"And that's how the princess and prince lived happily afterward."
Diana closed the fairytale book. Erin was sitting beside her, listening to the story pleasantly. She looked up at her with a curious expression.
"What happened?" Diana asked her; she gave her a light kiss on the cheeks.
"Ummm" Erin took a moment and then replied, "Diana, do you really think love like this exists?" She looked up at, with curious eyes, waiting for a response that would satisfy her innocence.
A sweet question from a 14-year-old kid who knows nothing about the outside world. Not to add how her parents' relationship ended up.
"Maybe?" She spoke.
"I'm not a kid now, Dia." Erin looked at her, pouting. "I don't think there is happy ever after."
Diana let out a gentle sigh amused by her maturity. Kids this day were way more mature, "How about I tell you another story?" She asked her hoping to divert her attention.
Her eyes lit up nodding vigorously. Diana started another story.
"Once there was Duke; he was bored with the outside world and wanted some interesting thing in his life. So, he wondered in order to find fun."
"As he wandered through the northern hills, the soft melody of singing caught his attention. He followed the sound, his footsteps quiet on the snow-covered ground. Suddenly, he stumbled upon a hidden spring, its waters flowing gently despite the freezing temperatures. And there, in the midst of winter's chill, a lady danced with ethereal grace."
"Her beauty was otherworldly, untouched by the harsh surroundings. Long silver hair cascaded down her back, reaching all the way to her feet, shimmering like the moon. Her eyes, a piercing shade of silver, seemed almost supernatural, as if she were a creature of myth and legend, untethered from the mortal world."
"Duke was bewildered by someone this beautiful; he decided to catch that spirit in a cage so that she will never leave him. He befriended her to get a chance. Soon he fell in love with her; her free spirit was too great that the idea of trapping her in a cage was repulsive enough to puke out."
"They both started to love each other. Duke's ideal was twisted, but he never attempted to do it. No matter what he opened up to her, she too accepted this side of him. Their love was twisted, cunning, and selfish. In the end they never got their happy ending."
"This is really cursed." Erin shriveled while hearing it.
"So, my lady, do you think this is a good love story?" Diana asked her.
"Ummm... Definitely not." Erin replied, "I'm worried about how she can love him when he nearly tried to lock her up."
"Rather than questioning the choices of others, let's focus on the truth that perfect love is an ideal we can't achieve. We're mortal, flawed, and can't create something divine. Yet, when we do find that special someone, surrendering our hearts to them can be a profound and meaningful decision."
"But..."
"Shhh...." Suddenly Diana snuggled her to sleep: "Let's talk later; sleep for today."
Erin closed her eyes, wondering whether Diana was right or not.
**
"W-what?" I was taken aback by that statement; words were trapped in my vocal. Logically, the answer should've come immediately, but it was tough to answer.
Did I love him?
I'm not sure; past me did love him, but what about present me?
Can I really say I like him when I know nothing about him?
If I have no feelings, then what's with my body reacting like I'm in love?
And what the heck am I doing now?
Thinking about it, do those memories even matter?
That person smirked, "Do you pity him?"
Pity...empathy...
I'm not a person to have those feelings. But when it comes to him, I think... maybe it's true?
Maybe I pitied him and let him stay with me; in the end, he was the one with more to lose.
"Rina~" We both got startled by his intrusion. He had tied his hair in a bun, barging through the door with a smile. "Did I make you wait long?" he affectionately asked.
Was it pity.....
Darcy gave me a stare indicating to stop this discussion. Cian hugged me like always, snuggling his head in my shoulders. I don't know what I felt at that time... Did I like it, or was it just pity...?
It was difficult to distinguish between these feelings; my head was throbbing wildly.
**
"Ah."
I woke up in the middle of the night. Glancing at the other side, he wasn't there. It was strange; Cian never left my side even during the night. Where did he leave?
My head was throbbing wildly; questions from the noon still haunted me. My feelings for him were complex. It's difficult to distinguish; if Diana were alive, she would've helped me by now.
Wrapped in a thick, enveloping robe, I ventured out into the night, a solitary candle casting flickering shadows on the walls. The dukedom, once bustling with activity, now lay quiet and still, its staff significantly reduced. The emptiness of the corridors seemed to echo through the darkness as I wandered, my footsteps guided by an unspoken desire to find him.
Suddenly, I heard some strange sound. It must be Cian. I hurriedly walked in that direction.
"Cian"
I called for him. He sat alone on the study room's balcony, wine glass in hand, his eyes glassy and unfocused. The empty space seemed to amplify his intoxication, and when I called out to him, a sloppy grin spread across his face.
From his looks, it felt like he was crying. His face was flushed, with tears streaming down his cheeks. His eyes were red-rimmed and bleary, his expression contorted in a mix of sadness and despair.
I slowly approached him; it was cold. In this cold weather he was out here in just a thin shirt... drinking rapidly in sorrow.
"D-did you m-miss me?" He asked with a fake smile.
My heart was aching from seeing him in this state. The person who always joked, flirted, and did all kinds of heinous compliments was sitting here in this state. Was it pity.....
I wrapped my robe around him; he was quietly staring at me.
"Why are you here?" I asked him with a fake smile. Cian smelled my robe and hugged himself.
"Gazing in your eyes"
The night sky was shiny, with lots of small dots like stars. Under the moon rays he looked like a fallen angel grieving. Even in this state he was trying to compliment me.
I rubbed his hair. Seating myself beside him, I tilted my head and asked, "Did you hear our conversation?"
It was pressing me how he appeared just at that time, and now seeing him like this, it was clear he had heard everything.
As expected, he nodded. Tears flowed down his soft cheeks. He gulped another jar of wine. "I know Rina doesn't love me back."
It was impossible for him to not find out. He might've been the closest person to me before I lost my memories.
"But," Cian softly entangled his fingers around my hand, "I like Rina."
Seeing him in this state made me forget he was once a possessive man. It felt this was his real side, not that obsessive, domineering side he shows me sometimes. Every word from him was shattering my heart.
"I love Rina even if she forgets herself." He confessed to me under the moonlight. This balcony was near to a wilted tree. I gritted my teeth.
He was talking the exact same things I wanted to hear badly. This childish brat....
Did I really pity this brat??
A cold wind started to breeze slowly. My heart was pounding fast; Cian was staring at me with his teary gaze. I touched his cheeks.
"For how many days did I plan to ignore you?" I grinned.
From the day I met him, I tried to avoid him. It was guilt; it was difficult to face him and act like nothing happened. But he, like a child, didn't stop; finally, it was time to stop ignoring and face the reality.
He looked at me in awe, surprised by my action.
Was it pity or love?
You had asked this, right? Now I can tell this without stuttering.
From the day I saw you, I had fallen for you. Not because you were my past lover; the only reason was because it's you, your existence enough drew me towards you. I had fallen for you all over again, your highness; I can see it clearly now.
"I-"
//////////