Regret, however, is regret. It cannot be changed by human will.
Whether the person involved wishes it or not, it exists – an unalterable, irreversible fact.
Those tormented by pain might not be the dead, but the living who witnessed their homes destroyed and loved ones perish. All the ruins and dust don't just exist in reality.
Hua's body was limp. Her heart had long become a vast expanse of scorched earth. Dust buried her burning heart beneath the cold ruins – a wound that could never heal.
No amount of effort could ever undo it.
Rustling footsteps sounded outside the alley. A team of several dozen people discovered Hua huddled in the dark corner.
After exchanging glances, the squad entered the alley and stood before Hua.
Faced with this team that suddenly appeared before her, Hua didn't look up, her voice barely audible like a mosquito's buzz:
"Don't come near me..."
"Why?"
"Because getting close to me will only bring you misfortune..."
Hua's mournful whisper sounded like someone who had completely lost hope in life.
Yes, the malicious curses from childhood had finally come true for her: she had caused the deaths of her two closest family members.
And she, the bringer of all misfortune and bitter consequences, had survived, clinging pitifully to life in this world.
The one who should have died didn't, while those who shouldn't have, did...
"Captain, this child's mental state is highly unstable."
A member of the 5th Squad approached Himeko, reminding her quietly.
This girl was a survivor of the Third Honkai Eruption. Sometimes, surviving isn't necessarily a good thing.
Many survivors suffered severe psychological trauma after enduring catastrophe.
Such individuals, after experiencing intense, emotionally devastating events, develop a series of negative psychological reactions and emotional distress.
They experience anxiety, anger, depression, are constantly plagued by nightmares, and lose interest in life or social activities.
Of course, this wasn't the only outcome.
Some trauma stems from the trembling fear felt when infinitely close to death, causing a complete transformation. Their personality becomes timid and cowardly, hesitant in their actions. Such people easily fall into a state of irreversible decline in their future lives.
This Honkai eruption affected the East Asia region. Shanghai City was not spared; so far, there have been no survivors.
A few living people might still be found in the peripheral cities, like the small city near Shanghai City where they currently were.
The Honkai Beasts and DeadMen always missed some during their hunts, like this alleyway.
It could also be attributed to the fact that, for some unknown reason the previous day, the Honkai Beasts and DeadMen had migrated systematically towards the center of Shanghai City, resulting in more survivors in the peripheral areas.
Those who survived in this environment more or less possessed Honkai energy resistance. The mission of this World Serpent squad branch was precisely to find more warriors capable of fighting the Honkai.
Survivors either achieved nothing, living day by day in a daze, or were blinded by hatred, taking up arms and fighting continuously until exhaustion, their bodies completely eroded by Honkai, dying on the battlefield.
Clearly, the grey-haired girl before them belonged to the former category.
The squad members couldn't help but shake their heads. From her clothes, her youthful face, and her behavior, she was just a student.
If she was like this now, her future life was likely ruined.
Himeko didn't rush forward to comfort her. Instead, she pulled up nearby surveillance footage and found an interesting segment.
To maximize coverage, the recording was very blurry, but it was still possible to distinguish the people and objects in the frame.
Himeko watched the footage: Hua fighting desperately against a Deadman, every attack trading injury for injury, life for life – a reckless fighting style. She was desperate.
Then, seeing a Honkai Beast several meters tall blocking her path like an insurmountable chasm, knowing no weapon, however sharp, could pierce its armor, while the beast could crush her into pulp with a casual step.
She fled.
This proved she wasn't a fool. She knew which enemies she could fight and would fight recklessly when possible.
Her subsequent panicked flight was the instinct for survival at play.
She wanted to fight but couldn't win, making the fight meaningless.
But a child is still a child, unable to accept such a huge disparity, unable to accept the reality of her own powerlessness.
Himeko pulled up other recordings.
She was running towards the center of Shanghai City, moving from a safe city towards the most dangerous place.
To save someone...
Sympathy made Himeko frown.
During the Honkai eruption, the Honkai energy concentration in the center of Shanghai City was too high. Unless wearing specially made armor, entry was barely possible. Ordinary people would surely die in such an environment. The person she wanted to save had likely already died under the feet of Honkai Beasts or turned into a walking corpse.
If she actually saw them turned into a DeadMan, that might be the final blow to shatter her spirit.
The members of the 5th Squad murmured among themselves. Most of them were also survivors of Honkai eruptions, recruited into World Serpent, experiencing mission after mission of life or death to reach their current position.
Therefore, no one laughed at Hua's plight, let alone disparaged her.
Because they were all the same.
"Captain, maybe we should take her into our squad? She's... quite pitiful."
"Although the Honkai energy concentration in Shanghai City has decreased, at the previous level, it's impossible for anyone to have survived... I think we can temporarily hide this news, provide psychological counseling. Maybe she can pull herself together again."
"Captain, what are you planning to do?"
The squad members pulled Himeko back, discussing in low voices.
The general consensus was to take Hua into the 5th Squad. Whether she became a fighter, logistician, or was kicked out later, that was for the future.
As long as one was alive, there were infinite possibilities. Death truly meant nothing left.
No one could come back from the dead, at least no human could.
Himeko thought for a moment, then walked up to Hua, her voice resonant: "Everyone, put on your anti-Honkai erosion armor. And get me an extra set."
"Captain?"
"Captain, you can't be thinking of..."
Soon, a complete set of anti-Honkai erosion armor was handed to Himeko. Although this armor couldn't resist much Honkai energy.
But more than ten days had passed since the Third Honkai Eruption. No matter how high the Honkai energy concentration was, its effective level had sharply decreased to one-twentieth or one-thirtieth of its peak, or even lower.
Even without armor, individuals with excellent Honkai energy resistance could move freely. Armor was better, though; after all, Himeko herself wanted to fight for a few more years.
"What's your name?"
Hua slowly raised her head. She saw fiery red hair, dazzling like a phoenix bathed in fire.
"My name is Hua."
After getting Hua's name, Himeko tossed the armor in front of her, saying boldly, "Put this on. Come with us to find people."
"I once had a squad member like you, also a local from Shenzhou. After I saved him, he ran madly into the ruins where the Honkai energy concentration hadn't decreased, shouting 'need to see them alive or dead.' He died within two days, cause of death: Honkai erosion."
"You're a Shenzhou local. I respect your customs and traditions. I also understand your eagerness to save people, hindered only by your lack of strength, forcing you to hide here."
"There's someone very important to you in Shanghai City, right? Someone who makes you risk your life, rush towards them regardless of everything."
"Now, I can take you to find her."
"But I must warn you beforehand."
"After more than ten days, she's likely a Deadman, or a pile of rotten flesh and bones. Absolutely not a living person."
"Even so, do you still want to go in and find her?"
Himeko asked a soul-searching question.
The question was no longer confined to the surface level but implied: You actually already know your important person is dead, it's just your own cowardice preventing you from stepping out of the shadows.
Trying to remedy things after someone is dead is meaningless; it's not locking the barn door after the horse has bolted.
It's too late. So late that even starting to remedy now won't bring back anything good, but will instead trap yourself, crushed by the painful reality.
In the end, not only are the dead not saved, but even the living are entombed in a grave within their hearts.
After waiting for half a day, Hua gave no reply. She seemed not to have understood the meaning behind Himeko's words.
Himeko remembered something, recalling Hua's initial withdrawn behavior, and added, "Don't worry about implicating me. No one in our squad believes in something as ethereal as fate. If it truly exists, as long as it can bleed, fate can be killed just the same."
"We are strong, so don't worry about affecting us."
"The Knight-class Honkai Beast you fear is nothing more than an insignificant stepping stone to us, not even worth mentioning."
"I don't have much time or patience. Go, or not go. If the answer is yes, I'll take you in to find people right now."
Himeko extended her hand towards Hua, waiting for her response.
Hua hesitated for a few seconds, then picked up the anti-Honkai erosion armor from the ground, her eyes flashing with determination, and grasped Himeko's hand.
"I want to go," Hua said firmly.
Thus, the World Serpent 5th Squad headed towards the center of Shanghai City, everyone equipped with anti-Honkai erosion armor.
Although the Honkai energy concentration had decreased significantly, they couldn't be complacent and assume the Honkai Beasts and DeadMen had also disappeared entirely.
Danger could very well be lurking in unseen darkness.
"Yo, Himeko, where are you headed? The research lab data and survivors near Shanghai City have all been evacuated. What are you still doing here?"
On the way, the captain of another squad greeted Himeko.
"Looking for someone."
Himeko's calm reply piqued the other captain's curiosity. After all, the follow-up work was mostly done. For the renowned Himeko, the combat genius known as the Honkai Beast Meat Grinder, to be looking for someone meant they must be extraordinary.
"Huh? Looking for someone? Who?"
"Don't know. But he's in the center of Shanghai City."
Hearing Himeko's answer, the other captain's expression turned to shock, utterly astonished.
"Pfft! Are you kidding me? No one has entered the center of Shanghai City yet. Even if someone were to go, they'd have to wait at least a month until the Honkai energy subsides enough."
"Don't tell me you're planning to go in there now to look for survivors. Stop joking! In the high-concentration Honkai environment during the initial outbreak, even you and I would struggle to withstand the erosion after three days, let alone ordinary people."
"You're fulfilling a wish for your new recruit, aren't you? That kid next to you looks unfamiliar. Survivor of the Third Eruption? You want to help her find family, friends, classmates, teachers, or a lover?"
"Take my advice, it's not necessary. I might sound harsh, but risking your life for weathered skeletons, Himeko, it's not worth it."
Hearing these words, Hua remained silent, clenching her fists.
She couldn't refute it, nor could she.
Hua knew her thoughts were selfish and willful. But what if? What if Dad and Mo were still alive? Hiding in a cellar desperately searching for food, or lying near death in some desolate ruin waiting for rescue.
If her compromise and giving up led to the death of family members who could have been saved...
She couldn't accept such an outcome.
Hua couldn't convince herself to give up. Just this once, Hua didn't want to listen to others' opinions.
So even if Himeko listened to the other captain's words, it didn't matter. Even if she was alone, she would enter Shanghai City.
Noticing Hua trembling slightly beside her, Himeko walked past the other captain. Before leaving, she only said a few unrelated sentences, indicating her stance.
"People like us are destined to die sooner or later. Someone always has to take risks, to test the waters. Even if I die, I can bring back more information currently lacking for humanity. Perhaps it will be utilized by some scientist in the future, becoming a milestone in humanity's history against the Honkai."
"If I were afraid of death, I wouldn't be standing here. I stand here precisely because I am already on the path to death. Why fear it?"
The other captain paused, then retorted, "But you might very well die meaninglessly. Don't you think so? At least die meaningfully!"
Himeko: "No, you're wrong. We don't decide the meaning of our own deaths. It's up to them [the future generations] to give meaning to the departed."
Himeko ruffled Hua's small head, looking at her dotingly, her smile like a fluorescent world. Having long since disregarded life and death, Himeko had a clear understanding of her own life.
As a branch leader who could barely be considered part of humanity's upper echelon, Himeko knew many things the other captain didn't.
Himeko knew deep down that she wouldn't see humanity defeat the Honkai in her lifetime. So, before dying, keep moving forward. Even after death, still move forward, only changing form, becoming a spirit, a legacy.
Future generations stand on the shoulders of their predecessors, climbing higher peaks, seeing scenery that those like her, destined to die, could never witness in their entire lives.
Perhaps it would still be a living hell, but there would also be a glimmer of hope, telling everyone that peace and prosperity existed there.
Even if hope was faint, people would continue to surge forward, one after another.
That scenery they were destined never to see – that was the meaning behind the deaths of Himeko and many others.
Hua couldn't help but look up, meeting Himeko's fiery red eyes, bright and glorious.
Apart from Mo's pink eyes, this was the first time Hua had seen someone with such beautiful eyes.
But after looking for only a short while, Himeko ruffled Hua's head back down like petting a cat.
Himeko: "You still have a long road ahead of you. Sometimes, don't dwell too much on current difficulties. You will go far. So lift your head confidently now; your future is just beginning."
Hua: "...You're holding my head down."
Himeko: "Ha... haha, sorry, sorry, it felt too nice rubbing it. Let's go, let's go. The entrance to Shanghai City is just ahead. Cheer up! By the way, do you have photos?"
Hua: "Yes."
Hua opened her phone, tapped the photo album. Most of the top pictures were of her father and Li Mo sparring. Further down was an album of Li Mo's sleeping face.
"Let me see." Himeko snatched Hua's phone, her brow furrowing slightly. She thoughtfully glanced at Hua beside her, then back at the photos on the phone.
"Captain, let us see too, otherwise how can we find them?"
The squad members crowded around Himeko, craning their necks one by one to carefully look at the two people in the photos.
"So pretty... Is it a girl? No, looks like a boy... Such beautiful eyes. I feel like I'm kind of..."
"Hua, the middle-aged man in the photo should be your father, right? Grey hair, green eyes, features match perfectly. Then who is this person with pink eyes? Doesn't look like you at all. Probably not your brother. Could it be... a childhood fiancé?" [童养夫 - Tongyangfu: a boy raised in his future wife's family]
Hua: "He's my family."
Hua didn't elaborate further about Mo, which only made the others more curious.
As they walked, Hua recounted Li Mo's story, from his outstanding talents since childhood to his popularity, revealing everything.
If they hadn't seen the photos, the members of the 5th Squad would never have believed such a perfect person existed. After seeing the photos, everything Hua said seemed plausible again.
While chatting idly, Himeko suddenly stopped.
"Captain, why did you stop?"
Hua seemed to realize something, looking at Himeko with uneasy eyes.
Himeko sighed deeply, raised her hand to signal the others to make way for Hua, and said to her, "Hua, come to the front."
She didn't say more, perhaps because the scene before them was difficult for Hua to accept through words alone.
Hua's heart pounded, nervously walking to the front.
Upon seeing the severed hand on the ground, her pupils instantly constricted to pinpoints, her body going weak.
A severed hand alone didn't mean much. But the hand wore clothes in a style Hua had personally picked for Li Mo, exactly the same, identical to the most recent photos on her phone.
"Mo..."
Hua trembled, stiffly raising her head. Behind the severed hand lay more flesh, organs, and the tattered, shredded fragments of what was once clothing.