Saturday had come and gone, leaving her to deal with the aftermath of attending church again. And all it took was remembering yesterday when Asmodeus took her in his arm and it left her feeling like she was everything. His touch igniting every nerve ending with desire. As if everything had been put into the very action and left nothing unsaid. It hadn't mattered they were in her favorite cafe. Or the other customers were able to see something that felt so sacred to her.
If she hadn't walked into the tides yet, they certainly had risen up to her hips at some point.
She would have to pay a visit to Pastor Hannigan. Ask whether not confessing at every week would dive her deeper than she already was. Or confess once a month at the rate she was going. Though, she'd have to use the same nickname for Asmodeus she had before-because even if she wasn't ashamed of his name-it felt blasphemous to speak his name in the one of God's churches.
Did confessing even mean anything? Was there a point? Getting to church early and staying back at times, she had not once seen David confess to the sin he committed. Not even after it happened and she did everything to avoid seeing him as much as possible. Which meant showing up early and leaving when she knew he was gone.
What would happen if she didn't confess them anymore?
Voices filled and echoed against the stained glass windows and stone structure, but Savannah didn't repeat the same words. She couldn't explain it in any way that made sense, but the words didn't hold the same meaning they once had to her. The gaze of her parent's stare bore into her, knotting her stomach with guilt. They hadn't questioned her inactive state at church-not once. She knew they were waiting for her to open up to them, giving her time to process whatever she needed to before telling them herself.
But process what? That question didn't have an answer that she knew of. She just felt it. Somewhere deep in her gut, she felt something wasn't right, but she couldn't place her finger on it. It was why she still attended because she had no reason not to. She chalked it all up to David still stealing glances at her throughout the service, which made her uncomfortable.
Now, it was also the man Wilfred frequented church with. Every time she turned her head, she would find one, if not both, staring at her. At least David had the gull to look away. The other man, however, did not. She was always the first to look away, chills raking her whole body as her mind continued to conjure those near-black eyes that pierced hers.
Her parents offered for her to come over for dinner as the pews emptied and everyone began to leave, to which she told them she would think about. She wasn't ready to leave in hopes that something would spark inside her when no one was around. Her wish, like everything else, had gone up in flames the moment Wilfred stepped into view, with the man she wanted nothing more than to run far away from. She had no justifiable reason to feel that way. She didn't know him, and he didn't know her. Yet it felt like he did with the way his gaze always held hers. Every little secret she kept hidden within. It was like he knew them all. She hated it.
"Savannah. This is Uriel." Wilfred gestured to the man she had seen attend the week after Wilfred had.
Was everything thrown at her a sick joke now?
Not that Uriel wasn't an uncommon name. But meeting a man in church that held the same name, just after getting into a relationship with one named after a fallen one? It was too coincidental to be anything but that.
Life hated her and she didn't know why.
Uriel smiled broadly at her, though she could tell his eyes gleamed with another story. His short golden blond hair was swept to the left side of his face at the top, giving off a more sophisticated look than he gave off. "I met him a while back and introduced him to this church. I figured I'd introduce you to each other since this church is everything you said it would be."
"Oh, well thank you," she said slowly, trying to be polite. "It's nice to meet you, Uriel. I'm Savannah, a co-worker of Wilfred's." She reached her hand out to shake his. Friendly. That's what she needed to appear as.
Uriel's hand slid into hers, giving a firm shake. It wasn't the act itself that had every muscle coiling, it was the way his hand in hers made goosebumps crawl up her hand and arm. "It's a pleasure, ma'am. I hope we're not taking up much of your time if you're busy. I know Wilfred wanted to introduce me last week, but you seemed a little preoccupied. I do hope everything is okay."
Savannah smiled through the bile that wanted to rise up. His sickly sweet voice ground against every corner of her mind. The way it turned even sweeter at the end, like a grown-up scolding a child who was caught lying. "Oh, no. Everything's fine."
Wilfred and Uriel hadn't been in the parking lot when David had approached her. Or when Asmodeus and Satan intervened. A few regulars she knew over the years, but not them. How did he know what happened then?
Wilfred cleared his throat, drawing her attention away from Uriel. "That's great. I was worried about you. Though, you seem in a much better mood than Friday. I take it whatever had you nervous went well yesterday?"
She was glad Wilfred was quick to change the subject. The reminder of yesterday was more than enough for the corner of her mouth to lift and spread across her face. Asmodeus's face appeared in her mind as he responded to her question. It was never the way she had thought about asking someone out, but it worked, and it felt right. "Yes. It went exceptionally well, actually. I made it into a bigger deal than I thought, and it all worked out well. I actually asked him out yesterday, and he said yes."
Wilfred's eyes widened, stealing a glance at Uriel. The exchange confused her more but Uriel's voice broke through the train of thoughts before she could grasp onto it. "What's his name?"
"Day." There was no way she could utter his full name. Not when they still stood in the confines of the church-God's domain. Not when it was the name of one of the fallen angels that were cast out, even if Asmodeus had nothing to do with him.
"What about David?" Uriel questioned, throwing her off axis slightly.
Her jaw clenched at the mention of David's name. The hairs on her neck rose the same time a shiver ran down her spine at the way Uriel's eyes sucked every emotion away in them. He held no shame for the question, even though she mentioned already moving on with someone. "David? What does he have to do with my life now?"
A warm smile spread across Uriel's face, yet it didn't reach his eyes. The usual wrinkles one got when they meant it weren't visible in the slightest. "I'm sorry. I've heard many others talk about how you two are great together and how sorry he was about what happened. I didn't mean to imply anything by it. I was curious about what others had said."
What a load of... Her teeth ground together at the way he worded it. The relationship she had with David was past tense. Was and that wouldn't change. Yet it seemed Uriel had intended to imply it that way. She wasn't sure who Uriel was to Wilfred or how long they'd known each other, but she knew she would avoid the man as much as she could. The least she could do was warn Wilfred about him, and if he heeded her words or not was up to him.
Keeping the bubbling ire from seeping further into her veins, she tried to keep her voice steady. "I don't see how rumors are cause enough to be curious about something that ended. If I had any intention to get back with my ex, which I don't, I would have. But I'm moving on and am happy with who I'm in a relationship with right now."
"I see," Uriel replied. If it was even possible, his eyes darkened further. The smile that spread across his face didn't meet the blithe darkness that were in his eyes. "Well, I'm glad you've found something better then. I had thought it was a shame to see that man groveling all over the place every time you left. I can see my mistake, so I apologize."
She forced the words out, wanting to end the conversation and leave. His eyes never seemed to leave hers, and it was unsettling to the point she felt she'd never be anywhere without those eyes watching her. "T-thank you. I should be going now, though. I have some things to do today. I'll see you tomorrow, Wilfred."
She turned on the heels of her feet, not bothering to give Uriel a goodbye, and walked between the rows of pews to the double-wide doors. Everything around her slowed, and the door didn't seem to get closer. Eyes trained on the doors, her chest tightened, willing them to get closer. Her skin felt clammy when her nerves began to run wild. It was only when the cool metal of the handle meet her palm did everything jumped back into focus-the sound of a low chuckle meeting her ears from behind. Her feet pounded down the steps once the door opened, almost missing a few steps at her fast pace, but she didn't slow.
Her hands shook, trying to press the small button to unlock her vehicle. They didn't stop the whole drive. She had to pry her fingers from around the steering wheel when she finally stopped it in the parking spot of her favorite cafe. Her head leaned against the steering wheel once she shut it off, taking a moment to take in slow breaths.
Those onyx eyes haunted her mind. The way they were like a black void, sucking anything and everything in its path when the person wielding them willed it. He had no right to throw his two cents into her life. What did he know? Rumors from others that felt they knew her life better than she did? None of them knew.
Empty and tired, she quickly ordered a cappuccino and dessert before heading back to her apartment. Her sweet and hot coffee burned her throat, but she welcomed its warmth. It overwhelmed the coldness that swept through her, removing the feeling of those eyes that sucked it away.
The door echoed throughout her apartment when she closed it with force, turning the deadbolt to ease the knot in her stomach that hadn't gone away.