Choosing to fight, I picked up a knife. The knife was trembling in my hand, cold sweat running down my spine.
The strange window now displayed:
[You have 10 minutes to either. "Kill" or "Die"]
My head froze. All my thoughts were jumbled, as if my life was flashing before my eyes.
"Please" "no" "what if—" "whose fault is it" "is it mine?" Among the vast amount of thoughts in my head, only one was clearer than the others.
"I DON'T WANT TO DIE."
Gripping the slippery handle of the knife with all the courage I could muster, I opened the door.
The goblin paused for a moment, then kept eating the woman's corpse. Her body was a mess—her organs were chewed out or half-bitten, her lips ripped, eyes clawed out.
And for the hundredth time in 10 minutes, I ask myself:
"Why did I choose to fight?"
The goblin was aware of me. He didn't care if I ran. Nor did he care if I were going to charge at him or not.
Clearly, it was clear that I was an insignificant bug in his eyes. Like always.
The world around me froze for a moment as my brain brought up the multiple "experiences" I have had in the past.
The day when my father struck me with a belt hard enough for me to break a rib.
The day when my teacher told me to start looking for a stable career since I wouldn't make it as an artist.
The day when my mother died due to overworking herself.
The day when I accidentally nicked my finger.
During all those inconvenient moments, I felt useless, as if my life was out of my control.
And now… when it mattered the most, I chose to fight.
Because I believe in miracles.
Finally giving myself the courage I need, I rushed at the goblin. He didn't move, nor did he look back at me.
I knew it. I knew the knife would sink deep into his flesh. Even from afar, I could tell his body structure and skin were similar to a monkey's.
"GO TO HELL!" I yelled as I brought down the knife with all my might into the goblin's head.
I saw it. Time slowed down and I saw my knife close the gap between the edge and the goblin's head.
I couldn't help but throw a smile as I brought down the knife. My hand went down and blood spattered the wall.
But… the goblin was fine…
Why is that? What happened? I swear I brought down the knife on his head…
I tried to grip the knife once again, only to not feel anything. As I looked down at my hand… I saw my wrists and forearm bones. Only then did I remember:
Monkeys never hunt alone.
Looking to my right, I saw my hands impaled on the wall with an arrow.
"Huh..?"
I knew those were my hands, but I couldn't believe it. I refused to believe it.
No, it's just a minor inconvenience.
No no no no no
I'm fine I'm fine I'm fine I'm fine.
I'll be okay. I'm clean. I'm not dirty anymore.
I'm powerful. I have the law on my side…
For a moment, I was brought to the past once again. I saw my dad standing on a chair with a rope around his neck and my report card in his hand…
…please Dad, I'm not broken. I promise I can study…
The world spun around me as my body fell to the ground. The ground was warm, even though I was on the hard floor.
Looking to my left, I saw a figure of a goblin holding a bow in the corridor.
The goblin had a smile on his face, … the smile fel strangly familiar like the one my father always had when he had his belt in his hand.
I felt sleepy so dizzy as if I was in my mothers hands once again. I closed my eyes and focused on my mothers touch.
"Shhh… its okay even go to sleep now you have been tired all day haven't you?"
Her hands were warm, I was able to feel the dollar band aid on her hands as she caressed my cheek.
"Nobody is coming to save you. Get up."
I heard a distant voice call out to me. But I was tired… too tired to get up just 5 more minutes… I dont wanna go to school please no mom I wanna stay with you all day mom, please I haven't spent a single day with you in 11 months…
"Your hands… one nasty injury you get there…. Young man."
The voice was drawing closer, I could feel it… my moms hands growing colder as the man drew closer… almost like dad was home again…
I hugged my moms feet.
"Mom, please dont go…" I could only choke out.
"I know you said life is filled with minor inconveniences and that ill get over it… but-"
My eyes were forcefully opened and I felt my wrists burning, almost like an insect crawled into my wound and ate its way down to my brain in mt arms I could feel it all.
"You'll be alright kid, now that im here." The man spoke once again with his hands forcing my eyelids open. The figure of the man… no its a woman… no its not what is it then?