Thunderous applause...Even some of our disciples stood up and clapped.
I turned to Yue. "What is happening?"
She shrugged. "Honestly? That was kinda fire." But Elder Doucheface was livid.
"Poucheface! You fool! You've ruined our reputation!"
"You ruined my dreams," Poucheface whispered, spinning one last time and bowing...
The announcer cleared his throat. "Uh… unexpected turn, but we respect self-expression. Long Fei Jian, would your sect care to respond?"
I nodded. "Yue. It's your turn." Yue cracked her knuckles, took the mic, and stepped forward.
A haunting guqin string played in the background... Then she opened her mouth— Yue's savage verse burns egos, the Demon King unveils his secret instrument, and Spirit Flow Poucheface might become a cult legend...yeah! This is what came to my mind.. But what if Yue's Verse Was So Savage, the Sky Needed Therapy..? Another stupid thought of mine..
Well...Yue stepped up to the center of the stage with a calm, casual smile. She didn't posture. She didn't glow with spiritual light.
She just looked bored. "Play something moody," she said.
The Demon King snapped his fingers. And, out of nowhere, a disciple with a flute, another with a guqin, and...gods help us...a third with a spiritual beatbox orb stepped forward and formed a battle formation.
Then, the music began...Low, eerie, dramatic. Yue raised the mic.
And then she unleashed:
Yue's Verse:
"You talk like you're gods, like your words are fate,
But the only thing divine is how late you cultivate.
Your rhymes are sloppy, your flows are fake,
And that 'Heavenly Voice'? Sounds like a dying snake.
You dissed our Master? Now that's bold,
Coming from disciples bought with spirit gold...
You call that beauty yours? Don't get me started—
She left you like your talent—completely departed."
Crowd: "OOOOOOOOHHHH!" One of the Heavenly Sect disciples legit fainted. A spirit eagle overhead crashed mid-flight. Even the announcer had to take a deep breath.
I leaned over to the Demon King. "That was brutal."
He nodded. "I felt that in my kidneys." But Yue wasn't done.
She stared at Elder Doucheface with a smirk and added one last line:
"And Poucheface? Yeah, he danced better than you fight."
Silence... Elder Doucheface's lip trembled. His fan snapped in half. He tried to say something—then fainted dramatically into the arms of his Junior Brother.
The arena went wild...
One rogue sect disciple threw their robe onto the field and screamed, "TAKE ME WITH YOU, YUE-SENPAI!"
Even the announcer was wiping away a tear. "Ladies and gentlemen… the Nightshade Demon Sect has… cooked." We gathered backstage while the judges deliberated.
The Demon King crossed his arms, solemn. "We've turned the tide."
Yue casually sipped tea. "We always do." I sat down, letting the spiritual chaos fade around us.
"After this craziness! I hope I can finally return to my sect?" And just then, just as things calmed down… and before I could get a reply, a pigeon flew in with a scroll.
I opened it... It was from the White Jade Beauty.
And it read: "Cute little battle you had. Now, how about a REAL war?"
She was coming..? I mean, that White Jade Beauty is going to crashed the competition… and brings her own sect of beautiful, bloodthirsty assassins?.
"Nah! This isn't happening! My encounter with her last time, didn't end well.. and how is a ghost going to play music?..."
"Of course they can!" Your cultivation is just bad, that why you don't know!" Yue said with a grin.
Why, I secretly rejected the offer ans tried to hurry my supposed team back to the Demon sect...But nothing prepared me for what came next...
Because, I Tried to Escape the Demon Sect… and Got Dumplings Instead
Victory.... Sweet, musical, over-the-top petty victory.
After Yue's lyrical massacre and the Heavenly Sect's complete meltdown, we returned to the Nightshade Demon Sect with our heads high, spiritual flutes raised, and more clout than we'd ever had.
Except… I was done...Done with musical battles...
Done with being everyone's accidental hero.
Done with waking up to disciples beatboxing at 6 a.m.
I was done with the Demon Sect. So naturally, I did the reasonable thing...
I packed my robe, shoved a few spiritual pears in my pocket, left a polite note that said, "Thanks for the vibes, but I'm out," and tiptoed toward the main gates at dawn.
I was five feet from freedom when—
"Where do you think you're going?" I froze. Turned slowly.
Yue stood behind me in full demon robes, arms crossed, one eyebrow raised, and that very specific look that meant I was about to regret my life choices.
"I'm… taking a morning stroll?" I tried.
She pointed at my bag. "With three robes, a disguise talisman, and travel snacks?"
"…It's a very long stroll."
She sighed, clearly trying to be patient. "Long Fei Jian. You can't just leave."
"I can! I have my own sect! I need to cultivate! I'm a serious man with serious—"
"You wanna leave?" Yue cut in. "Fine. There's just one condition." Oh no.
"You must defeat our Demon god … in single combat." I blinked. Then blinked again.
Then laughed. "I'll be dead in three seconds."
Yue smiled. "Exactly." So… yeah. I stayed.
Later That Day…
Just as I was sulking in my room, preparing my soul for a lifetime of emotional damage and awkward spiritual therapy, the Demon King barged in.
"GET DRESSED! THE PARTY IS STARTING!"
"…Party?"
"Dumplings, wine, music! We're celebrating your victory! The Demon god insisted!"
Five minutes later, I was in the great hall surrounded by loud laughter, spicy dumplings, and several disciples chanting, "RAP LORD LONG! RAP LORD LONG!"
"Please stop," I muttered, turning beet red.
Yue clinked her cup to mine. "Enjoy it. You earned this." I grumbled, but took a bite of dumpling.…Okay. That dumpling was divine.
The Demon god stood, and raised his glass. "Long Fei Jian, despite being the most unorthodox, chaotic, and unwilling disciple I've ever seen, you brought honor to our sect." I blinked.
"…Thanks?"
"And so, from this moment forward…" Oh no.
"…you are promoted to Deputy Vice Grand Inner Elder of Outer Sect Performative Warfare!"
I choked on my dumpling. "WHAT EVEN IS THAT?!" Everyone clapped.
The Demon King winked. "You're one of us now, kid." I groaned.
Yue leaned in and whispered, "Try to escape again, and your title becomes 'Dance Instructor.'"
I never tried to leave again.....