Satoru quickly yanked the shuriken from his head with a dramatic flourish, flashing an exaggerated grin. "See? Just a minor scratch! Nothing to worry about. I'm exactly the same as before!"
Sasuke, however, was not convinced. His expression darkened as he took in the steady stream of blood trickling down Satoru's forehead. The kid had seen his fair share of nonsense from his second brother, but this? This was next-level stupidity.
"It seems," Sasuke muttered, crossing his arms, "that Father and Itachi nii-san were too gentle yesterday. Because somehow, you still have the energy to joke around today."
Satoru froze mid-smile. Wait. What was this brat implying?
Sasuke smirked. "Maybe I should go and tell them all about your... heroic deeds, second brother. I'm sure they'd love to hear about your flawless shuriken technique."
Satoru's grin stiffened. "Now, now, let's not be hasty, Sasuke." He put a hand on his little brother's shoulder, squeezing lightly. "No need to make a big deal out of this. I mean, we're brothers! We keep each other's secrets, right?"
Sasuke raised an eyebrow, unimpressed. "So now you care about keeping secrets? Where was this energy when you were showing off your so-called 'invincible' shuriken technique five minutes ago?"
Satoru pouted. "Little Sasuke, you're not cute like this. What happened to my soft, fluffy, adorable little brother? Did someone steal him and replace him with this... this menace?" He clutched his chest dramatically. "How cruel!"
"Stop moving, idiot!" Sasuke snapped, exasperated. He turned on his heel and stomped toward the house, returning moments later with the medicine box in hand.
"Alright, squat down." His tone left no room for argument.
Satoru, recognizing the very real threat of Sasuke escalating things to their father, obediently lowered himself to his little brother's level. "Such a responsible little brother I have," he mused. "So reliable, so serious… Just like Itachi nii-san—"
Sasuke cut him off with a glare. "Shut up and let me patch you up."
Satoru sighed dramatically but let Sasuke dab at the wound with a cloth. The kid was clumsy with the medical supplies, but his tiny hands worked quickly, his brows furrowed in concentration.
"Second idiot, how are you this oblivious? Can't you feel how much you're bleeding?" Sasuke huffed, struggling with the bandages.
"Hahaha, what are you talking about?" Satoru grinned, trying to play it cool. "How can someone as powerful as your second brother bleed so easily? This? This is nothing. A mere scratch! A flesh wound! I was just joking!" He flicked his fingers nonchalantly. "This is tomato juice, obviously. You know, your favorite little tomatoes?"
Sasuke stopped mid-wrap, staring at him blankly.
"... Tomato juice?"
"Yup."
"... Dripping from your forehead?"
"Absolutely."
Sasuke exhaled through his nose. "I swear, if I ever hear you say something this dumb again—"
"Ah! OW!" Satoru yelped as Sasuke suddenly yanked the bandage tight, securing it with an extra knot for good measure.
The younger Uchiha smirked. "Tomato juice hurts too?"
Satoru scowled. "Obviously, you tied it too tight—!"
"Really? I thought it was because you have tomato juice in your head," Sasuke deadpanned.
Satoru huffed. "Tch. You're just like Father. No appreciation for performance art."
Sasuke rolled his eyes, but a small smirk tugged at the corners of his lips. His second brother was an idiot, but at least he was their idiot.
A brief silence fell between them before Sasuke tilted his head, his expression softening slightly. "You really don't like tomatoes, huh?"
Satoru grimaced. "Ugh, they're the worst! Sour, weird texture, not nearly sweet enough. Totally undeserving of my handsome self."
The comment stirred a memory in Sasuke.
Years ago, their father had given them tomato seedlings to grow. He'd told them that, like people, plants needed care, patience, and the right nourishment to thrive. He'd encouraged them to raise the tomatoes properly, saying the effort would be worth it.
Sasuke had taken it seriously. So had Itachi.
And surprisingly... so had Satoru.
Every day, their second brother had watered his tomato plant diligently, making sure it got plenty of sunlight. Yet, despite his best efforts, his tomatoes had turned out horrifically sour.
In a moment of desperation, he had even used ninjutsu to secretly graft his fruit onto Itachi and Sasuke's plants.
Of course, he'd been caught.
And of course, their father had given him The Look.
Sasuke snorted at the memory. "Only your tomatoes were that sour, second brother. No one else had that problem."
Satoru scowled. "Clearly, the universe was conspiring against me."
Sasuke shook his head and tugged the bandages one last time. "Alright, done."
Satoru immediately shot to his feet, dramatically throwing his arms wide. "Resurrection! Full health restored!"
Sasuke glared at him. "Don't move too much, idiot!"
"Haha! I feel amazing! Stronger than ever! Maybe even invincible!" Satoru struck a ridiculous pose, flexing his tiny muscles.
Sasuke pinched the bridge of his nose. "You're five. Sit down before you hurt yourself again."
"But I can't sit around, Sasuke!" Satoru declared. "There's something I must do!"
Sasuke narrowed his eyes. "... And that would be?"
Satoru grinned. "Obviously, practicing shuriken."
Sasuke blinked, momentarily thrown off. "... What?"
Satoru's expression turned unexpectedly serious. "I need to get better, Sasuke. Much better. And fast."
His little brother frowned. "Why? You've never cared before."
Satoru shrugged, hiding the real reason behind a casual grin. "Well, I did just make a complete fool of myself. I can't have my little brother outshining me now, can I?"
Sasuke scoffed. "You're already hopeless. One day isn't going to fix that."
"Ah, but you underestimate me, dear Sasuke." Satoru twirled a shuriken between his fingers. "Watch closely. Today, I will master the invincible shuriken technique."
And with that, he flicked his wrist, sending the shuriken flying.
"Whoosh!"
It spun through the air... heading straight for the training dummy—
—And then veered completely off course.
There was a loud THUNK.
Sasuke turned slowly, eyes wide.
Satoru winced.
The shuriken was embedded in the fence. Three houses down.
Silence.
Sasuke opened his mouth. Closed it. Opened it again. Then simply sighed, rubbing his temples. "Yeah. Hopeless."
Satoru laughed nervously. "Uh. Maybe I should practice just a little bit more."
Sasuke groaned. "Second idiot, you're going to get us both in trouble."
Satoru clapped a hand on his little brother's shoulder. "Relax. No one saw—"
"WHO THREW A SHURIKEN INTO MY HOUSE?!" a distant, furious voice boomed.
Sasuke shot Satoru a deadpan look.
Satoru sighed. "Alright, fair. Now we run."
And with that, the two Uchihas bolted.