Renji leaned on the cold metal railing of the balcony, his gaze lost in the distance. The twinkling lights of Hollow Spine stretched out before him, like scattered stars waiting for their chance to burn brighter, to outshine the dark. The city was full of life, full of ambition, and every corner seemed to hum with the tension of deals made in shadowed alleys, whispered conversations behind closed doors, and the endless quest for power.
He had been a part of it all, in his own quiet way, even before his mutation. But that was before the dungeons. Before the bloodshed. Before the hunger.
Renji's thoughts shifted, as they often did these days, back to the time before everything had changed. Before he had become this… monster. He remembered Mikasa, the girl he had once promised a stable, simple life. He had always believed in living by the rules, in finding peace in obedience, in doing what was expected of him. He had been content with a life of predictability, of mundane routines that he never questioned, of a job he could rely on and a fiancée who would have walked by his side through the years. It had been a quiet life, and he had been content with it.
But that was before the world itself had fractured. Before the dungeons came, bringing with them chaos, monsters, and destruction. And before the virus had twisted his body, his mind, his very soul.
Renji clenched his fists, feeling the rage simmer beneath his skin. The mutation had stripped him of his humanity, piece by piece. The hunger gnawed at him, always present, always threatening to consume him. The rules he had once lived by were now distant memories, concepts that no longer applied to the life he found himself in. The hunger inside him didn't follow rules. It didn't care about principles.
Power—the very thing Elyra had suggested he could take—had never been a part of Renji's plans. His mutation had made him realize that the rules of society no longer mattered. The hunger inside him didn't obey them. It devoured. And as much as he hated it, he couldn't escape the truth: this was his reality now.
He stared at the city below, wondering if he would ever return to a life where he could be the man he once was—the man who had loved Mikasa, who had dreamt of building a future. He was so far removed from that person now that it almost felt like a different lifetime. He was no longer bound by the constraints of his old life. The mutation had taken that from him, along with everything else.
As the thought lingered in his mind, he felt a presence beside him. Elyra had joined him again, her figure emerging from the shadows, her silhouette barely noticeable against the dimming city lights. She didn't speak at first, merely stood next to him, her eyes scanning the city as well.
Renji didn't look at her, not immediately. The conversation they had started earlier weighed heavily on him. Her suggestion had caught him off guard. He had never once considered the possibility of leading anyone, let alone ruling a faction, much less the entire underworld. It felt like an idea so foreign to him, so incompatible with the man he had been.
When he did finally glance at her, there was a mix of curiosity and uncertainty in his eyes.
"No," he said, his voice cutting through the air like a knife. "I'm not interested in that kind of life. Not after what I've become."
Elyra turned her head to look at him, her expression unreadable. She didn't seem surprised, nor did she seem offended. Instead, there was something like amusement in her gaze, a flicker of understanding mixed with a quiet appreciation.
"You're refusing?" she asked, her voice soft but laced with something that made Renji's chest tighten. "Even though you could have everything within your reach? Even though you could take control of this chaos and make it your own?"
Renji shook his head, a dry chuckle escaping his lips. "I didn't ask for this power. I didn't ask for any of it."
The words hung in the air between them, and for a moment, Elyra said nothing. Her eyes never left his, and Renji could feel the weight of her gaze, probing him in a way that unsettled him.
"I never asked for it either," Elyra said, her voice softening slightly, as if she was speaking more to herself than to him. "But sometimes, life doesn't give you a choice."
Renji didn't reply, his mind already racing ahead. He had no desire to control the underworld. His only goal, if it could even be called that, was to survive. To keep the hunger at bay, to hold onto what remained of his humanity. He had never wanted power, and the thought of taking control of the underworld felt absurd to him.
Elyra's words lingered, but they weren't enough to sway him.
"No," he repeated, this time more firmly. "I'm not meant for that. I never was. I was just a man, trying to live a normal life, and now I'm cursed with this mutation." He glanced at her, his eyes narrowing slightly. "This monster inside me."
Elyra's lips curved into a faint, enigmatic smile. She regarded him for a long moment, as if studying him, before she finally spoke.
"You're more than just the monster inside you, Renji. You've proven that. Your team, your strength—they're proof that there's more to you than what you've become. I can see it. You might not want the power, but it doesn't mean you won't take it. And if you won't take it willingly, the world will offer it to you anyway."
Renji turned his gaze back to the city below, his mind swirling with the weight of her words. He couldn't ignore the truth of them—he had already tasted power. He had already felt the thrill of battle, the surge of adrenaline, the primal satisfaction that came with defeating his enemies. But it wasn't enough for him. It never would be. Power, control, leadership—they all seemed hollow now, meaningless compared to the constant battle inside himself.
"I don't want it," he said again, quieter this time. "I don't want to be what the world expects me to be. I'm not meant to be a leader. I'm not destined for that. I'm just a man trying to survive."
Elyra watched him silently for a few moments before speaking again, her voice more contemplative than before.
"Maybe. But you might not have a choice in the end. Maybe the world will choose for you."
Renji didn't respond. He couldn't, not with the certainty that echoed in his chest. He had made up his mind. The hunger might have changed him, but it wouldn't dictate his future. He refused to let it.
Elyra's gaze softened, and she gave a small, knowing smile. "You're an interesting one, Renji. I can't quite figure you out, but I think that's what makes you so fascinating."
Renji didn't reply. He couldn't bring himself to, not with the strange feeling swirling inside him. Elyra's words had stirred something in him, but it was nothing he was ready to face just yet.
For now, the only thing he was certain of was that he wouldn't be the leader Elyra suggested. Not now. Not ever.
The hunger, the mutation, the chaos—it had already taken too much from him. And he wasn't about to let it take control of his future as well.
As the wind stirred the air around them, Renji turned and stepped away from the balcony, leaving the city—and Elyra—behind him. The hunger could wait. For now, he had other things to focus on.