We finished giving our reports. Hydrangea was happy to see us. Months where we traveled looking for people who'd be willing to join the knights. We need the influx. The mission was important. After all the possible concerns, nothing much happened.
Minus weakening my relationships. All of them. Butch is very much my knight, but not really my friend. William is my tracer and teleportation expert, but I question if he's really my best friend anymore. And don't even get me started on Jessica. She's crown princess, my future queen, and we are pretty much fighting instead of friends.
It wasn't really the mission that started the divide. It was my cold blooded murder of my mother's assassin. But if I didn't do it... Was the threat truly over? Handled? Grandfather always questioned them. Only to have this happen when they thought I was getting close with Ryan.
Ah... Another friend who isn't a friend. I saw him shortly after we got here and he refused to give me any time of day. An enemy. I'm being marked an enemy.
William slaps my shoulder. "You can take a nice rest. I'll be in Telligence... I mean in Dragit."
I rub my head. Raida's new name. She wants us there for the Harvest Mission. Even if the goblins are handled, the mission is bigger than that. Will a lack of goblins around make the battles harder or easier? "Are you staying with Raida or Al?"
"I still haven't decided. I may switch." William rubs his chin. "I'm learning goblin, so I may stay with Agoin."
I stare at him. "You're going to learn goblin?"
"Well, yeah. How else will I cast goblin magic?" William rolls his eyes. He catches someone behind me. "Ryan!"
I flinch.
"Hey, William. What's wrong?"
"You are the exact person I was looking to see." William leaves me for my ex-friend.
I listen to them walk off before continuing my path. I'm... Horse. Yes. I'll ride a little about the capital.
Do I want to? Will they let me alone?
No. They would refuse that.
"My room."
My room is the only place I can be alone. Even if it is set as a dorm, I have no friend in here. It is better for everyone if I am alone. I drop on the bed just staring at the ceiling. I am given reprieve. That's the normal case between missions. October... Harvest Mission... Dragit. I close my eyes tightly.
We're creating a peace treaty with the goblins. My thoughts were to make them citizens. I would need Agoin to be named a noble, then. It was questions I have had for a while, but really don't have ideas how to handle it.
Jessica opens my door thanking whoever brought her here. I don't see who before she closes herself in my room. "Why are you in bed?"
I grunt. Will she nag me even here? I sit up watching her. "Looking for peace and quiet."
She sits in my chair. "I wanted to apologize for the way I acted on mission."
"You weren't at fault." I drop back to the bed. I stare at the ceiling. "We were following orders."
"Thomas..." Jessica stands up. "I know you don't wish to chat with me, but I did want to apologize. I also need to tell you." She straightens herself. "I will make sure you are surrounded by enough guards to bring you ease. What we just did was improper for the crown prince."
"I was fine." I sit up staring at her. "You were in a more dangerous situation."
"You have no control of your magic and Butch beats you in the ring. The only reason you feel undefeatable right now is luck." Jessica's fists tighten. Her eyes thin. She's intent on me. Focused on me. "You need protection more than a few friends. I will not accept another option. All I need to do is mention to your parents and you'll be blockaded or surrounded. Do not suggest you should be given freedom."
I glare at her. "Who do you think lead my kidnaps? Who do you think created the most harm to my history? Jessica? Hm? Why do I keep my distance from those who should be guarding me? Why have I learned how to flee to my extent? Why do I learn their habits? These aren't normal for a fifteen year old."
"You need to trust your subjects."
"How many times did I face death, Jessica?" I stand up. "You lived kindly with a family who cared about you. You always could look at the Warton troops with care and thought. Why are there so many rules around the royal guards? And I still became a murderer before I even met Odin."
Jessica looks to the ground. "My life wasn't a blessing. I was not really a wanted a child, but they knew the importance of having a child the same age as the crown."
"I'm sorry, but our histories are not alike." I watch her a moment before dropping back on the bed. "Don't trust me. I don't care. I can't trust others so easily. If that means I'll be a villain, then so be it."
"Thomas." Jessica moves closer to me. I roll over not facing her. She kneels next to the bed not touching me. "I worry you are actually trying to get yourself killed. That you're putting yourself in harm's way to stop your life from living."
I close my eyes feeling her sorrow in such a statement. And I really can't say I'm not. I would rather death at times. All the expectations and responsibilities disappear if I am dead.
Jessica places a hand on my back. "How should I respond when my true love is wishing for death?"
"I am not against death, but I am not wishing for it."
Jessica's head hits my back. Just lying there against me. I close my eyes and reach out to touch her gently. "Thomas..."
"Sorry." We know about the true love situation. The kiss worked against Father's magic. I cannot say which of my curses I still have even. Not all curses are cured by true love's kiss. My magic is still blocked. I shift to see her tears. "Jessica."
She rubs the tears away. "Sorry."
"No. You have no need to apologize. Not for before. Not for wanting to guard and protect me. Not for forcing me to see the truth. You are right." I close my eyes. That's why her words have hurt so much. She's right. Even if she doesn't know everything about my life. She is following the same path my parents want me to.
Jessica stands back up. I grab her hand before she can distance herself. "Thomas... I am not your girlfriend. Legally, I am your wife, but I really am not. I want us to be friends, but you've been putting up a block. I am acting like the crown princess trying to protect the crown prince."
"Thank you, Jessica." I release her. She steps back giving me space. We would make a good partnership in the future. I cannot have it form now, though. "I... If I said I didn't want to be king, what would you do?"
Jessica smirks at me. "It would suit us better if you lived as a random commoner than to lose your life. Please consider your life more important. If you truly wish to give up titles, I will not hate you for it."
I watch her feet. She's strong. But we're just kids. We managed to gain adult status through the knighthood. The earliest we could do so. "Others have said I belong as crown prince. Why would I not wish to wish my full potential? I will become a great king if I let myself." I pause. Jessica doesn't say anything. She stands before me waiting. "Why was I kidnapped? Why did my parents use me to disrupt the other? Why did I grow up with so few people I could trust? The reason William was removed from me..."
"Was because he helped you plan a real escape." Jessica says for me. "Are you hoping to escape again?"
"I don't know." I sink. I stood forward as crown prince with my crown princess. We had so many people cheer us on so hopeful.
"Thomas? Let's focus on just being knights for now."
"Yeah." I stand up. "Are you joining Harvest Mission?"
"No." Jessica's word freezes me. That wasn't what I thought the answer would be. "I am joining Her Majesty during that time."
"Mom?"
"Yes, your mother." Jessica rolls her eyes. "She will give me some training for my future title while you aren't around to bother us."
I close my eyes tightly. My hands fist. Mother is readying Jessica. Either because she wants a princess to treat specially or because she wants to truly ready Jessica to become queen. "Don't let her know about my transgressions."
"I will only tell her good things." Jessica takes my hand to tug me closer to her. Standing before her, looking at her like this... She leans in to give me a light peck on the lips. As if she is allowed to. "You wanted that before, but always refused to ask."
I cover my mouth. "I didn't."
"Then I did." She grins at me. "I will see you later, Thomas." She leaves me in my room alone again.