Summary:
Things sure do happen
Orsan stayed silent as every Coven Head argued around him, dazed and unfocused. "I say we just go for a frontal assault." Mason spoke. "They can't mess with reality if they're too surprised to do anything about it."
"Oh sure, get the jump on a child that can terraform the landscape with the snap of his fingers." Terra rolled her eyes. "That sounds so easy, why didn't any of us think about it before?"
It had been weeks since the day of unity, weeks since he was supposed to die, weeks since EVERYONE in this entire dimension was supposed to perish without a second thought … weeks since Orsan had escaped fate itself. A feat he never thought he could achieve or see in his lifetime.
"What if we try poisoning him?" A cast covered Adrian suggested. "You know, never fight him directly?"
"If we couldn't poison the Clawthorne , what makes you think it'll be easier for the Collector?" Hettie asked.
"I see the apocalypse has done nothing to inspire your innovation and creativity, you hack." Vitimir rolled his eyes.
"If you prefer, I'll hack off your head along with your tongue."
"Can we focus!" Raine shouted. "We need a way to get the dolls out of the Collector's possession. If we can free them, we have an army."
"We can't touch those without them noticing immediately." Mason spoke. "Not to mention they're probably already dead." It's been like this ever since the Day of Unity. The Collector's rampage was worse than Belos himself, forcing all the emotions of every Coven Head on the table, regardless of intention.
"No, the Collector is essentially a giant child. He wouldn't go through all the trouble of turning everyone into a puppet just to leave them dead. Heck, he probably could do it all instantly if he wanted to." Darius spoke up. "It's all one giant game for him. He may be all powerful, but he's not all knowing."
"So what, you suggest we sing him a lullaby then stab them in their sleep?" Terra asked sarcastically.
"Actually yes. Their mind is simple, easy to get into." Darius elaborated. "We gain their trust, then destroy him."
"Grr." Good point. If this thing was sealed, could it even be destroyed?
"It would be a good start to figure out how they were sealed in the first place." Vitimir pointed out. "Orsan; you've been unnervingly quiet, even more so than usual."
"My … entire life is a lie …" He spoke. "I can not foresee the Collector, he is unbound by the laws of fate … I am free from fate because of his actions …" SO MANY emotions were rushing through his skull at the moment.
"... Well he's clearly off the deep end." Adrian deadpanned. "Anyone else have a useful idea?"
"I have one … but no one here is going to like it." Hettie stated.
"Our home is essentially a toddler's sandbox, at this point we're willing to do anything just to breathe." Terra rolled her eyes.
The Healers Coven Head took a deep breath. "We talk to Kikimora."
"….So life as a puppet doesn't sound too bad now, does it?" Adrian asked out loud.
"She's the only one with knowledge of Belos, who we all know was deeply involved with this … thing ." Hettie shivered. "As much as the little goblin annoys me, she's potentially the best hope we have against the Collector."
"That's well and good, but there's the matter of finding her." Darius countered. "Orsan, we get you're having an existential crisis, but is it that hard to locate a single woman?"
"No need. I foresaw where she was before everything went dark … she resides on the skull of the titan."
"The skull … where the collector's castle floats above everything on the isles?" Terra raised an eyebrow.
"So all plans still lead to a direct confrontation with the Collector." Raine sighed. "Oh Titan, I wish Eda was here. She would at least make a good joke about the situation."
"If there was one good thing about this situation, it would be the obvious fact she's dead and gone." Terra rolled her eyes.
"She was literally the only chance we had at stopping this, but couldn't because you were all thick headed ignorant morons, you selfish, overrated has-been disheveled weed!" Raine exclaimed.
"Call me a weed again." Thorny vines grew from the ground. "See what happens." It was a miracle they hadn't killed each other already.
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Step … step … step … Odalia trudged forward … step … step … step … every step forward was absolute agony. What was worse was that she had no idea where the hell she was walking towards. She was barely able to inch her way anywhere without scrounging up one of the leftover abomination prosthetics. Of which there was barely any due to her ex husband burning down their entire life's work to ashes.
It didn't help that she specialized in oracle magic for so many years, leaving her ability to USE said prosthetic marginally at best. Meaning she was forced to grip onto it as she tried to figure out her next step in life.
So what if she had to cut her arm off to fuel the draining spell? So what if her daughter stomped on her leg until it wouldn't work? So what if the alley scum ripped her eye from its socket? So what if that Park and Hieronymus girl damaged her skin to eternally need bandages? So what if her idiot partner burned the factory to the ground!? She was Oldalia, she was a smart and capable woman with big ideas. And by titan she had ideas!
The world was slowly tearing itself apart at the moment, being at the whims of this 'collector' creature, leaving those untouched by his mayhem to fight for whatever remaining territory was left. So many confused and desperate peons, the perfect opportunity for business! Sure, money was all but useless, but in a distorted society such as this, leadership and structure was all for the taking.
All she needed was a reason to convince them to make her their leader. Hopefully it would be a couple of brats who would know their place … like a school! Oh Hexide would bow once she got that principal around her fingertips. Those brats were likely tearing Bump limb from limb in a chaotic frenzy. She would implement order, implement her brand of parenthood onto those kids, get free drones and loyal assistants from any parents that were still around for keeping their children safe, and slowly work her way up to a new hierarchy, one of her own making.
With Belos gone, soon the Boiling Isles would be hers! … Or at least the portion the Collector wasn't interested in, all hail their new psychotic deity. Maybe once she's gained a sizable force, she'll be able to discuss development and explanation. Surely the god-like creature wouldn't be content with mere playing for all of eternity, right?
Now where was Hexide? It was hard to see with the blood in her remaining eye, and she had been going in one direction for the past…well, she lost track of time so it could've been a month for all she knew. But she hadn't hit the Boiling Sea yet, so she had to be going SOMEWHERE of importance. Then she could judge the distance from there.
Just keep trudging along, just keep goin-
Fwoooosh
"Agggggg!" She felt herself getting flown into the air, tied up by the door and hanging upside down.
"Nice, we got a fresh one!" The voice of someone young shouted as what looked like teenagers surrounded her.
" Fresh meat. Too long without fresh meat!" A particularly savage looking one with an ax began swinging at her.
"Wait!" She shouted. "I'm someone who can help you!"
A single girl held up her hand, stopping the savage one. "With what?"
"I … am a highly skilled Oracle User."
"I believe I fill that role." A kid spoke without moving their mouth.
"Listen lady, you just walked into Glandus territory. We don't deal with weaklings, and redundancy isn't going to do you any favors." The purple haired girl grinned at her sickeningly. "So you got five seconds to tell us why we shouldn't let you be Lector's next lunch."
"I-I-I.." The ax came close to her. "I can develop and design whatever weapons you desire!"
The ax stopped just before it could sink into her face. "Hamlet?" The girl turned to the floating boy
"She isn't lying, or at least believes her own words. She's the former WEO of Blight Industries."
"Oooh, is she now?" The girl smirked. "So you can build up our school's power like a good little construction weasel?"
"Yes, yes, yes! Defense drones, ammunition, whatever defense and weaponry you desire."
"So I don't get to eat her?" The savage child asked.
"If she turns on us, you can. If not … you don't mind if we destroy Hexide, do you, bottom bitch?"
"Not at all, I have absolutely no attachment to that place whatsoever." Odalia answered. It was the honest truth. "So … I take it you're the ambitious sort of girl, aiming for opportunity in the current state of the world we live in?"
"Yeah. I had someone better, but they went off to fight the Collector."
Fight the … "And they think they have a chance?"
"She's more into the thrill if anything. We're pretty sure she'll be dead by next week."
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Celine took a couple of deep breaths, trying to calm her nerves. Right now, they weren't dealing with … the best situation. Every teacher was dead or a puppet, they lost the Grudgby team, the top students had all vanished, and now everyone was panicking.
She was supposed to be dead, she was supposed to be deadright now. No life, no future, absolutely nothing but the abyss of death was supposed to await her…but here she was… alive. After so many futures, so many paths seeing nothing but death…she somehow ended in the one timeline where she lived.
"Let's riot everybody!" Not that it was a peaceful timeline, but one where she lived all the same.
"Yeah, let's kick some ass!" The students went back to punching each other, panicking at the situation ahead of them.
Skara, the only student with any actual political authority due to her friendship with Boscha, had pretty much gone deaf. She's done nothing but sit in a corner alone, sometimes accompanied by Belfry, but for the most part ignoring the world like a shell shocked veteran. Having most of her friends gone or puppeted, not to mention Principal Bump's last act being saving her probably didn't help with that.
This left most of the kids constantly panicking without any central figure to lead them. As such, multiple sub divisions formed, the most deadly being the kindergarteners … those vicious maniacs, led by warden wraths little brat. The boy was somehow more brutal than the man himself.
Controlling the wild animals and plants was even more difficult. Viney was having little luck getting the former tamed, and without the teachers for the latter; there were no students capable of reigning in the latter. It didn't help that said plants were made by Willow and were desperate for their 'mama'.
"Celine!" She turned to her boyfriend, who was shaking her. "I've been calling your name for a few minutes, are you alright?"
"Yeah … just … lost in thought." She trailed off. "I didn't see this…."
"Yeah, apocalypse by god child. Who would've guessed it."
"No Matt…I didn't see living…I expected all of us to die . Even with the bunker, it was a fool's dream; a desperate last act of a desperate girl." She stated. "It's never been wrong before….and now I can't see anything at all….I don't see the future anymore."
He stared at her curiously. "... Maybe it's because the Collector's so powerful that Oracle magic doesn't work on him?"
"Maybe … but I can't tell you … how relieved I am." She felt herself go limp and fall into his arms, where he nearly tumbled backwards. "This is the happiest moment of my life Matt, and it's in the freaking apocalypse where every adult we know is probably dead …" Celine chuckled. "We could die in a minute now, we could all be turned into puppets, we could be eaten alive….a freaking lightning bolt could strike me dead now … I truly don't know anything for the first time ever … and I get to share that with you." She leaned up and kissed his cheek.
"… Well … Can we at least make it so everyone else in the room doesn't kill us?" Her blushing boyfriend asked.
"Matt, you know what to do." She smirked.
"..Did you see a future where I do something-"
"Matt, I've seen and watched your ideas. The ones you wrote down but never showed anyone because you thought no one would ever listen." She encouraged him. "Just tell them all now."
He looked at her, then at the crowd. "Do you think they'll listen?"
"I know they will…and it's not because of oracle magic." She was never going to do fortune telling ever again. "It's because I know that the person you are deep down inside is someone smart and full of integrity…and if they don't listen." She snapped her fingers and summoned casper. "Then they'll have to answer to me."
"Listen up twerps!" The ghost shouted, shutting up the hallways. "This kid has a few words to say!"
"Way to put me on the spot." He muttered, before clearing his throat and gently placing her down. "Ahem…Listen my fellow Hexolios … I know it's a difficult time right now. Our teachers are gone, Principal Bump is a puppet, we have no idea where most of our parents are, and we have absolutely no direction to go in our lives."
"Duh, it's the apocalypse." One kid answered. "The world's doom, so we have no choice but to riot and rumble."
"You do have a choice…you can choose to actually live , to do more than just live off and fight for bare scraps." He announced. "We can set out me search parties, set up small farms for food, get the healers and oracles to actually do their jobs for a change!" She wouldn't hit him for that one.
"What, you think we can actually live here?" Another kid asked.
"Yes, we can, at least until we can figure out something better." Matt kept going. "Hexide has been able to shield us from the star drones. We have plenty of classrooms for setting up beds, and other facilities we need to survive. Heck, there's a myriad of secret tunnel in here, we have plenty of space to take care of ourselves and more, but that can only happen if we stop fighting together and combine our strengths!" They all stared at Matt. "What?"
"We knew you as a loser for the majority of the year. How are you so good at management!?" Emira blight shouted.
"Taking over the school is one of the many things pretty much every kid at Glandus always dreams about." He shrugged. "And do you all really want to be more disorganized than them ?" At his question, everyone immediately scattered to fix up the place.
"Wow…that was almost hilariously easy." Casper chuckled.
"I know …" Matt smiled. "Thanks Celine."
"Pay me back in the closet, I'm high on life right now and I'm in the mood for surprises."
"Okay.." He blushed as she grabbed him by the collar. "Wait, right now!?"
"Yes right now, mister large and in charge." She grinned. Who knew all it would take for her to get a new lease on life would be the end of the world?
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The two stared at each other, a tense silence in the air. "You know you can't blame me for this one, right?" Eda asked.
"Creee!"
"We were not going to run away while that thing had one of our kits in its mitts and you know it." She responded back to the beast. "You're the one that freaked out."
"Creee."
"Well obviously it wasn't the same one that trapped you in the scroll, otherwise they would have recognized you. You were afraid over nothing."
"Crreeee?"
"Okay, maybe not for nothing because they completely took over the Island with just a hand wave, but you still freaked out."
"Crooo."They pouted.
"Gah … this is the worst." Trapped in her own head while King was taken hostage and Lucci and Luz were who knows where while a crazy kid tormented the entire Isles. In retrospect, maybe she should've thought twice about flying alone towards the floating child holding her youngest son. "You were around back then, any advice?"
"Krraa."It took Titans to kick their asses.
"So King is literally the only one capable of fighting him … and he's right at the kid's mercy, doing who knows what to him." Eda groaned.
"Rrr."We're pretty boned.
"What kind of world do we live in where we're actually in agreement on pretty much everything now?" Eda sighed. "Damn it, this is not how I thought I would die, though it is pretty fitting I guess. Stuck in a cage, like any damn bird.
"Hoot." Owlbert's voice called out from a distance.
"This is inside my own head, how did he even hear that?"
" Creee."
"Wait, someone's coming? Who?!" Eda shouted.
"Edalyn." A familiar voice echoed, before the night filled world became light, and Eda woke up inside of a cage … next to Lilith!
"Lily!" She hugged the woman. "You're alive!" She hugged the woman…with non-feathery arms. "And I'm me again! How!? How are you even here!?"
"It wasn't easy. I got turned into a puppet trying to save King from the Collector."
"And you lived?"
"Yes … as my mind remained permanently conscious of every action, forced to move against my wishes …" She shivered. "It was like serving Belos again but far less willingly and a lot more exhausting, even down to Kikimora being the top ass kisser."
"Yikes." She winced.
"Anyways, as a Puppet, I observed nearly everything. King managed to manipulate the child to a certain point. He's convinced him to play this game called 'Owl House' instead of doing something more dangerous like raining stars on top of the Isles."
"I taught that kid well." Eda smirked. "Alright, let's blow this popsicle stand and get him out of there."
"Not that easy….you see…the reason why I'm even here in the first place … since we're playing 'Owl House', the Collector wants to FULLY play Owl House … and that means bringing in the Owl … which means you in this case." Lilith said. "So King convinced the Collector to un puppet me so that I could brew up a 'cure' for you to be conscious again. He told him that it would take months, maybe years to do, and from the perspective of the Collector, that equates to one minute."
"Well … we have time then." She cracked her back, moving to the edge of the cage, with multiple puppets and a line. "What about these guys?"
"Security. Step over the line and they move." Eda looked at the line, gently placing a foot out as alarms blared, before pulling it back. She tried it again, and a quicker one, before grinning. "You're going to try making music out of the alarm system, aren't you?" Lily sighed.
"I got one arm now and been stuck in a cage for months, scuse me for wanting to have a little fun."
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The Collector pouted. "Do we have to have veggies?" He asked.
"Now now, without these you won't go big and strong." Kikimama said. "If you don't do that, then you'll never get to play those really fun and large games you're always saying you and Pink could play."
"True, Pink was limited a little because she was smaller than the other Diamonds." But veggies were just so weird. Why couldn't they snack on something more fun, like gravity, or star dust?
"Hey, it's not that bad, watch." King scrambled his plate, moving the spinach around, and made a face out of it with tomato eyes, a broccoli nose, and carrot mouth. "Now it's art and food!"
"Oooh, smiley face!" Collector laughed as he began to eat. "You two are awesome."
"As are you, my little Collector." Kikimama patted his head. It's been amazing ever since he got out of the Mirror. He had a best friend, a mom, and so many fun toys. All he needed now was to fit the rest of the Owl House team and everything would be perfect!
"Hmm … hey King. Do you think we should go to the other Islands?" The Collector asked. "See who else we can add to the game?"
"That depends. There was this group of titan trappers that worshiped you as a god and tried to kill me to free you…"
"Booo, god-hood is so boring." He rolled his eyes. "We're not even meant to be gods, we're just more powerful than other people. It's just that everytime my kind used to visit a new fun place, the second people realize who we are, they just get all weird and boring." Nobody wanted to play games anymore, it was all about bowing down and child sacrifices. "Do you know what it's like when people suddenly worship you just cause you're a titan?"
"Dude, even my own Aunt was like that for a short while, it was annoying." King complained. "They should just act normally around me, as friends or enemies."
"Exactly! Even with enemies I can have fun tormenting them, disassembling a few atoms out of place and watching them blow up…ah, fun times." He grinned
"... Or just … you know, letting them live." King nodded slowly.
"Where's the fun in that?" The Collector asked.
"... You can … watch them try again?"
"Try again huh … like constant do overs … where everyone can keep having fun over and over again! Nice! Now I know for next time to only blow people up with fire instead of atomic power."
"... Yep." King responded with a shrug. "Why do I know so many pyromaniacs?"
"That just means you know all the right people." He reassured the little guy. "And when Lucci comes back, we'll have fun setting fireworks all over the Boiling Isles and across the Universe!"
"Lucci and Luz, you mean?"
"Yeah….the human…" The girl that TOOK the first friend he ever made away, whose life he was playing as a game. "I have a special little game for her …"
"Umm …" King was about to say something … until the window burst open, with multiple people flying through.
"We can't risk fighting him head on! Grab Kikimora and book it!" The dark skinned androgynous one shouted.
"I'm grabbing her!" A very old lady sent a vine right to Kikimama.
The Collector made a wrist watch, and placed a single finger on the hands, freezing everything around him, except King. He stared at the frozen world, before turning to his best friend. "Before I start time back up again, these guys were bad guys to Luz and Lucci, right?"
"Unbelievably so. You can make them into toys all you want….cept Raine, Darius, and Ebberwolf, they're cool."
"We'll see how it goes." With a grin, time resumed as he moved Kikimama out of the way. "I see you fools dare to invade the home of the Owl House!" The Collector dramatically raised his hand. "Surrender now, criminals, and we will let you join in on the side of justice!" He was still looking for a few rolls to play after all.
"I'll never surrender to an unruly brat like you!" A woman dressed in all white threw a knife at his head, which he quickly and easily stopped in mid air.
"Well then, I guess we're playing pin the tail on the witch." He spun the knife around. "Now lets see if I can get a bullseye …" He threw it right at the woman … with enough force to tear a hole in the lower section of her body. "I win! King, you want a turn?"
"I've only got my super scream … shouting match?" They suggested.
"Ooooh, sounds fun. Now who looks like they can handle high volume sound…" They turned to the androgynous one, pulling out a viola. "You'll do." Pulling out a megaphone, he screamed right at her. "HAVING FUN YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEETTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!????????" He screamed with enough force to send them back. "Yay! Your turn."
"Um …" A potion was thrown next to him. "Oh yeah, this is for the DISSECTION!!!!!!!!!"A large soundwave blasted into the guy with a tall hat, sending them into a wall. "I win!" Now they were having fun!
"Is this all some sick game to you!" A really buff dude shouted as they threw a rock.
"Yes, and none of you are even close to winning it." The Collector complained as he turned the rock into a swarm of crows. "Like seriously, if you're going to throw something like a rock at me, then make it a special rock…like a diamond covered in lighting and shouting obscenities." He created one to show off.
"I'm going to *bleeeep* you and you *bleeeeep* till you *bllleeeeeeeeeeeeeeppppppp* and then you''ll *blleeeeeep…"
"Now, now, Collector, what have I said about speaking improperly?" Kikimama looked at him.
"...Only do so when you're screaming into a pillow." He pouted.
"That's my boy." She smiled.
"Wait … are you WILLINGLY working for him!?" Some dude in a cast shouted.
"This is the best role I've had in years. I get genuine praise for it." She smiled.
"That's because you're the best at it, you're super smart after all." The Collector smiled at her.
"The world is LITERALLY drowning in rainbows and sparkles, and you're just fine with that!?" The purple gooey one exclaimed.
"What my boy wants he'll have, because he's the best child deity-like creature to ever exist, and he deserved the best."
"Why do children make every woman bigger bitches than they already are?" … He turned to the white woman who had just finished growing her legs back.
"Are you insulting my Kikimama?" He glared, the room going dark as he shined a spotlight on her.
"Uuhh…."
"Wrong answer." He upped the gravity by a hundred, and dropped the temperature by forty cerberus. "Did you really come here…thinking you could break into my clubhouse, to hurt my family?
"Ggrrr." They thought they had a shot.
"You wanted to take my fun away….to leave me all alone with nothing and nobody all over again….I can…never…everforgive that. " He increased the gravity again, crumpling up the woman until she was a big fleshy, frozen orb. "So … does anyone else have something to say?"
"Yes … may I just comment on … how much of a wonderful place the Boiling isles has come since you've arrived." The old green haired woman spoke up when everyone wouldn't respond.
"What!?" Everyone shouted.
"Yes, I must say I like what you've done, you have such an active imagination." She went on. "I've never been more thrilled in my entire life, and…it would be my…greatest joy…to participate in a bigger role in this neat little game you have concocted."
"Terra you bitch!" The buff guy said.
"In fact, let me start by stating that two illusion-covered friends of mine are sneaking behind Kikimora." She said, summoning vines to grab the empty air….which once cleared, showed off some old dude and a dog man thing.
" GRRRRRRRRRRR!"
"Terra, this wasn't part of the pl-" The lady used more vines to cover everyone's mouths.
"Please, allow me to…help you…have more fun…and…join the side of justice, as you said."
"Oooh, did you hear that King? We got a new playmate!" The Collector shouted in joy. "The rest of you kind of suck, so you're all becoming puppets." He blasted each and every one of them, turning them into nice little dolls. "Now … tea party!"
"I'll make the tea, Collector." Kikimama offered. He had some many great friends now…and soon all his friends would have fun.
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So … King had to live with Terra Snapdragon now … how wonderful. What even made them think they had a chance at even facing the Collector? Whoever among them had that bright idea was a complete idiot. Didn't help that Kikimora, given her complex, was never, EVER going to betray the Collector. It was hard to tell if she actually genuinely cared about the boy or if her desperation for meaning in her life just made her cling to him as her last safety net.
King walked down the halls, gazing at the paintings. The Collector playing with other children, who grew old and began 'collecting' things, to Titans … and Gems … gah, no wonder the dude wanted to forget everything. King moved forward to a familiar hallway with a cage. "Please don't be eaten." He silently begged as he walked forward. It took a lot of convincing to turn Lilith back to normal.
King made his way past one of the puppets, walking to the broken cage … oh boy. This was already a bad sign. Come on, Lilith be alive, be alive, be.. "Lilith, you're alive!" He shouted once he got a glimpse of the blue haired woman, brewing an orange liquid around a cauldron. "But if you're here, then where's…
"Boo!"
"WHEEE!" King shrieked as he fell forward.
"Sister, must you do that?"
"Come on, I'm just staying true to who I am." King turned around…and saw Eda…not the owl beast … But Eda Clawthorne…his mom.
"EDA!" He hugged the woman. "You're back! You're back!" He nuzzled into her face. "Oh I needed this! I needed this so bad!"
"Yeah, I'm back kiddo." She ruffled his back. "I know it's been hard on you. I can't imagine what it's like to deal with that…thing everyday.
"Yeah…but….it's actually not as bad as you think." King said. "The collector's crazy and goes overboard way too often…but…he's just a kid…..okay, he's over a thousand years old, but he's essentially just a kid."
"He turned everyone into puppets." Lilith said dryly.
"Exactly, I've seen his power up close. He could do anything he wants, turn gravity into gravy, to blood into juice, make it so we're always hearing a ring in our heads…but his main goal is to just play and have fun." King explained. "He's a lot more reasonable than any enemy we've ever faced. And considering what happened with Belos and the Basilisks, that's reallysaying something."
"That doesn't mean what he's doing isn't making everyone else completely miserable." Eda responded. "We still got to find some way to take him down before he hurts anyone else….or worse, Lucci and Luz do something crazy that gets themselves killed."
"Actually we don't have to worry about that last part." King said. "Before the Collector got their hands on them, they along with the rest of their closest friends…with Boscha and the Golden Guard….went through the portal door. It was good for one more jump….and they made it."
The woman froze, looking off into the air. "So … they're safe …" She smiled. "They're really safe …" Eda cried, hugging her harder. "My babies…they're safe. Lucci probably hates every minute of it….but he's safe."
"Do you really think they won't be running into trouble in the human world?" Lilith asked.
"No…actually they're probably going to get into more trouble than they ever did here on the Boiling Isles." His mom laughed. "But I'll take that trouble compared to everything that's been happening here the last month or two … Belos alone gave them an excuse for a break."
"They deserve it. I just wish we could know for sure." King sighed, know there was no way of actually knowing-
pop
Something pink and shiny appeared at the top of Eda's head. "Is…is that one of Lucifer's bubbles?" Lilith spoke up, speaking what they were all thinking
"Oh … I guess his teleporting bubbles work even in separate dimensions." She noted. "... Please powers, never let the progress to letting Lucci or Luz back here."
"There's a note inside." King pointed out.
"Huh." Eda grabbed it, and popped it. "Dear Mom. I hope this reaches you. I know for a fact you'll find some way to survive the end of the world because you're just too stubborn to die."
"He isn't wrong there." Lilith snickered.
"At first this started off as an exercise that my therapist told me to take as a way of controlling my anger better-"
"Wait….Lucifer….got a therapist…. willingly!?"Lilith exclaimed.
"Someone must have conned him. They're just money grabbers who get paid to talk. Talking about problems with family is the way to go." Eda stated with an eye roll. "-but when I was running out of room in my journal over the amount of people I've had the urge to kill, I figured now would be the best way to start talking to you directly. Anyways, if you haven't found out by now, Luz and I are in the human world, along with Amity, Willow, Gus, my lovely angel Boscha, and that Golden Boy Hunter. It sucks."
"Called it." Eda laughed.
"Like, oh titan it sucks. I finally came face to face with my sperm donor. The first thing he did when we met was yell and grab me, so I tried to take off his head."
"As you should." King nodded.
"Then he ruined another girl's life by revealing my secret, so he became even more dead to me while also making two annoying women part of my life." He kept going. "Technically four, but Amethyst is pretty okay and Lapis protects Vee, so we're cool. It's the other two, Garnet and ESPECIALLY PEARL that I can't stand. They were a part of a team of Crystal Devil's like Bismuth that fought with my Womb donor, so everytime they see me, they just see 'Rose's kid."
"That's going to annoy him to no end." Lilith noted.
"Luckily, Garnet had very much improved, now merely trying to tell me not to get over my head … which I admit I might have a problem with, but I'll explain that in the Moldy bitch section." That didn't sound promising. "Anyways, I did meet one great person out of it, Spinel. She's fun and she fills that Hooty-shapped hole in my heart."
"That's going to fill my nightmares." Like King needed that right now.
"Other than that, life on earth has been uneventful, everyone's been getting jobs to support Luz's mom, I've been selling human junk back to humans…."
"He really is my son…." Eda cried.
"And I've managed to meet two other humans that I consider to be pretty decent. This girl at the Pizza shop that me and Boscha saved from a slimy creep as Cherry. We ran him off the road and almost killed him, but then we got arrested because 'Murder is Illegal'." … Everyone shivered at that one. Sure, killing willy nilly was wrong, but some jerks deserved it. "The other decent human being my therapist, Ms. Waybright. She's like an older Boscha, but yells a whole lot less and doesn't shoot fire. She also apparently traveled to another world once, one full of frogs from some magic music box, so there's likely going to be a way to come back home without using titans blood that we'll find eventually."
"Please don't …" Eda sighed. "Not until we can stop the Collector …" Well he wanted Luz dead … so yeah, that was a problem.
"The biggest downside is that enemies from Womb donor's planet now want to kill me, and they're about as strong as Bismuth, if not just as ruthless. We just got done dealing with a toxic fusion named Moldavite that controlled metal. It was so bad the only way for us to beat them was for me to fuse….with THE GOLDEN GUARD…..I've never felt so unclean in my life."
"The poor kid." Lilith sympathized. "Bound to your worst enemy."
"So now we're trying to figure out what a bunch of smaller red gems called rubies know about Earth before it possibly dies. They're basically just coven scouts but more dumb. It'll be a while before we get them to talk any sense, but until then, me and everyone else is getting ready for 'Hallows eve', a holiday where humans traumatize each other to extort candy."
"Oh I've seen that one." Eda grinned. "You would have loved it, King."
"Maybe after this is all over, we can take a crack at it." He smiled.
"Really wish you were here mom. Me and Luz…we both miss you and King. Hope you're both safe, and hope Aunt Lily's doing well too. We got years of nephew-aunt bonding time to catch up on."
"Yes we do …" The woman sighed. "Come on … lets make this world livable for them all."