"I want to destroy her. Only without her can I be the real Kiana, can I see you, talk to you... I hate my origins more than anyone else."
After a long silence, Kiana softly explained her feelings and motivations.
She lay on Sigurd's chest, listening to the heartbeat that felt as real as the world outside, inhaling the scent that was no different from reality, no longer hiding any of her thoughts.
At this moment, all she wanted was to lay bare everything in her heart for Sigurd to see clearly, to understand her dependence, her longing, to understand all of her emotions.
She wanted Sigurd to know, to look at her, to always, always look only at her.
"It's okay, never hate yourself... Remember, that night, it was you who held me, gave me the most precious warmth, and that's why I'm still alive. I don't know the Herrscher of the Void, nor have I ever met the so-called real Kiana. The only one I know is you. To me, you are Kiana."
Sigurd spoke as he kissed her forehead gently.
He could feel Kiana's emotions and saw everything hidden beneath her cheerful facade—the careful affection, the secret joy when clinging to him, the sorrow and confusion when alone, the deep guilt and hatred, and the deep, genuine attachment, all conflicting within her.
Sigurd couldn't quite describe his feelings at that moment, only that he wanted to hold her like this, not wanting her to be unhappy ever again.
"Thank you, Sig, thank you..."
Tears streamed down Kiana's face as she smiled, feeling that her life was complete in this moment.
"From now on, don't keep your feelings hidden like this. If something's wrong, tell me."
"Okay."
"Don't worry too much about your origins. Those who truly care about you won't blame you for mistakes you didn't make. As for those who would blame you... just stay away from them, they don't matter."
"Mm."
"I... was that a confession?"
"Would you accept it?"
"... I thought you liked girls, like Vera, like Mei."
"That's called being friendly you dummy!"
Kiana lightly bumped Sigurd's chest, her face flushing red with embarrassment.
Sigurd blinked a few times in confusion. "Uh... I never really thought about romance, let alone with you."
"Oh... that's okay. I just wanted to tell you. It's enough that you know; whether you accept it or not is fine."
"You sound a bit like a simp."
"Can you even speak properly? What else can I do? It's already like this; I can't change it."
Kiana bumped Sigurd's chest again with her head, sighing softly in complaint.
She pouted, regaining a bit of her usual lively spirit.
As she said, when affection reaches an extreme, it no longer matters whether it's reciprocated.
As long as she could stay by Sigurd's side, to Kiana, that was enough.
"I'll think about it slowly... As for the Herrscher of the Void, Sirin, keep up your momentum, keep her suppressed. If you can gain control of the Herrscher's powers, even better. If your strength is strong enough, then I can be at ease."
"Okay, whatever you say, Sig. I'll take good care of her, so I can help you out."
Kiana's eyes darkened for a moment.
Her emotional knot, difficult as it might be to unravel, was actually easily loosened—Sigurd just needed to express his stance, and that was enough.
However, no matter how her feelings might change, Kiana would never forget—Sirin, the Herrscher of the Void, was responsible for the death of Sigurd's family, for his childhood of hardship, and for the frail body he had when they first met.
That was all Sirin's doing.
For that reason alone, Kiana could never forgive Sirin.
Sigurd gently tapped Kiana on the head.
"Don't think too much. My situation... is a bit special. For me, the day I met you was the day I came into this world. Anything before that wasn't my experience."
It's hard to explain the situation of being a transmigrant, especially when it involves the script of the Honkai world.
Maybe later, when the time is right, he could slowly explain it to her.
"Oh..."
Kiana murmured skeptically.
Of course, she trusted Sigurd, but at this moment, she couldn't help but wonder if he was just saying that to comfort her.
In any case, it's all Sirin's fault—thinking that made it easier.
The sunlight outside the window grew warmer, shining on the tightly embracing pair, as if gilding them in gold, beautiful like a carefully crafted painting.
...
Eventually, Kiana's consciousness fell asleep, but she still clung to Sigurd, curled up in his embrace, unwilling to let go.
The familiar office transformed into a pitch-black starry sky.
Ahead, golden chains bound Sirin's limbs and body, suspending her in the void.
"We can have a proper talk now, but keep your voice down. She hasn't slept this peacefully in a long time, and we mustn't wake her," Sigurd said softly, gently stroking Kiana's back.
He then lifted his gaze, coldly observing Sirin, whose expression was a mix of humiliation and anger.
"Hah! She's just a fake fool, and you treat her like a treasure?" Sirin spat.
Whoosh!
White beams of light pierced through Sirin's body, creating several bloody holes, inflicting intense pain.
However, her screams were forcibly silenced by a strip of tape materialized by Sigurd.
As he had mentioned earlier, Kiana hadn't had a good night's sleep in who knows how long, and nothing could be allowed to disturb her now.
"Sirin, I know your story from the Babylon Lab. Frankly speaking, you've committed many sins and deserve to die, but not all of the blame lies with you. There are things about you that are worth sympathizing with. I don't hold much against you... But Kiana is unique and precious. Anyone who dares to insult her will pay the price—this I swear!"
Sirin's wounds slowly began to heal as she gritted her teeth, glaring defiantly at Sigurd.
"You once encountered the God of Honkai. Tell me, what kind of existence is that?" Sigurd asked as he removed the tape from Sirin's mouth.
"In your dreams! I won't tell you anything."
"No matter. I didn't expect you to be able to describe it clearly anyway. I just want to take a look at your memories."
"You..."
"Behave."
Sigurd's tone was cold as he raised his hand towards Sirin.
His gemstone-like blue eyes gradually turned a brilliant gold.
Moments later, he lowered his hand, frowning.
There was little to be gained; the information Sirin had was vague.
She knew it was an immense, indescribable being, but its specific characteristics were beyond her understanding.
Recovering from the discomfort of having her memories invaded, Sirin snarled through gritted teeth, "I'll kill you! Not just you, all humans deserve to die!"
"What about Cecilia? She genuinely loved and cared for you as a daughter. Even in her final moments, she wanted to give you a mother's warmth."
"...It's all a façade!" Sirin sneered dismissively, but the fleeting moment of hesitation and distraction at the mention of that name spoke volumes.
Sigurd sighed. "So be it. In the end, it's between you and Kiana. You harbor resentment, and Kiana can't let go of the guilt. Whether you two come to some form of reconciliation or continue to be at odds, I don't want to interfere... But if Kiana gets hurt, you should know that the one who severed your connection with the God of Honkai, Fu Hua, is now even stronger, and she's my ally."
"You're threatening me?"
"Just stating facts. I don't care what happens to you, but Kiana must be fine. Consider this a warning—watch yourself."
With a wave of his hand, Sigurd sent the golden chains dragging Sirin into the depths of the dark consciousness, ensuring she could no longer interfere with Kiana's dream for the time being.
Afterward, Sigurd gently ruffled Kiana's hair, smiling as he exited her consciousness.
In the deep recesses of that dark mindscape, amidst the sound of chains clinking, Sirin clutched her chest.
"Impossible... Impossible!"
The main personality and the secondary personality were, after all, the same body and soul.
Though distinct, they were deeply interconnected.
Only Sirin could truly understand the impact of Kiana's emotions on her.
"Ah!!!" Sirin let out a hysterical scream.
Hatred and the overflowing happiness from Kiana intertwined within her chest.
Sirin didn't want to be influenced, but after screaming her frustrations, she panted heavily, her hollow eyes staring into the darkness before finally laughing in despair.
"Hah... Hahaha!"
What a ridiculous world!
What if, what if Sigurd had appeared at the Babylon Lab back then? What if the person who gave him warmth wasn't that fake fool, but herself? What would the situation be now?
Cecilia... Cecilia... Ich liebe dich...
That name, that cursed phrase, brought back all those memories at once.
Sirin clutched her head in agony.
Why, why did you all have to appear after everything was already too late?
What must I do to find release?
"Hahaha!!!" Sirin laughed bitterly, tears streaming down her cheeks.
<+>
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Latest Chapter in Ko-Fi: Chapter 274: Infighting? A Hundredfold Payback![2]
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