Emiya Residence.
I teleported to the backyard to avoid something shocking and unpleasant like stepping on the wreckage of a ruined house, but luckily everything looked normal. No explosions, no mana surges, nothing that could hint at any semblance of a battle. That was welcome, yes, but it still didn't make sense to me why Morgan had demanded my presence.
Cautiously entering the house, I didn't find anything suspicious either, at least not until I was in the living room. And what caught my eye made me question what I saw, for the scene before me was... surreal.
The servants who had gone out for a walk had returned and were gathered in the parlor, where there were two other people. Exactly 'human', the most ordinary one, without any supernatural abilities and so on. They were sitting at the table with Morgan, who looked very pleased, and were waiting for something.
- "Romani-san." noticing me, one of them stood up and walked over to me and greeted me.
- "Yukimura-san? Good afternoon. May I ask what's going on here? If my memory serves me correctly, I haven't broken the law."
They were police officers. The usual law enforcement officers you see in every country and city. They wore the standard uniform of a white shirt, black shoes and pants. And the standard set of distinguishing marks, like service weapons, epaulettes, radios and caps.
I'd already crossed paths with the man who said hello to me. He had helped me navigate the city when I first moved here. A simple and honest man who loved his job.
- "Of course," he nodded, "You see, your... relatives, as your wife, Morgan-san, explained to me, were making a lot of noise and disturbing the public order in the mall. My partner and I were sent to deal with it."
My eyebrow twitched, and my eyes went to the Servants pretending nothing had happened. Not all of them, of course, but for the most part that's how it was.
Mo-chan didn't look the least bit guilty. Le Fei, Lancelot, and Irina lowered their heads as if they were afraid to look me in the eye. Medusa, Enkidu, and Runeas were definitely having fun, given their poorly concealed smiles and chuckles. Archer and Elaine were shaking their heads. Heracles was still Heracles, and so was Fou. Gil didn't care at all what he'd done or how, and Artoria was drinking tea with a calm expression. Arthur, on the other hand, was imitating Saber and doing the same thing.
Morgan, who was sitting at the table with Tia, looked very pleased for obvious reasons related to Artoria. Gabriel and Griselda weren't here, which wasn't entirely unusual. I guess they went to check on Azazel or something. Rea-chan wasn't here either, though. But back to the topic at hand...
I clucked my tongue.
It's fine to go for a walk, but to go that far? I mean, they even complained to the authorities. But no, what else could I expect from THAT group? The world itself would be destroyed by an accidentally squashed cockroach, rather than the Servants behaving like 'normal' people.
- "Ho? And?"
- "We asked for documents, but they couldn't provide them. So, I started asking questions about where their home was, and who they knew who was in this town.
- And that's how you got to me, huh?" I asked, to which he nodded, "You're very kind, Yukimura-san. Normally, you'd be taken to the police station, wouldn't you?"
- "Right, but people have different circumstances, so I decided to give them a chance," he smiled, "Anyway, the leader of the group, that blond guy with the red eyes, answered questions rather rudely and strangely. Like how his home is the world itself, and stuff like that. Fortunately, Artoria-san took the floor. She calmly explained what was going on, and here we are."
Gil gave a proud look as if it wasn't his fault that he wasn't understood. Artoria, on the other hand, continued doing what she was doing.
- "Let's say," I rubbed my temples and slipped my hand into my pocket, pulling out the passports I'd just created with my charges' data to create at least some semblance of normality. Yukimura was helping me, so I don't want to affect his memory or perception, "Here. Check it out, please. My extremely carefree relatives have a habit of losing their documents wherever they go, so I keep them most of the time. Please forgive them."
- "It's okay," he replied calmly and started looking through the passports, and when he was done, he handed them back to me, "Thank you, Romani-san. I'll try to keep it quiet this time, but the next one will be a fine or community service. Please bring this up to your relatives."
- "Oh-oh... I will, don't worry, Yukimura-san," I said with a sinister smile, to which he nodded briefly, "And can I ask you a question?"
- "Sure. What are you interested in?"
- "Who's been doing particularly well? So that I know who to give a double dose of 'report' to."
- "Let me see..." Yukimura scratched his chin, completely oblivious to my message, "The schoolgirl was flirting with married men. The man with the purple hair was being too pushy with random women. The establishment had to close due to lack of food, causing its reputation to suffer. The sheer amount of jewelry created a disturbance due to people trying to pick it up. Walking around the store in revealing outfits. That seemed to be it."
After the second sentence, I froze like a dumbfounded man trying to realize the magnitude of what had happened. My eyes didn't blink, my mouth didn't close, and my eyebrows twitched uncontrollably as if they'd been electrocuted.
At the same time, Runeas grinned, Lancelot lowered his head even lower, Artoria didn't react, Gil's proud look became even more intense, and Medusa let out a typical, seductive 'fu-fu'.
What the hell did they do?! Can't they be more normal, at least amongst normal people, hmm?!
- "Since everything has been resolved, we'll be going now, Romani-san. Have a good day." Yukimura said goodbye, to which I didn't react. And when he left, Morgan's voice was immediately heard, imbued with mockery.
- "How undignified, dear sister. Because of you, the ordinary citizens won't get the food they were counting on. Perhaps they had planned to go there a month in advance, or perhaps they were saving up money to satisfy themselves for once in their lives, thus brightening their gray existence. That's disgusting." She practically sang, to which Artoria twitched and stared irritably at Morgan.
- "You're not the one to talk about it. Or should I tell Master how much you really eat, hiding under the illusion of grace and femininity? I'm the reason the place is closed for a day, not a week like you, dear sister." Artoria replied, and Morgan repeated her previous actions.
- "I knew it was a bad idea." grated Archer's whiskey, as if trying to make extra holes in his head.
- "But it was fun, wasn't it, Rider?" Enkidu chuckled, to which Medusa nodded.
- "You shouldn't feel bad, Lance-kun, someone will respond to your advances. Chin up, Knight of the Lake." Runeas patted Lancelot on the shoulder. He gave the demoness a hopeful look in return and nodded uncertainly.
- "Brother, why didn't we try to persuade them to behave more modestly?" Le Fei whispered to her brother.
- "It's pointless, Le Fei. They would have done what they wanted to do themselves anyway. Besides, Her Majesty was also involved, which meant we just had to go with the flow."
- "Um... Gilgamesh-san... were you really worth throwing gold and gems around like that?" Irina asked modestly and insecurely.
- "What kind of question is that, you mutt?! It's the king's duty to show off his wealth and status so that the peasants will strive to achieve the same!"
- "But..."
- "Arrrrr!" growled Heracles, trying to say something to Irina.
- "I'm sorry, but I don't understand you." With an awkward smile, she said.
- "He said you should just get over it," Medusa translated Heracles' words and smiled mischievously, "And you picked up a few pieces too, didn't you?"
- "Well... I wanted to give my parents a present, and the Church doesn't pay much..."
And while they were discussing their 'adventures', at some point I got stuck.
- "Shut up!" I shouted, and there was absolute silence in the house, comparable to the cemetery, "I can endure a lot, and I do not care where you are and what you do, but ... Damn cops came to my house! Do you have any idea what this is all about?!"
- "Don't get so excited, Romani. We didn't kill anyone, we just relaxed a bit, that's all." Runeas dismissed it, and the others nodded in agreement.
- "Ah-ah-ah... So that's it, huh?" I started in a whisper, and the world's cutest smile appeared on my face, "Well, then, traditionally, I can relax a little too, can't I?"
- "Somehow, I don't like your smile." Runeas said, and Archer slapped his face, realizing what I was doing. The rest of the Servants, who remembered at least a little bit how their 'vacation' in Okinawa had ended, were alarmed.
Everything will be all right now, don't worry. It'll be all right. Uh-huh-uh.
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