I am 15 chapters ahead on my patreón, check it out if you are interested.
https://www.patréon.com/emperordragon
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Chapter 34: Water Heater
The evening at the Dunphy house was peaceful, at least for a little while. Jon and Alex were lounging in the living room, engaged in one of their usual debates—this time about whether time travel in fiction should follow the multiverse theory or a single timeline paradox.
Jon is adamantly in support for single timeline, as the story won't have any stakes or tension otherwise. Alex is obviously for multiverse theory, as it is supported by scientific data and theories.
Outside, Manny and Luke were playing an overly dramatic game of lightsaber duels in the backyard, complete with exaggerated sound effects.
Suddenly, a loud, anguished shout shattered the tranquility.
"God damn it!"
Jon and Alex froze before exchanging a glance. That was Phil. And Phil rarely cursed, which meant something had gone terribly, terribly wrong.
Without hesitation, the two of them sprinted towards the basement. As they descended the stairs, they found Phil on his knees, hands in his hair, looking utterly defeated next to the water heater.
Jon surveyed the scene before cautiously asking, "Uh… Phil? What happened?"
Phil exhaled dramatically, waving an arm at the appliance like it had personally betrayed him. "The water heater had some issues, and Claire told me to call a professional. But did I listen? No. Because I, Philip Humphrey Dunphy, am a man who can handle his own home repairs! And now… it's completely broken."
Alex folded her arms, unimpressed. "You had one job, Dad."
Before Phil could respond, the sound of a car pulling into the driveway made them all stiffen.
Alex ran up to check and returned quickly, looking alarmed. "It's Mom. She's back with groceries."
Panic set into Phil's face. "She can't see this! She'll never let me live it down!"
Jon, ever the problem solver, pulled out his phone. "I think I have a solution." He quickly dialed Ron Smith, Sam's father. After a few rings, the gruff yet familiar voice answered. "Jon?"
"Hey, Ron. Quick question: how good are you with water heaters?"
There was a pause before Ron responded in his usual deadpan tone. "Boy, I run a construction business. I could fix that thing blindfolded."
Jon grinned. "Great, because my friend Phil here tried fixing his water heater, and now it's dead. His wife just pulled up, and if she sees it, Phil might not live to see another day."
A low chuckle came through the phone. "Alright, put me on video. I'll walk him through it."
Jon turned to Phil, handing over the phone. "Ron's gonna guide you. You fix the heater. Alex and I will distract Claire."
Phil looked at Jon as though he had just been saved from the electric chair. "You are a wonderful, beautiful human being."
"I know," Jon said smugly before nodding at Alex. "Let's go stall your mom."
As Claire entered the house, Jon and Alex were ready. Jon grabbed a bag of groceries, and Alex stepped in front of her, blocking the way.
"Mom! How was the store?" Alex asked, putting on an exaggeratedly sweet smile.
Claire gave her daughter a suspicious look. "Fine. Why are you acting like this?"
"What? Me? Acting?" Alex laughed awkwardly. "I always act like this."
Jon, ever the actor, jumped in. "Claire, let me help with these. You know, I was just telling Alex how much I admire a woman who can handle grocery shopping so efficiently."
Claire blinked. "That's… oddly specific."
Alex elbowed Jon subtly. He took the hint. "Uh, and also, did you hear about the new science discovery Alex was telling me about? Something about… gravity behaving weirdly?"
Alex groaned. "Really? Gravity behaving weirdly? That's the best you could come up with?"
Claire narrowed her eyes at them but didn't think much of it, Jon helped Claire carry the groceries to the kitchen and Alex followed from behind making sure that Claire doesn't turn back.
Alex and Jon help Claire put away all the groceries trying their best not to appear suspicious. After they were done Claire walked out of the kitchen to go upstairs but Alex overreacts.
Alex rushed forward and stands inbetween Claire and the basement.
Claire's eyes narrowed. "Wait a second. Why are you standing between me and the basement?"
Alex opened her mouth, but Claire was already moving past them. They tried to slow her down, but it was no use. She was a mother on a mission.
They arrived at the basement just in time to see Phil stepping back from the water heater, hands on his hips, looking incredibly pleased with himself.
Claire stared at him. "What… are you doing?"
Phil turned around with a bright smile. "Oh, hey honey! Just, you know, surprising you with a fully operational water heater."
Claire blinked. "Wait… you fixed it?"
"Yep!" Phil said, puffing out his chest. "All by myself."
Claire looked at the heater, then at Phil, then at Alex and Jon, who were standing behind her looking shifty. "Okay… I'll admit, I didn't think you could do it."
Phil gasped dramatically. "Claire, your lack of faith wounds me."
Jon and Alex exchanged a glance. Technically, they weren't lying. Phil had fixed it… with Ron's help.
Claire shook her head with a small smile. "Well, I'm impressed."
As she left, Phil turned to Jon and Alex, eyes gleaming with triumph. "That was amazing. We did it. Teamwork, baby!"
Jon smirked. "Yeah, and let's not forget that Ron basically held your hand through the whole thing."
Phil placed a hand on his chest. "Doesn't matter. Because in Claire's eyes, I am a man who conquered the beast."
Alex rolled her eyes. "Please never say that again."
With a victorious grin, Phil led the way upstairs. Jon followed, laughing to himself. Just another day in the Dunphy household.