Guess what ? I'm still alive. Well, it's my habit to greet, by saying, " Hey, I'm still alive, you know ? ".
It's been kinda depressing lately.
The culprits are my mood swings and my ******* period, yeah better not say bad words, I'll censor myself. So, I really hate both.
I tried to be more apathetic. To feel nothing and minimize the damage caused by my emotions. Or rather, I'm way too afraid to be hurt emotionally, or accept a no. I just can't.
I think it can possibly be related to a childhood trauma ?
Oh, yeah, it's the trend, right ? No, it's just the plain truth. And maybe people are using this button to gain sympathy. But trust me, I need to yap, to unload my negative emotions. I can't kill a random person, can I ?
Those days I felt abandoned, no one wanted me. I don't have a family.
Right, the last one is true, I live alone, well, let's call it a shared place.
And, I don't like company and loud noises. Rather, I prefer silence, but my current financial situation doesn't allow me to create this. I want a cosy place, or call it home.
Why nagging so much ? Find a boyfriend ? uh ?
I bet that with my weird temper, and nasty, the relationship wouldn't last long.
Or I am too afraid of rejection.
Then what am I living for ? I dunno. I just know that I'm not that desperate to die. At least now, who knows in the future.
Okay, end of my naggings, let's get down to business.
I'm writing on chapters 58- 59 -60 of CEO, but, I think I've shifted on the side stories ? So I think I'm going to add them separately. Flashbacks, flashforwards or epilogue ? I dunno.
I'm stuck in my studies of the car license and between the office to get my citizenship changed. And no, I'm not an outlaw. I'm switching cause, It's easier to renew my documents and other stuff….
Time is tickling, yet I am still lazing around. It's called procrastinating ?
Okay, bye.
Hopefully a few chapters will be released before the end of this month .
P.S. My current workplace closes on Easter day !!
I mean, it may be a bit too hyped. No, because before, I didn't even have it !!! It was just one day a week, and daily shifts of eleven hours….
Yep, I'm still trying to recover my mental health….