Next morning…
"Huh… huh… I can't breathe…!"
I struggled, slowly opening my eyes—only to be greeted by two huge, soft, warm… ahem—Lexi's blessed assets, completely suffocating me as she hugged me tightly in her sleep.
Ahhh… what a way to die.
I can touch them, right?
I mean… it's totally accidental! Just a natural consequence of sleeping next to her!
Grabbing? No, no, I'm just… touching. Yeah, just lightly resting my hands there. That's all. Completely innocent. Totally fair game!
Yes, yes… just a small payback for being her acting fiancé.
With that reasoning, I slowly—very carefully—pressed my hands a little more…
Just a little more… just a tiny bit more… and here I go—the finest assets in my han—
"Good morning, Lady Lexi! Mr. Ryuk, may I come in?"
A sudden voice from outside the door shattered my moment of bliss.
I jolted so hard that I almost fell off the bed.
Lexi, still half-asleep, groaned and pulled me back into her embrace. "Mmm… five more minutes, Ryuk… you're so warm…"
Oh, come on! Lexi, now's not the time for this!!
Mphhh!! Phhhmm!!
I flailed my arms helplessly as Lexi's two huge assets smothered me once again.
"M-Miss Lexi!! Someone's at the door!!" I somehow managed to mumble between the soft yet suffocating pillows of doom.
Lexi stirred slightly, slowly opening her sleepy eyes. She smiled lazily, then…
"Oh~ good morning, Ryuk~"
And hugged me even tighter.
Tap tap tap—the knocking at the door continued.
I gave up.
Let me enjoy for a while... Just a little longer… just a bit more…
I deserve this much after all the chaos, right?
Creeeak—
"I'm coming in," the female voice announced as the door opened.
A fine-looking maid stepped inside—only to be greeted by the glorious sight of me completely buried in Lexi's huge, soft assets, my hands perfectly positioned for maximum comfort.
She froze.
I froze.
Lexi? Still half-asleep, blissfully unaware.
"...Ahh… I-I'm sorry for interrupting!!!" The maid's face turned completely red, and before I could even react—
SLAM!
She dashed out and shut the door behind her.
...
Well, that happened.
"Oh, who was it, Ryuk?" Lexi mumbled sleepily, still hugging me like a giant teddy bear.
Crisis detected.
If she wakes up properly, my precious morning comfort time will be over.
I quickly put on my best innocent voice.
"Oh, no one, Lexi! You're just dreaming!"
She blinked lazily, processing my words.
"Ohhh… yeah… dream~" she giggled softly, nuzzling closer before falling asleep again.
Mission accomplished.
Alright, time to enjoy this a little longer before reality comes knocking again… literally.
Loud thud!
The door slammed open as Duke Reynard came running in, red-faced and fuming.
"LADY LEXI!!!"
Lexi and I jerked awake instantly, and before I could even process what was happening—
Boom!
The duke's eyes landed on me, comfortably snuggled beside Lexi, who was wearing a very short, thin nightdress. His face twisted in horror, and before I could explain—
"UNFORGIVABLE!!!"
He immediately cast a spell, and the next thing I knew—
WHOOOOSH—THUD!!!
I was launched off the bed like a ragdoll and slammed into the floor.
…Ow.
Is this guy some overprotective father or what?!
"Eta taa taa taa… it hurts!!" I whined, rubbing my poor, aching back.
Lexi immediately jumped out of bed, rushing to my side. She gently picked me up, her hands caressing my body as she inspected me for injuries.
"Are you okay, Ryuk? You alright?" she asked, her voice laced with concern.
"Y-Yeah, I'm okay, Miss Lexi… it's fine," I replied, putting on my most humble, innocent gentlemanly voice. Then, with a small sigh, I added, "Maybe the Duke just doesn't like me..."
The moment those words left my mouth—
Lexi's entire demeanor changed.
She turned to the Duke with a glare so cold, the temperature in the room seemed to drop. Duke Reynard visibly paled.
"LORD REYNARD!!"
Her voice boomed with pure anger.
"You are a Duke! A respectable noble! And yet, you have NO SHAME, barging into a young lady's room without permission?! And you HURT my fiancé?!?"
The Duke gulped, his once proud posture shrinking under Lexi's fiery gaze.
…I think I just witnessed the extinction of Duke Reynard's dignity.
Hehehe~ I couldn't help but give a smug look to the Duke as Lexi continued scolding him like a child who got caught stealing cookies.
"I-I'm sorry, Lady Lexi…!" Reynard stammered. "The maid said that you two were sleeping together, so I just… uh…"
But before he could finish—
"SO WHAT???" Lexi cut him off with an even louder voice. "He's my fiancé!! What does that have to do with YOU?!"
She was clearly pissed, and honestly? It was hilarious.
Duke Reynard quickly shook his head like a terrified puppy. "I-I'm sorry!! I'll take my leave!!"
And just like that—POOF!—he disappeared in an instant.
…I think I just won a silent battle.
Lexi knelt down to my height, her green eyes full of concern.
"Ryuk, are you okay? Are you sure you're not hurt?" she asked gently, placing her hands on my shoulders.
And as someone who was completely unharmed by that low-level spell, I did what any genius would do—
"IT HURTSSS!!" I whined dramatically. "I think... I need a massage to feel better!"
Yes, yes… PERFECT PLAN. Act hurt, get a body massage from Lexi.
Lexi frowned slightly, then suddenly smiled mischievously. "Oh my~ poor Ryuk~ Then I guess I'll have to… punish Duke Reynard even more!"
…Huh? Wait, wait, wait—no, no, forget the Duke, massage ME first!!
"Oh no, Miss Lexi, that can wait! I think I need a massage... or I might end up with a serious injury," I said dramatically.
Lexi smirked mischievously and poked my chest with her finger.
"Tch tch tch, poor Ryuk~ Did you forget? Or did you think I forgot? You have the blessing of the Nature Goddess. You can't get hurt or injured~ Hehe."
…Oh crap. I forgot.
Think, Ryuk, think! Backup plan, backup plan— IDEA!
I immediately put on my most innocent face. "Ahh, Miss Lexi, that's true... but maybe... MAYBE it's because I was suffocated by your huge boo—uhm, your hug!
"You cuddled me all night, and my body is stiff! Yes, stiff! Not in pain, just stiff! You know, this has nothing to do with nature magic~"
Lexi blinked. Then her smirk widened. Oh no.
"Ohhh~? So my poor little fiancé wants a massage because he was trapped in my huge… 'hug' all night?~"
…Wait. Why does this feel like I just walked into a trap?!
Lexi smiled sweetly and said, "Then I guess I have no choice…"
Ohhh my god! Finally, a body massage from Lexi!!!
I grinned and quickly lay down on the bed. "Alright, Miss Lexi, I'm ready!"
But instead of coming closer, Lexi turned to the maid.
Huh?
HUH?!
"Maid, bring me the finest massage expert in all of Aetherwyn!"
…Wait. WAIT. WHAT?!
I shot up from the bed. "Uhm, Miss Lexi! I think my stiffness is gone!! Completely gone!! Vanished! Never existed, actually!!!"
Lexi just giggled mischievously.
Oh no.
I messed up.
Lexi tilted her head with a teasing smile. "Oh? Is that so, Ryuk? But I thought your body was all stiff because of me?"
Crap.
I forced a nervous laugh. "Oh, that! Uh… you see, I suddenly remembered that exercise is the best cure! Yeah! Just a little stretching, and I'll be fine! No massage needed!!"
Lexi crossed her arms and grinned mischievously. "Hmm~ Are you sure? I already called the expert…"
Oh no.
I need to escape. NOW.
I turned to the maid and said, "Miss Pretty Young Lady Maid, please don't call a massage expert!"
Yup, best way to convince a lady—call her pretty!
The maid blushed and stammered, "Oh, I'm not worthy of such a compliment, Mr. Ryuk!"
Yes! It worked!
"Oh my my, Ryuk! Are you cheating on me?" Lexi said with a teasing smirk.
"O-Of course not, Miss Lexi! I'm just being polite!" I quickly defended myself. "A true gentleman knows how to appreciate beauty!"
Lexi raised an eyebrow, smirking. "Oh? So now you're a gentleman, huh?"
The maid blushed even more, fidgeting with her dress. "M-Miss Lexi, please don't misunderstand… Mr. Ryuk is just very kind!"
Yes! Perfect! Now Lexi has to believe me!
But then—
"Oh my my~ First me, then the shop girl, and now even the maid? Ryuk, you're quite the little playboy, aren't you?" Lexi teased with a knowing grin.
Crap. This backfired.
"You're going to summon 100—no, 500 spirits today, Ryuk! That's your training!" Lexi declared, clearly punishing me.
"500!? Miss Lexi, but that's too—"
Before I could finish, she cut me off. "No excuses, Ryuk! Get to it!"
"Oh, I can't, Miss Lexi! You know, I have to write a letter to my mother. I need to inform her that we're staying in Aetherwyn for a year!"
Yes! Perfect excuse!
"Oh, don't worry, Ryuk. I'll handle that much," Lexi said with a smile.
How did I end up from heaven to hell!?
One moment, I was dodging a massage punishment, thinking I had outsmarted Lexi. The next, I was sentenced to summoning 500 spirits like some overworked summoner on a caffeine overdose!
This isn't fair! Where's my divine protection against unreasonable punishments!?