"WHAT?!" I gasped loudly.
"Papa, you can't just ban greetings!" I flailed my arms like I was trying to smack the nonsense out of the air. "That's not how etiquette works!"
Papa didn't even blink. "I'm the Emperor."
"That doesn't mean you can change history!"
"It means I can change the future," he said, ominously, like he was announcing a new era of tyranny. "And we're starting with that barbaric lip-to-hand nonsense."
I stared at him. This man. This delusional, overly dramatic man. How can he say things like that with the poise of a philosopher and the logic of a watermelon?
I spun toward Ravick, my last, desperate hope. "Ravick! Please! Say something!"
He didn't even hesitate. "I agree with His Majesty, my princess."
…
I blinked.
Once. Twice. Thrice.
...ARE THESE PEOPLE OKAY?! DID SOMEONE PUT SOMETHING WEIRD IN THEIR TEA THIS MORNING!
That's when the door opened, and Theon strolled in holding a scroll—completely unaware he was walking into diplomatic insanity.
