DearDiary,
I can't do this anymore.
Today, Haru invited me to hang out with him and Sakura. I told myself I could handle it. That I could sit there, laugh, pretend like everything was normal.
But nothing is normal.
Not when I know what I know.
Not when I watched Sakura smile at me, completely unaware of the knife I'm holding behind my back.
"I trust you, Kei."
She said that. She meant that. And I wanted to scream.
She thinks I'm her friend. She doesn't know that I've been lying to her. That I've known all along that Mia is the one who's been trying to destroy her. That Mia was the one who spiked her drink. That Mia was the one who paid Ryo to take that photo—to spread it through the entire university, to ruin her name. That Mia was the one who set her up to be assaulted by Kenji.
Sakura doesn't know that I could have stopped this sooner.
And Haru—my best friend—he doesn't know either.
I tell myself that it's because he wouldn't believe me. That even if I told him the truth—that we were all sent back in time, that Mia is doing this because she's convinced Sakura stole him from her—he would call me insane. Because Haru doesn't remember what happened before we came back. He doesn't remember that on the day of his wedding, he ran from Mia. That he kissed Sakura, chose Sakura. That he's always loved her, even when he tried to pretend otherwise.
If I tell him the truth, he won't believe me.
And Sakura… she will.
She will believe me.
And that terrifies me even more.
Because once I tell her, she won't just hate Mia. She'll hate me.
For keeping it from her.
For letting her suffer alone.
For standing beside the person who has been ruining her life while pretending to be her friend.
And Haru… what if he hates me too? What if, even without believing in time travel, he sees me for what I really am? A coward who stood by and did nothing.
I tell myself I'm protecting them. That if I say nothing, things won't spiral even further. That keeping this secret means keeping us together.
But that's a lie, isn't it?
Because if I don't tell them soon, I'll lose them anyway.
Sakura, I swear, I'll tell you everything.
Before I lose you both forever.
Kei wrote this in his diary—the same diary that holds the truth of everything that's happened over the past nine years. The diary that helped him remember all the secrets he lost when he went back in time, the diary that holds the key to everything—the truth about Mia, Sakura, and their twisted fate.
…
Three years ago
"Well done. Thanks to you, we managed to get a lot of customers today, even though it's Valentine's Day," Kei said, organising a stack of books behind the counter.
"No problem," Mia replied with a smile. "I like working at Magic Books."
A faint blush crept onto Kei's face.
Mia was dressed up for the occasion—wearing a red dress, matching heels, and bright red lipstick. Her golden hair was tied up with a red ribbon, and she looked effortlessly beautiful.
"I'll put these books away in the back," Mia said, picking up a stack.
"I'll go with you," Kei said quickly.
Mia didn't seem to notice his nervousness as she led the way to the storage area. She stepped onto the ladder, climbing up with ease, her heels clicking lightly against the rungs.
Kei hesitated. "Uh… Mia, maybe you should take off your—"
Before he could finish, Mia's foot slipped.
She let out a sharp gasp as she lost her balance.
Kei's stomach dropped.
"Mia!"
The books tumbled from her arms as she fell backward.
Kei didn't think—he just moved.
He barely managed to catch her before she hit the ground, stumbling slightly as he steadied them both.
Mia clung to him, her chest rising and falling rapidly. For a moment, neither of them spoke.
Then—
"What the hell were you thinking?!" Kei burst out, his voice sharper than he intended. "Climbing a ladder in high heels? Are you insane?! You could've gotten seriously hurt!"
Mia's eyes widened. Then, to Kei's horror—
She started crying.
Kei stiffened. "H-Hey, I didn't mean to—"
"That was so scary," Mia sobbed, burying her face in his chest. "I really thought I was going to fall and break my neck or something!"
Kei hesitated. His arms hovered awkwardly before he slowly wrapped them around her, feeling the way her shoulders trembled.
"It's okay," he murmured, softer now. "You're okay."
Mia pulled back slightly, her hands still gripping his shirt. Her tear-filled eyes met his—
And before he could react—
She kissed him.
Kei froze.
His heart stopped, his mind went blank.
And for one fleeting moment… he kissed her back.
But that was the moment everything changed.
Because Mia was his first love. His first kiss.
And she never loved him.
…
Kei's eyes snapped open.
He was lying on his desk, his diary open in front of him. He had finished writing—when had he even fallen asleep?
Slowly, his vision blurred. His chest tightened.
That memory. He thought.
Tears slid down his face.
Kei pulled out his phone, his hands trembling slightly. His chest felt tight, and his throat burned as he stared at Mia's contact. He hesitated for a second—then pressed record.
His voice was quiet at first, shaky with emotions he had buried for too long.
"Mia… why did you kiss me that day?"
He let out a short, bitter laugh.
"You never loved me. I know that now. But back then… I didn't. You kissed me, and then you acted like it never happened. Like it meant nothing. But it meant something to me."
Kei swallowed hard, his grip tightening on the phone.
"I tried to move on after that, but how could I? You gave me hope, Mia. Hope that maybe… if I just waited long enough, if I just proved myself to you… you'd see me. You'd love me back. Do you have any idea how much I sacrificed for you?"
His voice cracked slightly.
"I chose law because of you. I hate law! But I thought… maybe if we studied together, if we spent more time together, you'd start to feel the same way. How pathetic is that?"
Kei let out a slow breath, blinking back the sting in his eyes.
"And the worst part? I hated Haru for it. For having something I wanted so badly. I was so jealous, I avoided him. Even when he started working at Magic Books after you left, I ignored him at college. I wanted to be his friend, but I couldn't. Because all I could think about was how he had you, and I didn't."
He exhaled shakily.
"But not anymore."
Kei's voice grew steadier now, filled with something heavier—resolve.
"I've been given a second chance, and I'm not wasting it on you. I'm done. I'm moving on. I'm choosing what I want, for once. And you know what else? I'm done protecting your lies. Haru deserves the truth, and this time… I'm going to tell him."
There was a beat of silence.
Then, Kei hit send.
And for the first time in years, he felt free.