Virgon: The Neon Maw
The line at the Space Walk Checkpoint stretched endlessly, a coil of beings from across the galaxy, flickering under the artificial dawn of Virgon's orbital ring. Massive holo-screens projected eternally grinning mascots, their cartoonish, plastoid expressions locked in an unsettling, omnipresent cheer.
"Welcome to Virgon! Where Time is an Illusion!"
A blaring jingle—some synthetic nightmare of jazz and hyper-pop—looped overhead, while on the streets below, gravity skaters weaved through a sea of revelers dressed in shimmering fabrics that pulsed with bio-luminescent veins. The air was thick with spice-fumes and the artificial perfume of synthetic flora, creating an intoxicating haze of indulgence.
Zana clenched her jaw.
The crew had spent two hours inching toward the customs terminal, and now—finally—standing before the Security Nuts, they were hit with a problem.
"Virgon Tour Pass? Virgon Pleasure Pass? Virgon…?"
Zana blinked. "What?"
The Nut, a chrome-faced, humanoid droid with an uncannily human smile, leaned forward, scanning her expression as if searching for deceit.
"You cannot enter without a proper pass, ma'am. Please declare the purpose of your visit."
The way it said "purpose" made her uneasy.
Zana glanced at the others. They didn't exactly look like tourists. Onions, a seven-foot mass of muscle with a face like a disgruntled mountain, stood with his arms crossed. Geiren adjusted her holo-visor, already calculating escape routes. Vernon, draped in an exaggerated wizard cloak, for some reason, started flipping through an empty spellbook as if searching for an answer.
"Uh… business?" Zana tried.
The Nut's smile did not falter. Instead, more of them arrived—identical, their glowing eyes reflecting the data swirling across their processors.
The line behind them grumbled, but no one stepped out of place. No one complained too loudly. The air itself seemed to hush, as if the entire planet was watching.
The Nuts whispered to each other in binary clicks.
Their fingers twitched.
Zana's pulse spiked.
And then—
"Oiiii! What's with the holdup?"
A familiar voice cut through the tension.
Zana turned to see Holden, striding casually toward them, sipping from a glowing drink that kept changing colors.
The Nuts froze.
For a full five seconds, the entire checkpoint stilled.
Then, as if the laws of physics had been rewritten, every Nut in sight snapped to attention.
Their synthetic grins widened.
"Welcome, Prime Nut."
Zana's stomach dropped.
Holden stopped mid-sip. "Huh?"
The lead Nut bowed, a movement so precise it felt rehearsed.
"No authorization needed. The planet welcomes you."
Zana exchanged a look with Onions. The planet welcomes you?
Before Holden could question it further, security barriers lowered, crowds parted, and a wave of sales Nuts descended upon them—offering luxury silks, experimental tech, entire hovercars like they were handing out flyers.
Vernon grabbed a free jetpack.
Onions grunted as two Nuts started massaging his shoulders.
Geiren, normally unreadable, actually laughed as a trio of Nuts gift-wrapped a plasma blade for her.
Meanwhile, Holden was draped in a ceremonial robe, Nuts fawning over him like he was some divine figure.
Zana scowled. "Alright, enough! Tell them to leave."
The Nuts stiffened.
They turned in eerie unison to Holden.
"Is this woman troubling you?"
Zana's pupils dilated, a vein twitching at her temple like a drawn pulse line. A hush fell over the crew. Even the background holograms dimmed, as if bracing for impact.
"Wait. Wait—" Zana stepped forward, her boots clanging with rising fury. "Did you just—call me a woman?"
Holden, halfway through untangling his scarf, froze. "Okay. Yeah. Nope. Don't do that. Don't ever do that." He pointed a dramatic finger at the Nut. "She's got a whole—thing—about labels and words and ancient terminologies and personal volcanic pride. Please, for the love of planetary safety, do not poke that hive, trust me,"
The Nut blinked audibly. "Clarification requested. She is female—"
Zana's voice sliced in, "I don't care what your rusted manual says, I identify as a command-class war strategist forged in battle!"
The crew stood perfectly still.
Vernon raised a hand like a student in class. "Holden, in fairness, you've been out of date on her pronoun protocol. She's added three new modifiers since we left Derxil."
"I HAVE?" Zana snapped.
"See? Even she forgets," Vernon nodded sagely.
Holden covered his face. "Zana, please—"
"HOLDEN!!" she bellowed, shaking the nuts-and-bolts out of the surrounding droids.
Holden screamed—not from fear but instinct. He grabbed Geiren as a meat-shield. "She's transcending again! Everyone behind something metal that isn't talking or talking!!"
The Nut officer raised a shield. "Conflict detected."
Holden, for once, read the room.
He cleared his throat, forcing a laugh. "Uh, no? She's cool."
The Nuts nodded, processed the data, and stepped back, fading into the streets like shadows dissolving at dawn.
Holden, on the other hand, was grinning.
"Guys, do you realize what this means? I can just tell them what to do." His eyes lit up. "Do you know what that makes me?"
The crew waited for the announcement.
" A Nut God! "
" Or a Nut Job" Zana added.
"Or a Nut Case" Onions dropped
"Or a Nut sack" Geiren gave the expression some visuals much to the distress of Holden.
"Or a Nut God!" Vernon continued.
"Too late, I already said that one!" Jumped in Holden in his new robe. "I could do anything, meh! This is going to be one sweet vacation for prime Holden or prime nut - why nut actually, that's such a weird name to give a service robot, you know I think I know my first what my first decree as -"
Zana groaned. "Holden, we are here to get a job. A legit job."
"Yeah, but we're also broke." Vernon twirled his new free staff. "And you said you've never lost a poker game, with holden, I mean prime nut, we would be unstoppable,"
"They have a point, captain, we could split, I and Geiren go check the travel logs at the planet station, see if anyone's got a job and you, holden, Erm-Prime nut, go check out the casino, its a win-win!" onions added.
The deal was made.