My mind is something even I can't comprehend, my story is told in three ways, two which I like and one I despise, my thoughts and goals are held within me, balled up and mushed together, my story has happened but it hasn't be told, my life has changed whether it be good or bad. And so I stand here all alone staring and waiting to witness my story again hoping to change it but also preserve it. My journey has happened but hasn't been told, so I'll show you my life and only hope it can convey meaning where it once didn't exist.
A flower blooms when it's ready, and so did I, now listen to me and learn, learn that I'm human and not something you despise.
The stars in the dark sky were shining so brightly creating an imprint in my mind one that I'll never ever forget, I stood under the charming starry sky, entranced, consumed by the never ending beauty this moment was the beginning of the beginning, were it all began. This was the moment where my life would change forever.
I had to leave, but she still stood there.
She was standing there all alone, the expression on her face was one of worry, dread and a speck of hope "I'll now walk the path all alone". Her fists clenched and her expression darkened, clenching her teeth, she steeled her resolve, for once in her life she made a conviction, one that will lead to both good and bad consequences.
She closed her empty eyes, relaxing her tense expression and once again she reopened them, she awoke from her flustered state to find herself surrounded by bright pink walls and a highly decorated room with poster on walls, a cute dresser and a small nightstand, she was now lying on a bed of dreams. "What just happened?" Confused to find herself here, she only thought it was a dream. It was the only logical answer, as at that moment she lay in a lavish bed adorned with jewels and hope.
Released from her erratic thoughts, she stood up and quickly exited the room, running down a long lengthy flight of stairs, seemingly never-ending, continuing and continuing only to find herself at the front door of the building, '3 2 1' she internally counted and swiftly pulled open the door, a large gust of cold air followed bathing her. What now laid in-front of her was a white abyss, one that was would consume anything and everything, even herself. She entered.
"Come here" a voice echoed within those barren white halls.
"What?!"
"Follow me"
"Where?"
"Somewhere over there"
"There's nothing"
"Follow me"
"Why"
"Follow me this way"
"why won't you tell me"
"Close your eyes"
"Who are you?"
"I am you"
"I can't see you"
"It's okay, follow me"
"No, I'm leaving"
"There's nowhere to go"
"what have you done!"
"Come…"
Left with no choice, she followed.
"Where are we?"
"Enter"
"why?"
"To leave"
"Okay…?"
She left.
What now laid in front of her was a flower, engulfed by the never ending white abyss. A chrysanthemum. It's beautiful deep purple petals, petals that could and would kill. With extremely careful and cautious steps she closed the distance between this ominously beautiful organism, as if she was hypnotised, she reached out to touch it.
Her fingers drew near, soon drawing close to the source of its life, the bud, the epicentre of all, slowly closer and closer until finally they touched. Her once moving hand stood impossibly still, her eyes drained of their already unremarkable luster, likewise as if in harmony the once static organism shattered into a million pieces and dispersed, until it eventually turning into dust.
She stood still not moving from her place. She had realised she had never opened her eyes, and this all had to be a dream. She couldn't but she did and she saw what she shouldn't have, it was the flower, it was the chrysanthemum.
"Look at me"
The flower spoke
She did not
"LOOK at ME!"
She did not
"Please… look at me-e"
She did not
She did not
She did not
She did not
"Close your eyes"
She did not, not because she didn't want to, but because they were already closed.
"Let me die… let me finally die"
"What do you mean?"
"You're the one… the one who's torturing me, please-e stop"
"Whats happening?"
"please just look at me."
Ideas cannot be changed when they're supported by the world of perseverance, though her reasoning was weak for not looking, she trusted herself and didn't, until her already weak will broke and she succumbed and looked.
Her eyes slowly opened and she found herself no longer In The white abyss, she now stood in-front of a mirror with a small potted plant, a chrysanthemum.
Her hand reached to touch her soft and delicate cheeks, and she realised the truth, she never truly saw because she couldn't.
Her appearance was a harsh and cruel truth, her smooth and soft brunette hair, her soft pink lips, her button nose, and… her eyes so beautiful, they were a white abyss.
This was my first step, a path which I walk now and so did back then.
That was not a dream yet no reality. This was her future and her past.
"My n-name is T-Tess " her hand slowly traced around her eyes, feeling for something and there was, but it was nothing but an unfathomable white abyss. she realised she could see, that she couldn't.
"I-I-I'm… blind?" An unthinkable thought, one she thought was unbelievable but was unfortunately true, she was a girl who didn't know anything and she didn't even realise it, oblivious to the obvious signs of the unbelievable events.
The beautiful purple chrysanthemum stared at her, but she didn't stare back.
"Look at me -!: /33… /33 5)i/ !3-758(7" " it repeated "look at me and see… see this beautiful world"
She did
She did
She did
"Dream for once, dream of world where you're you." It spoke again, its words conveyed a meaning of truth, where it once didn't exist.
"Think of future that you're whole again. Think of your goals, your truth." It muttered.
"Know you're human and n-not… not human." It whispered.
" " It didn't speak.
It never spoke.
It didn't exist.
It didn't happen.
It wasn't real.
"I am real." She muttered
"I am"
"I am"
"I am… a human…?" She spoke, she whispered, she thought, she instilled, she hoped, she learned, she… was her.
Her figure stood amongst reality, whilst her mind searched in the abominable and all consuming white abyss. The answers she sought for reasons unbeknownst to her felt fulfilled, that deep feeling within has been satiated and her mind is now free, her journey is beginning from something unknown and will end with her story, the answers she seeks are within awaiting their discovery, until the awaited and faithful time arrives.
She stands all alone in this white abyss, with an ominous chrysanthemum beautiful and pure, a reflection of her, the truth she seeks and the secrets she keeps and hopes to unveil.
Her mind has awakened and her journey has begun, this is the beginning of the story that I wish to share, because I was once human and still hope I am.
This is my beginning from nothing to all, a journey I cherish and despise, deep within I know what lies, listen and learn, learn of a truth, learn of my story from me to you.
"the future awaits, a land unknown"
"Mysteries, intrigue and lies, something you know yet despise."
"Open your eyes and look at me, go to this land and save it… save it from me."
The flower spoke its words of truth. It soon wilted, but not before Tess opened her eyes. She gazed upon the wilting flower with a determined resolve, unshakable and unmovable, however that was broken by her sharp shrill cry as thoughts of madness and despair stemmed from her eyes, the wilting flower and its purple remains flew into her became one.
"Stop! Stop! You're hurting me! P-p-plea-s-se s-s-stop…" her cries rung out in the white abyss, while the thoughts of death filled the air, the purple flower whispered in her ear "the new land awaits, the throne remains empty, longing for an heir, you're future is mine, you're thoughts and despair"
It spoke its last words, hoping to be heard but its ominous prophecy was not. Tess screeched and screamed she only felt agony and pain 'please end… end this t-torture already' Tess's wishes were heard, the pain soon subsided, but the suprises did not as in turn with the purpler flower, she started to turn to dust. "what's happening! Wh-hy-y me…" she disappeared, albeit not forever as she'll soon awake in a land unknown, the future awaits and calls for her.
The life I left behind was something I don't miss, I shared what I wanted, and did what I want because I'm shaped by my future and not my past, look and know my story, shape your view, shape it into something that's you.