JUDE
I am too tired to sleep.
I haven't slept for a long time, my body is exhausted yet I can't seem to find the sleep I need. Sleeping in strange places the first night is always hard for me.
I sit on the edge of the bed, knowing that it's going to be a long night. The boys have all disappeared into their rooms, the house quiet and I can't help but notice how it is all different from my imagination.
I had thought that living with five guys would be equal to living in a frat house. Little did I know the guys follow a schedule and every time they have is accounted for. Being an idol is different from what I see on television.
I start unpacking, slowly settling in since I won't be sleeping anytime anyway. I don't have a lot of fashionable clothing, white tees, black tees and two official shirts which all barely dent the large wardrobe.
I unfold the five pairs of jeans together with one pair of shorts, two sweatpants, and my set of underwear and I am done.
The rest are toiletries that I set in the bathroom before coming back taking out my laptop and settling on the couch. I thought that would make time go faster but it has barely taken me 30 minutes.
I tap my bare foot on the floor, staring at the wall. It's barely ten o'clock. This night is going to be long.
Deciding to take a shower and wash away the long day, I grab a towel and head to the bathroom. There is hot and cold water but I opt for a cold shower.
I probably should take a hot one to help me sleep but after years of cold showers, this is the only way that is comfortable for me. I dress up in one of my sweats, and a shirt, and wrap a towel over my shoulders as I dry my hair.
Picking up the new phone I was given after they took my old one, I check the time contemplating calling Grandma. It's not too late in Catian, she should still be awake right now.
She answers right away. "grams, how are you? It's me, sivie."
"ahh, my darling boy, how are you I have missed you already."
My throat constricts and I have to force down the emotions threatening to spill. Being far away from home, far away from her, and hearing her warm voice is so hard. "I miss you too."
I look down, bangs falling above my eyes. "did you take your medicine yet? Are Mom and Dad treating you well?"
"Don't worry about that, you take care of yourself there okay? I want you to not worry and just focus on your career."
"you can tell me if they are not being good to you. I will try my best and get you back here at home."
"no, no," Grams laughs. "I do miss my garden and you but I think I should stay with them as they wish. I want you to be happy too without burdening you."
"How could you ever burden me?" my voice breaks at the end and I have to clear my throat. "I will find time and come see you soon."
"I am fine sivie. Don't worry too much about me."
"Okay. I will talk to you soon okay?"
"I love you, my boy. Now rest, I know you are exhausted. Drink some milk to sleep better."
A laugh bubbles in my throat. "okay grams. Bye-bye."
Sighing, I sit on the bed, hand buried in my still-wet hair. I hate my parents but taking care of grams while I am away was the deal. If I don't make it, they will send her back here. How cruel to dangle their parent like that but that's who they are.
Cold. Unfeeling. Business minded.
If it's not an asset in their eyes, it's a liability and they don't deal with liabilities.
Shaking off the emotions, I towel my hair and save my grandma's phone number as my first contact and I decide to download one game to see if I can keep myself busy since I no longer have access to social media for now.
I can feel my stomach growling as I towel my hair. Chucking the wet towel in the laundry bin, I take my phone, deciding to go downstairs and see if I can eat something.
Earlier when my bandmates were eating, I was too nervous to eat much but I am paying for that now.
The kitchen is huge, the house is even bigger with the dim lights, and no one around. I open the cabinets, hoping to find even a snack but I find more than one. The cabinet I open seems to be full of snacks.
I open another and I see packed foods, all stored and preserved ready for the taking.
That intrigues me and I decide to try my luck in the fridge and I am not disappointed. The fridge is full too.
Wow, I guess the staff and the company know that six boys in a house need more food than anything with all the calories we burn and the high energy we need.
Too spoilt for choice, I settle for a bowl of ramyeon, some sausages, and a cold passion juice. Passion is my favourite fruit and when it comes as a drink, it's heaven.
My game is fully downloaded as I sit down at the breakfast bar, food in front of me and the game ready for me to start playing.
"midnight snack?" a voice speaks behind me and I jump in fright phone flying and the food spilling down the island.
"oh shit!" I curse, heart in my throat as I turn around to see the speaker.
"shoot I am sorry I didn't mean to scare you," Miko catches the phone before it falls on the floor, quick on his reflexes. The food doesn't get a saving though, as the soup already spilling on the floor.
I quickly grab some towels and start cleaning up. "I am the clutz I didn't expect anyone to be here."
"let me help you," Miko rushes beside me and starts helping me clean up the mess.
A chuckle slips out. "you scared me."