The sound of the Astral Express's engines hummed softly in the air.
Aleph walked through the corridors with a calm pace, his mind still circling around everything that had happened at the Herta Space Station.
The Aeon of Exultation had entered his life in the most terrifying way possible, leaving him with more questions than answers.
But now, there was nothing he could do about it. The only thing he could do was move forward.
Luofu.
The Stellaron in that place still lingered in his thoughts.
A question floated in the back of his mind, but he forced himself to suppress it.
Who knew if it was even possible?
That thought crossed his mind once again. He knew it was stupid, greedy, and dangerous, but he couldn't dwell on it any further.
Because before he could take another step…
Someone grabbed his arm.
"Huh?"
Aleph blinked in surprise as he felt himself being pulled without warning.
He turned his head and saw Stelle, who was firmly holding onto him, stopping his advance without saying a word.
"Stelle?"
She didn't respond. She simply turned around and started dragging him with her.
Aleph tried to resist, but her grip was surprisingly strong.
"Hey, where are you taking me?"
Stelle kept walking as if she hadn't heard him.
Aleph sighed in resignation.
"There's no point in resisting, is there?"
Stelle just kept walking.
Aleph didn't push further.
"At least tell me if this is a friendly kidnapping or if I should be worried. You're not planning to take my organs and sell them on some kind of intergalactic black market, right?"
Stelle didn't even spare him a glance.
"Tough crowd, huh? But seriously… you need to stop doing this. At least stop dragging me. I can walk on my own, you know?"
"No. You'll run."
Aleph exhaled slowly, feeling defeated.
Well, he couldn't really blame her. He was ready to bolt the moment she let go.
*********
Soon, they left behind the common train cars and arrived at a different section.
The party car.
The warm lighting and elegant decor gave it a luxurious atmosphere.
There was a bar in the center with a robotic bartender polishing glasses and a stage with a piano in the background.
The robotic bartender noticed their presence and greeted them enthusiastically.
"Welcome, welcome! What can I get you? A cocktail, a joke, or a philosophical dilemma about existence?"
Stelle ignored him completely and kept walking.
Still being dragged along, Aleph managed to raise a hand apologetically toward the robot.
"Sorry, looks like I'm busy being kidnapped by a semi-loli with gray hair. You know, just another Monday on the Express."
"Oh! Then here's a free joke to go with it!"
The robot leaned forward and enthusiastically said,
"If a train is traveling at 300 km/h and an Astral Express traveler falls asleep in the party car… how long does it take for them to wake up from an interdimensional explosion?"
Aleph blinked in confusion.
"…What?"
The robot paused dramatically before bursting into pre-recorded laughter.
"Ha ha ha! I don't know, but let's hope it doesn't happen to us!"
Stelle didn't react and kept walking.
Aleph let out a heavy sigh.
"I'm definitely becoming part of this train's madness."
Finally, they reached a staircase at the back of the car.
They climbed the steps and entered a large, somewhat messy room.
Aleph looked around and realized he had never been here before.
It was… simple, but cozy. A neatly made bed, a desk with scattered items.
"…Is this your room?"
Stelle didn't answer.
She closed the door behind them and finally let go of Aleph's arm.
Aleph exhaled and rubbed his wrist.
"Alright, are you going to tell me what's going on?"
Stelle gently pushed him toward the bed.
Aleph lost his balance and sat down on the mattress.
He blinked, confused.
"…Hey? Stelle?"
Without saying a word, Stelle sat on his lap and hugged him.
Aleph felt his heart stop for a moment.
"…"
He didn't say anything.
He didn't move.
He just sat there, feeling Stelle's warmth against him.
He didn't know how much time passed.
Seconds.
Minutes.
But eventually…
A smile appeared on his face.
A light chuckle escaped his lips.
Without hesitation, he returned the embrace.
"…I see."
He finally understood.
Silence filled the room.
Aleph held onto the hug, letting Stelle's warmth surround him.
It was… strange.
But not uncomfortable.
His thoughts, which had been in turmoil after the encounter with Aha, slowly began to settle.
The weight on his chest, that constant feeling of unease, faded a little.
It wasn't that he had forgotten everything that had happened…
But at this moment, it didn't matter.
Stelle still hadn't said a word.
But she didn't need to.
Aleph's eyes widened in surprise as he suddenly remembered something.
A slightly old memory
When he was a child, his older sister was always busy with high school, her clubs, and preparing for university.
He could tell when she was stressed.
When he saw her frowning, her shoulders tense, and sighing a lot.
So, without saying a word, he would walk up to her and hug her.
He was small back then, so he could barely wrap his arms around her. He didn't know if that was the right way to convey what he wanted.
But that didn't matter because the message seemed to get through anyway.
Because his sister always smiled after that.
"You're a good little brother, *****."
That name…
Aleph furrowed his brow slightly.
For some reason, when he tried to focus on his real name, his mind became hazy.
Aleph took a deep breath and pushed that thought aside.
This wasn't the time for that. He hadn't cared about remembering it before, and he certainly wasn't going to start now.
"To hell with Aha, the Emanators, other transmigrators and reincarnates, or whatever else might happen."
He tightened the embrace slightly.
This was a moment of peace.
And he was determined not to ruin it with unpleasant thoughts.
*****
She didn't know how to express what she felt very well, either.
She wasn't good with words.
Not like the others.
But that didn't mean she didn't understand emotions.
She understood that Aleph hadn't been okay since what happened in the Simulated Universe.
She didn't ask for details.
She didn't need to know them.
She just knew that she wanted to do something.
That she wanted to give him the same warmth he had given her before, to make him forget his worries, even if only temporarily.
Like when he patted her head back in Jarillo-VI.
Like when they shared a hug after the battle against Cocolia.
That was the only thing she could think of doing.
And it worked.
She felt comfortable, and she hoped Aleph did too.
The sound of his breathing.
The beat of his heart.
The warmth she felt from being this close...
It was soothing.
Her body relaxed as she focused on listening to the rhythm of his heartbeat.
Her eyelids grew heavy, the arms wrapped around her were so warm and comforting…
That, without realizing it…
She fell asleep.
....
Aleph felt Stelle's weight on his chest grow a little heavier.
"…Did she fall asleep?"
He looked down at her for a moment.
Stelle's expression was serene, as if she had no worries at all.
She breathed softly, completely at ease.
Aleph smiled at the sight, his hand gently caressed that peaceful face.
It wasn't common to see her like this.
Normally, she had that indifferent look, as if nothing really mattered to her.
But now, asleep in his arms, she looked different.
More…
More…
Aleph felt his mind start to wander, so he decided to stop thinking about it too much.
He rested his head against the wall and closed his eyes.
"…These quiet moments are nice. I like fights—they add a little spice to daily life. But this isn't so bad either."
"I wish we'd had more moments like this back in Jarillo-VI."
"We were constantly running around, fighting, and I almost died… There wasn't much rest at the space station either, though I won't deny that meeting Flynn and Caelus was pretty entertaining."
"But here…"
He let out a small chuckle.
After absorbing the Stellaron from Jarillo-VI, his body had experienced exponential growth. At first, he and Stelle might have been around the same height, but now he was definitely taller.
He rested his cheek against Stelle's head.
"At least here, I can relax a little."
He could feel the tension leaving his body, a yawn escaping his lips, his eyelids growing heavy.
"…Maybe I was more tired than I thought."
And before he even realized it, he, too, had fallen asleep.
***********
Time passed without either of them waking up
But eventually, no matter how good it was, every good moment had to come to an end.
A voice pulled him out of his sleep, accompanied by the sound of knocking on the door.
"…Stelle, have you seen Aleph? Everyone's already gathered to discuss who's going down, but we can't start without… you… and Aleph."
March 7th's eyes widened in shock as she took in the scene before her.
"...What the hell am I looking at?!"
Aleph slowly opened his eyes, feeling his body a bit heavy from resting.
The first thing he saw was the ceiling of Stelle's room.
The second was Stelle, still asleep in his arms, her breathing calm.
And the third…
Was March 7th standing at the door, eyes wide and cheeks completely red.
Aleph blinked in confusion.
"…What?"
March 7th pointed at them with a trembling finger.
"You…! Beast! Predator of naïve and innocent girls!"
Aleph frowned in disbelief.
"…What the hell?"
March 7th burst into the room and aimed her camera at him, ready to "gather evidence."
"I knew you were dangerous, but I didn't think you'd be this brazen!"
Aleph narrowed his eyes, feeling his grogginess slowly being replaced by irritation.
"…Wait. What the hell are you talking about?"
March 7th glared at him before pointing at Stelle.
Aleph looked down…
And at that moment, he realized how the situation must have looked from an outsider's perspective.
Stelle was completely curled up against him, her hair messy, her expression peaceful yet strangely satisfied… and her clothes slightly disheveled, with flushed cheeks.
It was…
Well.
Aleph sighed and raised his hands in surrender.
"This isn't what it looks like."
March 7th scoffed, crossing her arms and shooting him an accusatory look.
"Oh, sure! Of course not! I'm sure she dragged you into her room and forced you to cuddle while you slept together!"
Aleph rubbed his face in frustration.
"Technically, yes."
March 7th fell silent for a moment.
"…Huh?"
Aleph crossed his arms and looked at her, exhausted.
"How am I supposed to convince her I didn't do anything?"
Would she accept the truth if I told her outright?
"She's the one who brought me here. I just went along with it."
March 7th blinked a few times.
She looked at Stelle.
"…"
Then at Aleph.
"…"
Then back at Stelle.
"…Still looks suspicious."
Aleph exhaled slowly, one hand rubbing his forehead in annoyance.
"Whatever. Why did you come here?"
March 7th smacked a fist into her palm, remembering her reason.
"Oh, right! Himeko wants everyone to gather at the main cabin!"
Aleph nodded and started moving, but Stelle still hadn't woken up.
"What am I supposed to do with her?"
March 7th tilted her head with a teasing grin.
"Aww~ how cute. You don't want to wake her up because she looks too adorable sleeping?"
Aleph shot her a sharp look but said nothing—because, well, she wasn't wrong.
March 7th laughed.
"Alright, alright! I'll take care of it."
Aleph carefully got up, making sure Stelle didn't hit anything as he moved.
March 7th leaned down toward Stelle and gently shook her.
"Come on, sleepyhead. Time to wake up."
Stelle let out a small grunt and snuggled deeper into the pillow.
March 7th smiled.
"…Oh. So you're the type that doesn't wake up easily."
Aleph frowned.
"March, I don't think that's a good idea."
SMACK
March 7th patted Stelle's head a bit harder.
"Wake up, Stelle!"
SMACK
"…"
Stelle finally opened her eyes.
She remained silent, her gaze unfocused.
March 7th yelled.
"Rise and shine!"
Stelle blinked once.
Twice.
And then…
In one swift motion, she grabbed her pillow and slammed it into March 7th's face.
THWACK!
March 7th collapsed onto the floor with a muffled groan.
Aleph pressed his lips together to keep from laughing.
Stelle slowly sat up in bed, still half-asleep.
"…What's going on?"
Aleph crossed his arms and looked at her.
"We need to meet up with the others."
Stelle yawned and stretched lazily.
"…Alright."
She got up without issue, her face completely relaxed as if nothing had happened.
Aleph sighed and glanced at March 7th, who was still on the floor.
"Did you learn your lesson?"
March 7th gave a thumbs-up while rubbing her face.
"…Stelle hits hard even with a pillow."
Aleph smirked slightly.
"Meh, 50/50. I was going to say something like 'Don't interrupt other people's sleep,' but this works too. Let's go before Himeko gets mad."
The three of them left the room, with March 7th still rubbing her face, tears forming at the corners of her eyes.
Aleph barely held back a laugh.
You reap what you sow, huh?
*******
The sound of footsteps echoed through the Astral Express's halls as Aleph, Stelle, and March 7th made their way to the meeting area.
Stelle walked calmly, though she still looked a bit drowsy.
March 7th, on the other hand, kept glancing at them with a pout.
Aleph completely ignored her looks and just sighed.
"Are you going to keep staring at us the whole way?"
March 7th let out a "Hmph."
"I don't know, what do you think?"
"That you're about to get another pillow to the face."
March 7th put on an exaggerated expression of fake outrage.
"Big words coming from you! The villain who took advantage of poor Stelle!"
Aleph huffed in exasperation, raising an eyebrow at her.
Had all those bumps to the head from her stupid challenge on the Express finally rattled her brain enough to make her dumber?
"You're still on about that?"
"Of course! I must protect my dear friend's purity!"
Stelle yawned and glanced at her.
"…If you keep yelling, I'm throwing something else at you."
March 7th froze for a second before speeding up her pace.
"Alright, alright, let's just go see Himeko!"
Aleph shook his head.
"Idiot…"
....
In the meeting area, Himeko, Welt, Dan Heng, and Pom-Pom were already waiting for them.
Welt adjusted his glasses and looked at them calmly.
"Right on time."
Himeko smiled.
"Perfect. Now that we're all here, let's talk about our destination."
On the Astral Express's central screen, a map of Luofu appeared.
Himeko crossed her arms.
"Most of our action plan is already in place."
She glanced at the group.
"Now the question is… who will be heading down there?"
Aleph leaned against the wall, crossing his arms.
"Is it mandatory to go?"
Himeko looked at him with curiosity.
"You don't want to?"
Aleph hesitated.
It wasn't that he didn't want to, it was more that he'd felt a little overwhelmed by so much happening in such a short time. He thought it wouldn't hurt to take a small break.
…But then he remembered what he had thought earlier.
"Will I be able to do it a second time?"
That curiosity nagged at him.
And curiosity meant both danger and opportunity—no rewards for those who don't take risks, no victory for those who fear defeat.
Aleph sighed.
"Forget it. If there's action, I'm in."
Himeko nodded.
"Good. Stelle and March 7th will be going as well."
The two of them nodded.
Dan Heng finally spoke.
"I'll stay on the Express."
Aleph raised an eyebrow.
There was something off about the way Dan Heng said that.
But he decided not to ask… for now.
Himeko looked at Welt.
"You?"
Welt smiled.
"Someone has to make sure everything stays in order here. Can I ask you to look after them?"
Himeko smirked.
"Then it's decided."
The group heading down to Luofu:
— Welt
— Stelle
— March 7th
— Aleph
The Express began to slow down.
Soon, they would be above Luofu.
Himeko turned on her heel and looked at the group.
"Get ready. We're almost there."
*************************************************************************
Well, in the end, I did badly on the exam. Oh well, life goes on.
Should I add a couple of missions during the Luofu storyline?
********************
Omake: "Stop Them!" - Part 1
Act 1: The Return of the Condemned
*********
Peace in Hyperion was a rare miracle. Welt enjoyed a cup of coffee in the meeting room, Fu Hua meditated in the garden while occasionally sipping her tea, and Bronya Rand adjusted some settings on her phone as Himeko rested with a glass of wine.
Everything seemed to be in order…
Until the front door exploded.
BOOOOOM!
The deafening blast made everyone turn sharply. A cloud of smoke covered the entrance, and from the shadows emerged two unknown figures…
Well, not that unknown.
But they were definitely not the same people who had left for vacation a week ago.
On one side, Aleph walked forward with firm steps, dressed in a long blue coat, black gloves, and leather boots. His hair floated slightly, despite the lack of wind indoors, and in his right hand rested a sheathed katana.
His usual goofy expression had been replaced with something… serious?
"…Power has consumed me. Only the sword can judge my fate."
His voice was low, cold, carrying an air of absolute arrogance.
Fu Hua raised an eyebrow.
"…What?"
On the other side, Kiana made her grand entrance, wrapped in a black cape with the Galactic Empire emblem embroidered on the back. Her expression was serious, her eyes as cold as the void of space. In her hand, she held a plastic lightsaber that was very clearly bought from a souvenir shop.
"The dark side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider… unnatural."
Himeko nearly choked on her wine.
Bronya Rand blinked slowly.
"…Why is Kiana talking like a movie villain? And why does Aleph look like a character from Devil May Cry?"
"What is going on here?"
Aleph unsheathed his katana and pointed at Welt with a challenging gaze.
"Old man… Step aside. I must surpass my humanity."
Kiana raised her hand, using her "Force powers" on Himeko.
"Bow before the power of the dark side."
Himeko stared at her as if she had lost her mind.
"Kid, what are you—?"
Suddenly, a loud BANG echoed through the room as an unexpected burst of Honkai energy (accidentally caused by Kiana) sent Himeko flying down the stairs.
THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP—!
The group fell into silence, watching Himeko roll to a stop, face down on the floor.
Bronya Zaychik, who had just arrived, took in the scene with a neutral expression.
"…Confirmed. Kiana has gone stupid again."
Welt sighed, rubbing his temples.
"No… This is worse than stupidity."
Fu Hua crossed her arms.
"It's a severe case of Terminal Chuunibyou."
"Chuunibyou?" Mei appeared from the kitchen, holding a cup of tea.
"Yes." Welt gestured toward the two lunatics standing at the entrance.
"They've spent too much time consuming anime, video games, and movies in a state of absolute sleep deprivation. Now… they've completely lost touch with reality."
Mei blinked slowly.
"…Oh no."
And at that moment, Aleph raised his katana and sliced the living room table cleanly in half with a single stroke.
SLASH!
The table split perfectly in two, both halves collapsing onto the floor with a heavy thud.
Everyone stared at the destruction with wide eyes.
"…"
"…"
"…"
Aleph lifted his gaze with an air of superiority.
"Only the weak depend on furniture."
Kiana nodded with her arms crossed.
"Exactly. We need no tables or chairs. Only power."
Bronya Rand let out a heavy sigh.
"…We need to stop them before they destroy the place."
Welt and Fu Hua nodded grimly.
And so, the fate of humanity was now at stake…
Because of two idiots who had completely lost their grip on reality.
********
Act 2: The Resistance Assembles
....
The disaster had begun.
Aleph and Kiana, completely consumed by their Chuunibyou delusions, had already caused significant collateral damage within the first five minutes of their return.
A table cut clean in half. Himeko unconscious at the bottom of the stairs. And worst of all…
They showed no signs of stopping.
"Aleph!"
Fu Hua pointed at him firmly.
"What the hell are you doing?"
Aleph closed his eyes with a stoic expression, then pulled a crumpled piece of paper from his pocket and began reading aloud.
"…The fate of a warrior is not written in the dust of the past. Only those who embrace the edge of existence can—"
Fu Hua interrupted him with a sharp smack to the head.
BOP!
Aleph staggered back, stunned.
"Hey!"
"Shut up with your edgy monologues!"
Meanwhile, Kiana ignited her "lightsaber" (which was still plastic) and slowly walked toward Mei.
"I have watched you for a long time, Mei…"
Her voice was oddly deep, and she exaggerated her breathing at random intervals.
Mei blinked, completely lost as to where this was going.
"What are you—?"
"I have come to make you an offer you cannot refuse."
She extended her hand dramatically.
"Join me, Mei. Together, we will rule the galaxy. No one will be able to stop us."
Mei stared at her as if she had grown a third eye.
"Kiana… have you been watching Star Wars all week?"
Kiana didn't blink.
"…Maybe."
Mei sighed, closing her eyes.
"This is ridiculous."
But Kiana wasn't giving up.
"Mei! I am your destiny."
Aleph suddenly appeared beside her with a malicious grin and a comically large bump where Fu Hua had smacked him.
"Sorry, Kiana… but you can't have control over this world."
He unsheathed his katana.
"Only someone with Sparda's blood can rule this realm."
Fu Hua frowned.
"Aleph! You are not Vergil."
"You are not my mother!"
"WHAT—?! That doesn't even make sense!"
BANG!
Bronya Zaychik fired a warning shot into the ceiling.
Everyone froze.
Bronya stared at them with her usual neutral expression.
"…Enough, this is ridiculous."
But Aleph and Kiana refused to be intimidated.
Aleph vanished in a burst of blue smoke.
Kiana jumped back and landed on the stair railing with feline precision.
Both of them laughed arrogantly.
"Hah… do you really think you can stop us?" Aleph smirked.
"Foolish mortals. Your power is… insignificant." Kiana mimicked him.
Bronya Rand clenched her fists.
"…This is getting out of hand."
Fu Hua sighed.
"If we don't stop them now, the world will be in danger."
Mei nodded.
"Then we must do what any sensible person would in this situation."
Bronya looked at her curiously.
"And what's that?"
Mei stood up with determination.
"Form the Resistance."
Fu Hua narrowed her eyes.
"…You're telling me we need to stage a coup against two idiots with delusions of grandeur and anime?"
"Yes."
Welt adjusted his glasses.
"Makes sense."
Himeko, who had finally regained consciousness, rubbed her aching head.
"Ugh… what did I miss?"
Mei placed a hand on her shoulder.
"Himeko… the fate of the world is at stake."
Himeko frowned.
*"…"
She grabbed her wine glass, finished it in one gulp, and stood up firmly.
"…Alright. What's the plan?"
Mei smiled.
"First… we capture Aleph and Kiana."
Bronya nodded.
"That should be easy."
But at that moment…
An explosion outside shook the entire base.
Everyone rushed to the window, and what they saw sent chills down their spines.
Kiana was floating in midair, surrounded by a dark aura of Honkai energy, her cape billowing in the wind.
"HAHAHAHA! FOOLS! YOUR EFFORTS ARE USELESS!"
Aleph stood atop a building, holding his katana with arrogance.
"Fate has spoken. We shall reign over this world, and there is nothing you can do… except offer us tributes in gummy candy every week."
"AND NONE OF THEM CAN BE ORANGE-FLAVORED!" Kiana shouted.
BOOOOOOOM!
A massive explosion of lightning and fire lit up the sky.
Fu Hua rubbed her temple.
"…We have five minutes before they destroy everything, don't we?"
Bronya nodded.
"Probably less."
Mei closed her eyes and took a deep breath.
"Alright… it's time for war!"
The Resistance was born.
And with it… humanity's last hope
**********
Act 3: Operation "Take Down Those Damn Idiots"
....
The Resistance was mobilizing.
Mei, Fu Hua, Himeko, Bronya (HI3), Bronya (HSR), Welt, and Seele (HSR) had gathered in an improvised war room.
Above the table, a holographic map of the city displayed the disaster zone.
Kiana and Aleph had taken control of an abandoned skyscraper and turned it into their fortress.
The tower was covered in energy barriers.
Red lightning bolts struck every few seconds.
A flag waved at the top with the symbol of the Empire.
Mei closed her eyes, her brow furrowing in concentration.
"Alright. The situation is critical."
Fu Hua nodded.
"If we leave them like this... the world might collapse under their stupidity."
Himeko poured herself another drink.
"What's the plan?"
Bronya set up a projector and pulled up a PowerPoint presentation.
She cleared her throat.
"Welcome to 'How to Defeat Two Idiots with an Anime Complex.' Presented by Bronya Zaychik."
Everyone nodded solemnly.
Bronya changed the slide.
> Phase 1: Baiting
Use decoys to grab their attention.
Manipulate their Chuunibyou to our advantage.
Mei narrowed her eyes.
"How?"
Bronya pointed at Seele.
"Seele, you're up."
Seele blinked and pointed at herself.
"What? Why me?"
"You're his weak spot. If you put on a cute white dress, fixed up your hair a bit, and softened your expression, you'd be the perfect bait."
Seele puffed out her cheeks.
"I'm not a decoy!"
Bronya crossed her arms.
"Yes, yes, you are. Let's go."
Seele sighed in resignation.
"Fine... but if anyone calls me a 'damsel in distress,' I'm leaving."
....
Phase 1: The Bait
Aleph and Kiana stood at the top of their tower, surveying the city like emperors.
Kiana pointed at the horizon.
"The galaxy is ours, Aleph."
Aleph let out an arrogant laugh.
"Soon, my sister. The world will bow before us."
Suddenly, a familiar voice echoed from the plaza.
"HELP! I'M IN DANGER!"
Aleph blinked.
"...Seele?"
Down below, Seele was tied to a post with a rope, wriggling dramatically.
"Oh no! Someone has captured me!"
Aleph leaned forward in confusion.
"But... who captured you?"
Mei stepped out from behind a corner, wearing a dark cape, holding a plastic staff, and sporting a monocle and fake mustache.
"Ha! I have taken this young lady as my prisoner!"
Aleph and Kiana exchanged glances.
Kiana frowned.
"Hey, Mei… why are you acting like a villain?"
Mei hesitated.
"Uhh..."
Crap. She didn't think about that.
Bronya, hiding in an alleyway, whispered through a communicator.
"Just roll with it."
Mei cleared her throat.
"Because you have harnessed the power of evil! Only another villain can stop you!"
Aleph nodded seriously.
"Makes sense."
Kiana drew her lightsaber (which was actually a broomstick).
"Then... fight!"
Mei felt a cold sweat.
"Wait, wait, no—"
Kiana jumped off the building, launching a flying kick straight at her.
BOOOOM!
Mei was sent flying into a car.
"ACK!"
Fu Hua, watching from a distance, sighed.
"Plan failed."
********
Phase 2: Forceful Intervention
Himeko adjusted her jacket.
"Alright, enough subtlety. Time for the nuclear option."
She pulled out several bottles of vodka.
Bronya blinked.
"What are you planning?"
Himeko smirked.
"Get them drunk. It worked on Welt to make him sign a contract to do my paperwork for the next— it'll work on them."
Fu Hua sighed.
"That sounds incredibly irresponsible."
Himeko tossed a bottle toward the tower.
"HEY GUYS! FREE VODKA SPECIAL!"
Aleph teleported to the ground in an instant.
"Where?"
Kiana crashed down on top of him.
"Give me two!"
Fu Hua and Mei exchanged glances.
"...Was that too easy?"
"Yeah."
But just as Himeko pulled out the next bottle…
Aleph raised a hand seriously.
"Wait."
Kiana nodded.
"Something's off."
They turned to each other.
"...They're trying to stop us."
Bronya felt a chill.
"Damn it! They figured it out!"
Aleph unsheathed his katana.
Kiana ignited her lightsaber (her broomstick broke, so she found a toy replacement).
"BETRAYAL!"
The fight began.
....
Everything turned into chaos.
Aleph kept disappearing and reappearing by teleporting (turning his body into electricity to move).
Kiana shot lightning using "The Force."
Mei ran for her life.
Fu Hua tried to fight, but every time she hit Aleph, he would quote weird lines in a deep voice.
"Aleph, calm down, or when you snap out of this, you'll be sleeping on the couch until further notice!"
Aleph blocked with one hand.
"My sword is not for killing. At least, not you, sweet maiden. Though, I must admit…"
Aleph leaned closer to her. Instinctively, she closed her eyes, but he stopped at her ear.
"I wonder… how well you would look in a nun's habit?"
"WHAT?!"
.....
Himeko tried to stop Kiana by throwing a shoe at her.
Kiana dodged it with a move straight out of The Matrix.
"Pathetic."
Bronya hacked into the barrier and shut off its energy.
"NOW!"
Seele attacked Aleph with her scythe, cutting off his romantic moment (?)
PAM!
But Aleph caught it with two fingers.
"Tsk... you're not fast enough."
Seele's eyes widened.
"WHAT?!"
Fu Hua finally landed a full-force punch to Aleph's stomach. For some reason, her face was completely red.
If anyone asked what Aleph had whispered to her after the nun comment, she would deny absolutely everything.
BOOOOOOM!
Aleph went flying straight into the plaza fountain.
Kiana stood surrounded.
She looked at everyone.
Sighed and raised her hands.
"...Alright, I surrender."
Silence.
Mei blinked.
"Huh?"
Kiana turned off her saber.
"I'm bored now. Too much fighting, not enough galactic conquest."
Aleph emerged from the fountain, drenched.
"...Is it over?"
Fu Hua crossed her arms and gave him a hard look.
"Yes."
Aleph sighed.
"Damn… I was about to reach 'Dark Slayer' status."
Mei rubbed her face.
"At least the world is safe."
Everyone turned to look at the city… it was completely destroyed.
Welt appeared in the distance, holding a cup of coffee.
"Alright. Who's paying for the damages?"
Silence.
Kiana and Aleph pointed at each other.
********
Act 4: The Grand Trial
....
The disaster had been done.
The city looked like a post-apocalyptic battlefield.
Buildings with clean katana cuts.
Crushed cars.
A skyscraper had the Devil May Cry logo burned into it.
A gigantic replica of the Death Star, built with Rubik's cubes, Legos, and duct tape, was crushing a large part of the commercial district.
And in the central plaza, a huge neon sign read:
MOTIVATION WILL NEVER DIE
The whole world wanted answers.
And so…
The trial began.
....
The Courtroom
The survivors of the catastrophe were gathered in a massive hall.
Pom-Pom, dressed in a judge's robe, slammed the gavel.
"Silence in the court!"
Aleph and Kiana sat at the defendants' bench.
Both handcuffed.
In front of them, the jury was composed of Fu Hua, Himeko, Welt, Bronya (HI3), Bronya (HSR), Seele (HSR), and Mei.
The city's citizens watched, holding protest signs.
"RECONSTRUCTION NOW"
"NO MORE IDIOT COSPLAYERS!"
"HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO FIX ALL THIS?!"
Pom-Pom adjusted his judge's wig.
"The trial has begun!"
He turned to Aleph and Kiana.
"Aleph Avesta and Kiana Kaslana, you are charged with crimes against sanity and public property! How do you plead?!"
Aleph crossed his arms.
"Innocent."
Kiana raised her hand.
"I plead epic."
Silence.
Pom-Pom glared at them.
"DO YOU EVEN REALIZE WHAT YOU'VE DONE?!"
Welt cleared his throat.
"Very well. Let's review the damage."
A hologram of the city was displayed.
Himeko pointed with a laser pointer.
"First, the Dark Tower."
Bronya sighed.
"It was covered in 'dimensional barriers that deflect nuclear missiles.'"
Mei pulled out a document.
"Additionally, they blocked air traffic because Aleph wrote 'Sky is Mine' in the sky using fire."
Fu Hua raised a finger.
"Not to mention that Kiana attempted to seize the mayor's office and declare herself Empress of the Planet."
Seele frowned.
"And the worst part… they used me as bait! Those stupid dresses don't even fit me!"
Aleph stroked his chin.
"Hmm… yeah, we did."
Kiana nodded.
"Yeah, it was pretty cool."
Pom-Pom whacked them with the gavel.
BAM!
"That is NOT a defense!"
Bronya sighed.
"Judge Pom-Pom, please issue the verdict."
Pom-Pom nodded gravely.
"By the power vested in me by this Astral Express… I hereby declare you…"
The citizens held their breath.
Aleph and Kiana sat with calm and pride.
"GUILTY OF BEING THE BIGGEST IDIOTS TO EVER EXIST!"
...
The Sentence
Mei raised her hand.
"I request that they work on reconstructing the city until they pay for every cent of the damage."
Bronya nodded.
"And that they be banned from watching anime or playing video games for six months."
Aleph and Kiana went pale, pure horror on their faces.
"WHAT?!"
Fu Hua sighed.
"I also propose that Welt be their supervisor."
Welt raised an eyebrow.
"Wait, why me?"
Himeko smirked.
"Because you're the only one with enough patience to handle them... Dan Heng would probably end up trying to kill them."
Pom-Pom slammed the gavel.
"So it shall be!"
Aleph and Kiana exchanged glances.
Then, they smirked.
"Well, six months without anime sounds awful… but at least we're not in prison."
Welt adjusted his glasses.
"Oh, they didn't tell you?"
"Eh?"
Welt pulled out a list.
"You'll both be under constant supervision and must complete over 11,000 community service tasks in the next six months."
Kiana swallowed.
"…What kind of tasks?"
Welt smiled.
"Street cleaning. Building repairs. Working at the tax office."
Aleph and Kiana stared at each other in terror.
Aleph swallowed.
"…I'd rather fight Babel again."
Kiana muttered in horror.
"No way… we've been defeated."
Pom-Pom smiled in satisfaction.
"Case closed."
BAM!
********
Extra Act: Life Without Anime…
....
And so, the reign of chaos fell.
Aleph and Kiana were sentenced to a life of community service.
No anime.
No video games.
No apocalypse speedruns.
They became responsible people…
…or so everyone thought.
One month later…
Mei entered Aleph's room to check on his rehabilitation.
"Aleph, are you doing your work?"
Silence.
Mei raised an eyebrow.
She approached the door…
And swung it open…
Inside, she found Aleph in a medieval-style black armor, wielding a massive sword, his expression dark—one eye mysteriously closed.
In the mirror, Kiana was practicing poses while wearing bizarre clothes.
Mei paled.
"…No. Not again."
Aleph raised his sword solemnly.
"My chains have been broken. The dark warrior is reborn."
Mei screamed in frustration.
"STOP ACTING LIKE ANIME CHARACTERS!"
Aleph smirked smugly.
"But, Shogun Raiden… aren't you in the same situation?"
Mei stared at him like he had just said the dumbest thing imaginable.
THE END?