Sometimes you can't be who you want to be and sometimes you can't do what you want to do.

That is the daily life of our anti-heroine. She is over powered with innate and learned magics and abilities but she does not have them to use them. she has them because she was born with them and she learns quickly. 

for her it is about acquisition not utilization. She wants to have power to understand power but she doesn't want to serve and protect. 

but it is out of her hands because she is Rachel, the Milana of Trannisa realm. her purpose is to maintain a balance dictated by the realm.

she is there when she has to be and when she is not needed she is off learning new things. 

so what happens when she is suddenly needed all the time? will her habit of avoidance become a mask of doubt and insecurity. 

so will she be a flawed being and pass the torch or will she endure in self doubt and constant insecurity. 

or is there a third option that has been there all along and completely out of her control?

All of Rachel's soulmates were with her and all of her Antrunie had gathered. Everyone was ready to do what needed to be done. She appeared amongst them and said nothing for a very long time. Her thoughts were erratic and she could not focus.


It had been her intention to immediately go out and begin speaking to the foundation dimensions of their cosmi. Before she understood Trannisa's motivations she felt the task would be straightforward and simple now she knew better. She knew that it was going to be extremely difficult to convince foundation dimensions to agree to a connection with Trannisa. 


At first she thought it was a ridiculously easy task and wondered why such dramatic actions needed to be taken to ensure it was completed. Now she felt like a blind idiot and wondered about the offspring she shares with Trannisa. Rachel was finally understanding how her temperament and attitude toward her life and  her duty had been such a horrific mess.


Chapter 248 - the foundational dimensions