"And I don't understand why that line is so hard for them not to urge me to cross. Why they want to turn me into a murderer."
Healer Letham listened in silence, as she had to most of Harry's long explanation. They were meeting in the same room in the Manor that they'd used last summer, and house-elves had brought them tea and biscuits. Harry leaned back now and finished his, sneaking little glances at Healer Letham from time to time. Her face was blank, her dangling leg swaying back and forth, and she seemed to be thinking.
"I don't think they think of it as turning you into a murderer," Healer Letham finally murmured. "They think of it as avenging you, when they're talking about killing the Muggles who raised you. Or teaching how to defend yourself, when they think of you killing someone."
"But you agree it's wrong, right?"
"I agree that murder is," Healer Letham said, and sipped from her teacup. "What I do know is that many people draw the line about what murder is elsewhere and find ways to justify it to themselves."
"Okay, like what?"
"Self-defense, in times of war. There are many Aurors who killed Death Eaters, and I don't think they spend all that many nights awake thinking about it. For that matter, some among your professors would have killed Death Eaters, in defense of themselves or their students. They don't spend all their time condemning themselves, either."
Harry felt a little daunted. "Well, but self-defense is different."
"Not for some people. If you define murder as the killing of an intelligent being, then self-defense's motivation does not make it different. It would still be the same act."
Harry squinted at Healer Letham. "Are you deliberately trying to confuse me?" He wouldn't accuse her of being on his parents' side. Enough experiences had showed him that she did consider herself as working for Harry, no matter who paid her.
"No," Healer Letham said, her voice gentle. "Trying to let you understand your parents' thinking, although of course you are free not to adopt their thought processes or definitions for yourself."
Harry let out a short breath. "Okay. So what other exceptions could there be to murder, beyond self-defense?"
"Vengeance," said Healer Letham. "There are still old laws on the books that allow someone to challenge a second person to a duel when that second person has caused harm to their family. And that duel can be lethal."
"I don't think Mr. and Mrs. Malfoy are looking to duel the Dursleys."
"No, I don't think so, either. But that is undoubtedly part of the reason behind their puzzlement that you would consider the murder of your former caretakers as murder."
"You agree it's murder, too!"
"I agree that it would be, yes. We cannot expect the Muggles who raised you to abide by the laws that the magical world has established for such duels."
Harry eyed her suspiciously. Healer Letham raised her eyebrows at him, smiling a little. Harry flushed. He was still looking at her as if she was trying to trick him, and she probably knew it.
"And that's it? They just think of it as a duel, so them it's not murder?"
"I think there is one other factor related to that, and that is blood purism. They are horrified because you were their son and went through that. They would have a lesser form of outrage if it were any other pureblood child who had suffered, and perhaps only a shrug if a Muggleborn child died of their Muggle family's abuse."
Harry was better at controlling his flinches around the word "abuse," but he wasn't perfect. Healer Letham didn't comment on it, just went on sipping her tea.
"But that's—horrible."
"It is, Harry, but I think it is also an exaggeration of a mindset many people have, not completely different. When they hear of something horrible happening to someone else, even a child, many humans will shiver a little but not be outraged. Or they will feel a fleeting moment of anger and sadness, nothing else. They may even feel thankful that it is not happening to them or theirs."
Harry nodded silently, thinking about the way that Uncle Vernon had even joked, sometimes, about things they saw on the news. Who cared about it happening to other people, as long as they were safely on the other side of the world, or freaks? Vernon had even bragged sometimes about the "muscles" Dudley had developed by beating up Harry.
"Harry?"
Harry started and looked up at Healer Letham. "Just remembering things," he said. "What do you think will happen if I tell Mother and Father that I have no intention of ever letting them punish the Dursleys?"
"Say it long enough and loudly enough, and I think they will accept that you aren't changing your mind." Healer Letham sat up. "Now, on to other subjects. You never did tell me what happened to Lupin at the end of the year."
"Oh." Harry flushed again. "It's stupid."
"Perhaps you could let me be the judge of that?"
"I—well, it was like Lupin gave up after I released Pettigrew. He only spoke to me once more, a few weeks after the thing with Pettigrew, and he said that I was nothing like the boy he had thought I was."
"What preconceptions could he have of you? Even if you had been James Potter's son in blood and truth, you weren't raised by him."
"I know!" Harry flung up his arms. "I told him that. I mean, not in the same words. I'm not as eloquent as you are. But it seemed to break him. He avoided me after that, and he told Headmaster Dumbledore that he wouldn't be returning at the end of the year. I think maybe he only took the job as Defense professor to reconnect with me or something."
"Perhaps he did."
"But that's stupid. He knew I was a Malfoy by the time he got the job! The whole world did! And I didn't know him, anyway."
Healer Letham's smile seemed to remove lines from her face. "As I believe we have established, Harry, many people do not do things for entirely rational reasons."
....
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