I find clothes neatly folded placed next to me when I rise, my bones somewhat less tired than they usually are. The sun in its harshness stares down at me through the half-tinted windows as my eyes adjust to the room. My memory comes to me slowly and the hand comes to me, my own covering my groin over the covers. I feel strange as I stare at where I assume the door is wondering why she chose to touch me when she looks at me like I am dirt.
A minute or more passes before I decide it's best for me to shower again and perhaps the feeling might fade. I in fact after two showers have not mastered yet how to turn off the faucet so the water crushes me as I struggle to adjust it. The clothes are a surprise fit though my shirt does not fully cover the scar running through my chest and neck from an encounter with a guard in this very city.
I sit on the bed thinking of what I am to do once I see her and what I ought to say. Perhaps it be better to keep it to myself and hope she doesn't do the same thing ever. I'll stop her next time she tries it. Next time.
"I see the clothes fit you boy,"
My hands find my groin once more, too fast and too much than I would have wanted. She laughs I think, though I do not hear her as my head swirls. Soon, she stands over me with a smile and I have no other will but to look away in shame.
"Like I said boy, I do not usually speak twice. Did you sleep well?" She asks.
I nod. She hits me across the face.
"You will speak when spoken to boy,"
I still do not look at her.
"Did you sleep well boy?" Again she asks.
"Yes." I say my left hand holding my burning cheek. Something warm drips onto it. Blood.
"You're weak boy. Too weak."
She regards me for a while, sure wondering whether to strike me again or walk away. I raise my hand a bit waiting to lessen the impact of her blow but it never comes.
"Do you have experience in combat boy? Have you ever fought?"
I wait still.
"I see that you require a beating so that you may speak. So be it,"
This time it's her foot that finds my stomach, driving the wind out of me. She places her knee on my chest her whole weight crushing me.
"Have you ever fought boy?"
"No. At least not a real fight!"
"Next time I ask you a question you answer straight away or I will break your bones. Understand boy!"
I can't breathe.
"Yes. I under--stand." I say.
She lifts her knee from my chest, bending to meet my face. Her eyes tear me inside as she closes the distance between us her lips touching me. I want to cry and vomit at the same time but fear keeps me still. I stare at her as she closes her eyes, holding my breath.
"I'll be training you boy myself and I expect the same when you're asked by the Sister. Do you understand that lad?" Her voice is softer at the end though it still makes me quiver and feel ugly inside.
"I understand."
"Good. If you agree to it your time here will be very good. I know you yearn to see someone and I can get you to them or they to you."
As she leaves, the light in the room dims though I have something to hold on to now. Something feels gone from me and in its place her hands and her lips, I have become ugly from someone I know not their name.