The bees served notice at high noon, their honeycomb subpoenas stuck to the farmhouse windows like amber censures. Ling peeled one off, its hexagonal cells vibrating with accusations: *Apis Legalis v. Ling – Unlawful Pollination Profiteering & Hive Harassment*. A squadron of worker bees buzzed in formation overhead, their wingbeats spelling *UNFAIR WAGE STING* in Morse code.
Chu Feng emerged from the orchard with his beard full of disgruntled pollen. "The aphids are picketing the roses. The ants just unionized. And the earthworms—" A dirt clod hit him in the chest, unfurling into a scroll that read *Subterranean Labor Violations – See Appendix C: Compost Exploitation*.
Arbiter crouched behind a zucchini, his makeshift hazmat suit woven from jury summons and moth wings. "I might've taught basic contract law to the termites! But only to stop them eating the barn!"
A monarch butterfly landed on Ling's shoulder, its wings flashing holographic evidence of unauthorized nectar withdrawals.
---
The Entomological Tribunal convened in the rotting heart of the pumpkin patch. Judge *Coleoptera Rex*, a stag beetle the size of a tractor tire, presided from a throne of fossilized amber. His mandibles clicked open the docket:
"**Defendant stands accused of:**" The beetle's voice rattled like a shaken hive. "**(a) Unlicensed commercial use of apiarian labor; (b) Willful disregard of ant colony collective bargaining agreements; and (c) Psychological warfare via…**" His antennae twitched at a footnote. "**…'excessive dandelion propaganda' undermining pollinator morale.**"
Ling lobbed a rotten tomato. It splattered against the beetle's carapace, seeds sprouting into instant contempt charges. "Since when do bugs cite subsections?"
"**Since your *wildflower diversity report* omitted three endangered moth species!**" The judge slammed his gavel—a fossilized dragonfly—sparking a bioluminescent mist that materialized Exhibit A: A depressed bumblebee wearing a tiny "Stung by Capitalism" protest sign.
---
The trial spiraled into entomological chaos.
At the makeshift courtroom (a hollowed-out log retrofitted with lichen court reporters), the prosecution called a termite accountant who testified in pheromone equations. "**The defendant's barn constitutes 63% unauthorized cellulose consumption,**" it clicked, projecting holograms of chewed legal briefs.
Arbiter, now wearing a jury-rigged exoskeleton of stapled cease-and-desist orders, objected. "My clients exercised squatter's rights under the *Homestead Chitin Act*!"
A juror mantis devoured his paperwork mid-sentence.
Chu Feng countered by releasing genetically modified ladybugs that excreted precedent-setting glitter. The swarm formed into a shimmering *amicus curae* brief that read: *Let My Pollinators Go*.
Ling activated Jiang Yue's music box, its gears grinding out a melody that made the courtroom's fungal floorboards sprout jazz-club mushrooms. The depressed bumblebee began tap-dancing to a ragtime rendition of *Flight of the Bumblebee*.
"**Order!**" roared Coleoptera Rex, his mandibles shearing through a rogue tendril of kudzu. "**This tribunal does not recognize…**" He paused as a juror caterpillar spun itself into a silk judicial robe. "**…whatever this is.**"
---
The defense's key witness was a disgraced firefly named *Lumen Testificandum*, its abdomen dimming as it confessed: "**The hive queen falsified honey production logs!**" The firefly projected damning evidence—security footage of beetles smuggling pollen tax-free under moonlight.
The prosecution retaliated with a surprise motion: A parade of moth witnesses whose dust revealed Ling's secret midnight pumpkin rituals. "**Defendant sang off-key to squash, causing cross-species emotional distress!**"
Chu Feng leapt onto a mushroom podium. "Objection! Pumpkin serenades are protected under *Agrarian Free Speech Amendments*!"
The scarecrow judge, now sprouting antennae from its burlap skull, ruled the objection "sustained-ish."
---
Ling's final play involved the moon plow's dormant *Apian Reconciliation Protocol*. She hacked into the hive's vibrational network, broadcasting:
1. A public apology set to waggle-dance rhythms
2. A 20% stake in the lavender field's pollen futures
3. Free acupuncture sessions for overworked worker bees
The hive hesitated, their collective buzz softening into something resembling a plea deal.
---
The settlement included:
- Pollinator healthcare plans covering sting therapy and wing realignment
- A moratorium on "killer bee" rhetoric in farm signage
- Mandatory diversity training for all scarecrows
- A community garden governed by earthworm arbitrators
As Coleoptera Rex retreated to adjudicate a spider's copyright claim on dew patterns, Ling found Chu Feng retrofitting the moon plow with pollen-based MIDI controllers.
"Next crisis?" he asked, tuning a dandelion trumpet.
"Grasshoppers filed an antitrust suit against the lawn." She flicked a ladybug off the settlement papers. "Alleged 'monoculture hegemony.'"
Arbiter emerged from a termite mound wearing a hat woven from shredded injunctions. "I've learned my lesson! No more teaching *contract law* to anything with more than six legs!"
The scarecrow judge slow-danced with a moth paralegal under bioluminescent mushrooms, its straw hand brushing against wings that left precedent dust on its burlap shoulders. Somewhere beyond the compost heap, February 30th brokered a shady deal between frost and fireflies, its calendar pages fluttering like moth wings in a drafty loophole.
The audits would continue.
The balance buzzed.
But here—between contested blooms and rehabilitated beetles—they let the moon plow rust into a trellis for thornier tomorrows, its shadow stretching across treaties written in honey and rust.