Hi. My name's Kane. And I'm the strongest reincarnated hero this dumb, magic-swinging, sword-humping world has ever seen.
But let's not get ahead of ourselves.
See, I'm not your average "chosen one" type. I wasn't born under a blood moon or kissed by a unicorn or whatever fairy-tale crap you're used to hearing. No, I was handpicked by a glowing, floating, megalomaniacal orb AI that looked like a disco ball on bath salts. Why? Because I did a lot of messed up shit on Earth.
Like... a lot.
And apparently, doing a bunch of morally questionable things made me the perfect candidate to do even more morally questionable things in the fantasy realm of Asteria.
Yeah. Fantasy world. Elves, dragons, mana, demon lords, the whole overpriced Renaissance fair starter pack. So if you're already thinking, "Wait, what?"—shut up. Stop interrupting me. I'm telling this story, and I don't like repeating myself.
Now, I know some of you are curious and have questions like "How did a ex-hitman, death row psycho become the Hero King of Asteria?"
Well, sit tight and pay attention, because I'm only gonna tell this story once.
I'm gonna tell you how I went from being strapped to an electric chair with nothing but a bad attitude and a dry sense of humor...
To becoming the savior of an entire world.
How I slaughtered demons, tamed dragons, and shoved a holy sword so far up a corrupted priest's ass it became a sacrament.
And, oh yeah—I'm gonna tell you how I ended up with ten generals under my command. Ten lethal, beautiful, completely unhinged women who eventually became my wives, concubines, and occasional sparring partners.
Was it love?
Was it fate?
Was it the fact that I'm the only man in this world with a 8-inch mana-enhanced manhood with unlimited stamina and a dark past so sexy it could melt armor?
I'll let you decide.
Oh—and before I get too deep into this:
If you've got kids in the room, now's the time to shoo them out. This ain't a bedtime story. This is a tell-all bloodbath with sex, violence, questionable ethics, and one very confused former government assassin trying to make sense of mana crystals and royal orgies.
So unless you want your toddler asking what a "mana-infused pelvic thrust" is, kindly escort their little asses out of this astral projection.
Alright. Adults only?
Good.
Now sit back, relax, and shut the hell up.
Because this is the epic, ridiculous, profanity-laced tale of how a sinner became a savior, a hitman became a hero, and how I—Kane—became the living legend known as the Hero King of Asteria.
Alright now, Let's begin.