Hey guys I am back! So I managed to get inspired again and even came up with a solution for the killing of humans, and it comes from the series Scott pilgrim.
Now whenever he kills anything that is human they will turn into Gil as well as the gacha coins needed for his person.
But enough on that, onto the chapter.
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"Run!" I yell as both Jessie and I ran from the soldiers that began to open fire where we were standing, as I dodge and weave through the onslaught of projectiles as we take the getaway path we were instructed to go if things went south.
"We have to warn cloud and the others!!" Jessie says as we make a turn and see the exit in the distance, but as he got closer we hear an alarm, "lockdown mode initiated, they won't be leaving now, we got them cornered like rats!!" I hear a soldier say in the distance as a barricade was closing around the exit.
"We aren't going to make it!!" I hear Jessie scream in a panic as I grit my teeth, they knew we were coming, which means either someone in Avalanche was a traitor, or worse, a Shinra spy is in the slums and is reporting us.
(Yeah I know that's probably not possible, but it's my headcanon, because of Don Corneo and the intel he had during the first half of the game.)
"Oh we aren't gonna make it, I'm not gonna make it!" I shout as I grab Jessie by her vest and chucked her with all my strength through the closing exit, "You go on ahead and inform the others!! I'll hold them off and find a new way out!" I shout as she tries to run back towards me only to have the barricade close completely.
I hear her banging on the metal as she screams my name.
"I'll come back…I promise." I mutter as I turn to face a whole army that were aiming their guns at me as from the crowd I see three people coming forward, one had red hair and a cocky smirk, the other one was rude, but the final one looked like if professor snape decided to grow a beard and become a business man.
"The Turks…if memory serves your names are Rude, Tseng and Reno." I say to the three as Rude stays silent while Reno just chuckles, "you know us? So I guess our reputations precedes us huh?" He remarks as Tseng just looks at me, "I'll give you one chance, surrender yourself and we won't open fire, our executive Ms.Scarlet wants to meet you face to face." He says as I clench my fist, "trust me, you can't win, there is three hundred of our men and only one of you."
As he mentioned Scarlet the soldiers were murmuring to each other.
"Did they say that Ms.Scarlet wants to meet this criminal?"(random soldier 1)
"He must be someone of interest."(random soldier 2)
"He must be an ex-soldier !!"(random soldier 3)
"Hey is 299 okay? I gotta go diarrhea off a catwalk."(Peter griffin)
(Wait how did Peter make a cutaway in my own fanfic?)
I look at the army of soldiers with their weapons trained on me as I look back at the three of them and lock eyes with Tseng, "okay this is how im gonna do things, first im gonna destroy your men, then I'll knock both you and Rude unconscious with your pants down, then finally…im gonna punch Reno in the balls so hard he's gonna sound like a chipmunk for a week." I declare as the soldiers start laughing at the insanity of my declaration as I look at the laughing Reno, "ask me this Reno…what will I cast."
Reno who was wiping a tear from his eye just smiled, "okay I'll humor you…what will you cast?" He asks as I smirk and take a breath.
"I CAST!!! SLY MARBO!!!" I shout as at first nothin happens, and everyone was scratching their heads as they wonder who the hell was sly marbo.
But in a split second the atmosphere changed as everyone heard faint noise.
"aaaaaaaa"
All the soldiers were looking wearily at each other before the noise grew louder up above, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!"
*Boom*
The roof of the tunnel caved in on itself as a man wearing green army fatigues, Giant knife and Bolter in hand landed on top of a soldier, crushing his skull, lining him instantly, his arms whilst covered in soldier blood you could see his muscular arm, covered in scars from battle, with a buzz cut so flat you'd think he was from Rambo.
But no…this wasn't no Rambo…this was Sly Marbo!
Taking advantage of the chaos I charge in to where Tseng and Rude were and smashed their heads together so hard I could have sworn I heard a crack reverberate around the now damaged tunnel as they both fall onto the ground, and I turn to the now afraid Reno who charged at me with his baton as he goes for a swing, 'his swing is too wide…perfect' I think as I slide under his swing and with all my strength I uppercut his balls.
"Ooooowwwwwaaaaghh!!" He shrieked as his voice went up multiple octaves before his eyes rolled into his head and he collapsed onto the ground foaming at the mouth.
I smile as I get up and take a look around, Sly marbo wasn't around and I see piles of Gil in the shapes of people as well as gacha coins mixed in and I watch as the piles of Gil and gacha coins disappear into my inventory, and I take a look at the three unconscious, possibly comatose Turks, they wouldn't be gaining consciousness anytime soon.
I unknowingly make an evil smile as I take off The pants and underwear of the three men and fold them ceremoniously as I lay Tseng ass up facedown, and I put Rude's face on top of Tsengs ass as I postition his lower body to have his ass tooted up like a bitch, and I look as Reno's baton and with an evil glint to my eye, I take the thicker part and shove it into Rude's rectum and I shove the other end through the hole I put in Reno's pants as into his ass.
(Yeah I know that's messed up, but you do remember they did send a whole army at John, and honestly I am wanting to make them remember John, plus I hated the Turks when they show up in the games.)
I take a couple steps back to admire my handiwork apbefore grabhing a pen and paper from Rude's belongings and decide to leave them a not as I hear footsteps and see Tifa and Barret barreling in and they stop as they see what im doing.
Both Tifa and Barret were looking at the three men, then at me with the look of horror in their eyes, "uh…John? What the fuck are you doing?" I hear Barret cautiously ask as I fold the letter and place in the unconscious Tsengs hand before turning to the two with a smile.
"Oh I do a little trolling." I remark as they just shake their heads before the three of us start running an alternate route out of the tunnel.
(That is NOT a little trolling!!!😭)
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Well folks I hope this chapter was worth the wait, yes the ending is fucked up but I stand by my standing, it wasn't Sephiroth and his Genova bosses I found annoying, it was the Turks!
But besides that what weapon should I have John gain from one of the Gacha coins?
And with that question out of the way I'll see you next week, peace😁✌️