EZRA
The cry of the baby echoed through the sterile hospital air, sharp and urgent, breaking through the tension that had settled around us. It was the sound of something new…something fragile, but full of life. I couldn't help but pause, taking in the sound, my chest tightening.
Then, I heard Elvis shout…his voice laced with excitement.
"Ezra… Malachai is a baby girl!!"
I froze, feeling the words hit me harder than I expected. A baby girl. My mind struggled to wrap itself around the idea. Malachai, this powerful man I'd known for so long, was going to be an uncle. And my mind… well, my mind was stuck in that one simple fact for longer than I cared to admit.
Before I could fully process, Malachai was there. I felt his hands on mine, his warm fingers wrapping around me. And in one smooth motion, he lifted me out of my wheelchair as if I weighed nothing at all, spinning me around with an energy I hadn't expected. I couldn't help but let out a surprised laugh, a mixture of joy and nerves.
"Ezra!!" Malachai's voice was vibrant, full of excitement, as he held me effortlessly. "Ezra, my brother is now a father!!"
I was dizzy, the world spinning for a few seconds as he spun me in his arms. I felt light, weightless, caught up in his enthusiasm. But as he set me back down on my chair , I struggled to find my bearings. I hadn't quite expected this. The joy, the thrill, the new life entering the world… it all hit me like a sudden wave.
When I finally found my balance, I swallowed, trying to regain my composure. But the moment Malachai's gaze softened, his eyes locking onto mine with something deeper, something more intense than I had anticipated, I knew something was coming.
"Hey," I said, clearing my throat. "That's… that's big malachai"
Malachai's smile faded just a little, but his intensity didn't waver. "Yeah," he said softly, but there was something more in his voice now. "But I've been thinking, Ezra… about what we could have. About what I want."
I felt my chest tighten, a sense of unease creeping up my spine. "What do you mean?" I asked, trying to keep my voice steady, even though I had a feeling I knew where this was headed.
Malachai took a deep breath, stepping closer to me, his hands now holding mine with a gentleness I didn't expect from someone as ruthless as him. "I want a family," he said, his voice low but sure. "A real one. With you."
I blinked, my heart pounding. "A family?" I repeated, my throat dry, unsure if I had heard him right. "With me?"
"Yeah," he said, eyes never leaving mine. "I want us to have a life together, to raise children, to have something real. I want us to build that together, Ezra. I want you to be by my side for it all."
For a moment, I couldn't breathe. I sat there, frozen, unable to wrap my head around the words he had just said. "Malachai, that's… a lot. I mean, how could I even…." I stuttered, suddenly unsure of how to speak, my thoughts crashing into one another.
Malachai's expression softened as he took a step closer, his hand brushing against my cheek in a surprisingly tender gesture. "Ezra, I'm not asking for everything to happen overnight. I just… I just want to know you're in this with me. You don't have to have all the answers right now. But I want us to build something….together."
The air around me seemed to thicken, the pressure of his words weighing heavily on my chest. And yet, I still couldn't wrap my head around it. I'd never thought about a family. I didn't even know if I was cut out for it. Hell, I wasn't sure I even had the right to think about it. "But how could I have a child?" I blurted out before I could stop myself. "I'm… I'm a man. I don't even know what that would look like."
I could feel the heat rushing to my face as soon as the words left my mouth. But I couldn't take them back. This idea of raising a child…of building a family…was something I had never even considered. I wasn't sure I could even be the kind of partner who could help create a family. And the thought of being a parent… it felt too foreign, too impossible.
Malachai's eyes softened, and a small, understanding smile tugged at his lips. "Ezra," he said gently, "You're not alone in this. You wouldn't be doing this by yourself. And having a family… it's not just about what you think you can give. It's about what we both want to give. Together."
I opened my mouth to speak, but the words wouldn't come. I was completely overwhelmed. I had never even considered the idea of a life like that. The thought of having kids, of building something that permanent, that tied to me and Malachai… it felt terrifying, exciting, and utterly new all at once.
"But…" I tried again, my voice smaller now, quieter. "What if I'm not enough for that kind of life? I've never… I don't know how to do that, Malachai. I'm not even sure if I can be the kind of person who would be good at raising a child. I mean, what kind of father could I even be?" My voice cracked as I said the word "father," a part of me still unsure if I could fit that role.
Malachai's hand tightened around mine, his thumb gently rubbing circles into my skin. "Ezra," he said softly, "You don't have to be perfect. You just have to be you. I love you for who you are. And I'll be there with you, every step of the way. You're more than enough. You always have been."
I swallowed hard, fighting the lump in my throat, the flood of emotions threatening to spill over. Maybe I wasn't ready for this. Maybe I never would be. But what I did know, deep down, was that I wanted to try. I wanted to try with him, to be by his side through everything.
"I…" I started, my voice barely above a whisper, "I think I could try. I want to be with you, Malachai. I want to try, even if I'm not sure how all of it works."
Malachai's expression softened, and the relief that washed over him made me feel like maybe I had said the right thing after all. "We'll figure it out together," he said, his voice steady and filled with confidence. "You don't have to do it alone, Ezra. Not now. Not ever."
I let out a breath, a weight lifting from my chest. Maybe this wasn't as impossible as I had thought. Maybe, just maybe, with Malachai, we could build something beautiful. Something we could call ours.
And for the first time, despite the fear still lingering in my chest, I realized that I could be a part of that. With him by my side, maybe I could.