"It's been a long time,I have been myself" Deepak lays on his bed "I couldn't remember the last time I felt alive." He watches his childhood photo and makes a little smile. "I think it's in my early childhood. I would do what I wish to,talk what I want. I used to be very enthusiastic. I am very clever though. But,it didn't continued too long. My parents cut off my wings. I have been not allowed to make jokes at relatives house. Actually, I rarely go to any relative house. I am not allowed to play out.They said I would get hurt if I played. Aren't anyone in the world wouldn't get hurt. If I ever want to go out and play, they would throw a slip test on and says "You can go after submitting the test" However, I submit the test faster I could but in vain. The game would already start, I couldn't interrupt in the middle. I requested many times. Finally ,they gave me an hour a day to play,with some exceptions. They are
1). I should go to play after the sunset( after 5pm)
2). I should come home before it becomes dark ( before 6pm)
3) I shouldn't get any injury even by mistake.
The rules aren't fair. Because most of my friends or neighbour play after 6pm or before 4pm ( in summer). Sometimes by luck I would get chance to play. But One day I got injured my head while playing, from that day no one ever played with me.My parents made a big argument with neighbour for my injury. Thus, everyone started keeping me away. They used to tease me in school.One day they rounded me up and beaten me to take revenge. Ofcourse the injuries couldn't be seen by my parents as they were made insideand I couldn't stop because I deserve it . From then I never went out. "Tears comes out from his eyes."I slowly become depressed. I hardly attend any party. I feel discomfort at parties. Neither I play games with friends at party nor make some fun at party. My parents always wanted me to talk in polite manner. Not to make jokes with them, not tell they are wrong. I gradually lost most of the postive emotions( happines,love, relationship,)but increased lot of negative emotions(fear,anxiety, depression). The worse thing is my parents even not used allow me to do any work. But, now they are asking me to go out and play. To communicate with people. They tell me that I am useless and lazy. They want me to change my attitude. How can I change all of sudden. I too want to change my life but how can I ?. " Deepak wipes his tears and makes a little smile. "I believe god always gives a second chance. In my life Chaitanya is my second chance. He always see me in different perspective from other. He encouraged me.He trusted me. Finally he changed me ,what I used to be. He is my postive energy.". Deepak gives heart warming smile.