MALACHAI
Lucius could have seen us. Even with the CCTV disabled, I was still stupid for taking that risk. And worse, Ezra… Ezra had looked at me like I was something tainted. Something he couldn't bear to touch. The sting of his slap was nothing compared to the ache lodged deep inside my chest.
I stormed into my own room and slammed the door shut behind me, leaning against it, my breathing heavy. My body still burned with the ghost of his touch. My fingers still itched to feel him again. But the look in his eyes when he struck me, it was as if I had betrayed something delicate, something he barely acknowledged existed in the first place.
I ran a hand down my face, exhaling sharply.
"Fuck."
This wasn't supposed to happen. I wasn't supposed to want him. And yet, from the moment I first saw him, bruised up and chained in that dim-lit room, I knew I was already losing control. He had looked at me then with eyes too sharp, too intelligent, even through the pain. And when I asked his name, he had smiled…weak, barely there, but it was enough to unsettle something in me.
I should have known better than to let my guard down.
I groaned and shoved away from the door. My hands were shaking, my jaw clenched so tight I thought my teeth would crack. I needed to get a grip. This was beyond reckless.
I crossed the room, grabbing the flask of whiskey from the nightstand. I didn't even bother with a glass….I just took a deep swig, welcoming the burn as it slid down my throat. Maybe if I drowned myself in enough of this, I'd forget the way he looked at me tonight.
But I knew better. I could drink myself into oblivion, and I would still see him. His wide, startled eyes. His trembling lips. The heat of his body against mine, even if only for a second.
I wanted him. And that terrified me more than any mission Lucius had ever sent me on.
A bitter laugh escaped me.
I was fucked. Completely, utterly fucked.
I collapsed onto the edge of the bed, elbows on my knees, head in my hands. I shouldn't have come to his room tonight. I shouldn't have kissed him. I shouldn't have let myself want more. But there was no undoing it now.
The worst part? I wasn't even sorry. Not for wanting him. Not for kissing him. The only thing I regretted was the look on his face afterward.
I could still feel the heat of his palm against my cheek. The sharp, sudden sting of his rejection.
I should hate him for that. But I don't.
I sighed and ran a hand through my hair, staring at the ceiling.
Six months. That was all I had left.
Six months before I was free.
Six months before I could walk away from all of this. From Lucius. From the blood on my hands. From the prison that held me captive.
But not from him. Not from Ezra.
I knew, deep down, that even if I made it out of here alive, I would never truly be free. Not when he existed in this world.
And if Lucius ever found out about tonight…
My grip on the flask tightened until my knuckles turned white. If Lucius ever found out about tonight, there wouldn't be a future for either of us.
I stood abruptly, pacing the room. My body was thrumming with too many emotions, too many unspoken thoughts, too much goddamn need.
I needed to do something.
Anything.
I couldn't just sit here and drown in this mess I created.
A knock on my door made me freeze.
I turned sharply, muscles tensed. No one ever came to my room this late. My heart pounded against my ribs as I slowly approached the door, my hand hovering over the handle.
I took a breath, steeling myself, and pulled it open.
Lucius stood on the other side, his expression unreadable.
"Malachai," he said smoothly, his voice like poison wrapped in silk. "Have yourself presented at my office in two minutes."
Fuck.
The flask slipped from my fingers, whiskey spilling onto the floor as dread curled in my stomach like a living thing.
Lucius knew.