emptiness spreading through me feels bottomless, a void I don't know how to fill.
"You know," he continues, his voice dropping so only I can hear, "not everything has to be so black and white. Maybe this fated mate bullshit isn't all it's cracked up to be."
"I said drop it," I growl, my eyes flashing, a warning no one with sense would ignore.
He shrugs. "Your call. But if you're this torn up about leaving her, maybe that means something."
I watch Jax get everyone checked out and the bus pull up front. Everyone heads out and gets on, finding their seats. I quickly sit in the front, away from everyone, ignoring the curious glances from my men. The weight of their stares only adds to the heaviness in my chest.
You could still go back, Nox suggests as the door closes and the bus lurches forward. It's not too late.
I take one last glance at the hotel and say another silent goodbye to my little wolf. The building recedes in the distance, taking with it something I never knew I needed until now.
No, I tell Nox firmly. I can't.
You mean you won't, he corrects bitterly. You're choosing to walk away from the best fuck of your life.
But as the hotel disappears from view, I can't shake the feeling that I'm leaving something vital behind. Something I'll never find again. The moonstone necklace I placed around her neck was meant to be a reminder of me, but I realize now it was unnecessary. I don't need a physical token to remember her by—she's branded onto my soul, a mark that will never fade.
You're making the biggest fucking mistake of your life, Nox says quietly.
And for the first time since I made my decision to leave, I'm afraid he might be right. The certainty I've clung to crumbles, leaving only doubt and a cold, empty space where something warm once flickered to life.