Earth Land, Ishgar, Kingdom of Fiore, Magnolia.
July 13, x790.
"*Sigh* I'm almost done." Alfonzo said as he stretched his arms over his head. "Damn my work ethic. I could have put this shit off until after our trip to Balsam Village. But no~~~~, I had to get all the designs done before that. And now, I've been pulling all-nighters ever since I met with Edea and Cid."
A few days have passed since the Final Fantasy guild master, her husband, and the guild's ace came to Magnolia to make a request from Alfonzo. Then, after Alfonzo took the job from them, Irene dropped the fact that Minerva, the acting guild master of Sabertooth, had formed an alliance with Ur at the Grand Magic Games' Celebration Banquet. So, they were requesting a set of training chambers for their guild hall.
Neither job would be too daunting with Alfonzo's current capabilities. However, the timelines they had in mind for the jobs were the issue.
So, to get as much time out of the little four day, three night, vacation to Balsam Village he had planned with Elicia, Marin, Sun, and Brandish, Alfonzo decided to get the designs for the weapons out of the way before he left. Unfortunately, that meant that he spent most of his time after the meeting in his workshop drawing schematics for weapons.
"Well, at least I have [Archive Magic] to make everything easier, though." Alfonzo muttered. "It made remembering everything I could about their ultimate weapons from the games easier, too. Now, Squall can have the Lion Heart, Aerith can have the Princess' Guard, and Vivi can have the Mace of Zeus. It's just a matter of making them. That can wait until we get back, though."
{BGM: "Baby Got Back" – Sir Mix-a-Lot}
Before Alfonzo could start thinking about the production process for all the weapons and armor he would have to make, his lPhone began to play his ringtone. So, Alfonzo reached out for the device, which was laying on his workbench, and looked at the Caller ID.
"Ugh! What the fuck does Ur want now?" Alfonzo asked in a grumpy tone. "I swear, if she tells me she's got more work for me, I'm gonna give her a piece of my mind."
With that said, Alfonzo clicked the accept button and put the lPhone to his ear.
"Hey, Ur, what's up?" Alfonzo asked casually.
'Yeah, I can talk tough.' Alfonzo thought to himself as his grumpy tone all but disappeared when he answered the call. 'I really don't wanna deal with another townwide temperature drop if I make her mad. The kids might get sick.'
{"I just got a call from Gildarts."} Ur said in a solemn tone. {"Apparently, he ran across two members of Akatsuki on his way back from his quest."}
"Which ones?" Alfonzo asked, his tone turning solemn, as well. "Some of them are seriously a problem if you don't know what to expect."
{"He said their names were Hidan and Kakuzu."} Ur replied.
"Then it's good that he's still alive." Alfonzo replied in a deadly serious tone. "I've heard about that guy, Hidan, if he gets a hold of your blood, it's pretty much a death sentence."
When Ur heard that, she took an audible breath that Alfonzo heard through the phone call. Yet, it did not take long for her to calm down.
{"He said he felt something was off with the guy when he fought him."} Ur replied. {"Luckily, he was able to defeat him... both of them with little difficulty. He did use Calamity, though."}
"Damn... I kinda wish I could have seen that.' Alfonzo said, sounding a bit more excited than he should. "But it's too dangerous to let him use his partial release near a populated area. He still doesn't have the best control. And he can't even use the technique we've been using for control, his [Crash Magic] just destroys the damn spikes."
{"Right."} Ur said, sounding a little exasperated at Alfonzo losing focus on the topic at hand. {"Anyway, he said he probably killed the one called Kakuzu."}
Ur then took a deep breath before she continued.
{"As for the one called Hidan, he's got his head tied to his belt."} Ur continued, sounding a bit disgusted. {"He had to gag it, though. According to Gildarts, it wouldn't shut up."}
'Sounds about right.' Alfonzo said to himself. 'Hidan is truly immortal. Though, I'm curious to know how he got his immortality in this world. Something tells me Ankhseram wouldn't be too happy about that. I wonder if he has a curse like Mavis did. Damn... If I had another Philosopher's Stone, I would ask Ed, Al, or Izumi to see if they could trade the souls inside for Hidan's immortality. Then, we'd be able to get rid of that psycho cultist forever.'
"Well, I guess there isn't much more he could do than that.' Alfonzo said after thinking for a moment. "I mean, even I don't know how he got his immortality. So, why did he get attacked? Were they after the astronomically high bounty that I'm sure someone who's destroyed so many people's shit must have?"
{"That was just a side benefit for them, apparently."} Ur replied while it sounded like she was shaking her head. {"It was because he was poking his nose into something that wasn't his business. But he did the right thing this time."}
Ur then went on to explain Gildarts' encounter with Kakuzu, Hidan, and Fū. She then explained that he was bringing Fūu back to Magnolia because he was afraid that Akatsuki would just send another team to abduct her after they realized Kakuzu and Hidan had failed.
"Wait... Gildarts did not see Kakuzu's body?" Alfonzo asked after Ur finished her retelling of Gildarts' story.
{"No, after hitting him the way he did, he was sure that Kakuzu couldn't have survived."} Ur replied. {"Why, do you think he could have survived?"}
"*Sigh* I told him to make sure that he saw the body when dealing with any of the members of Akatsuki." Alfonzo said. "Hell, I told the whole guild."
{"But he took a fully powered [Empyrean]."} Ur said in a skeptical tone.
"*Sigh* Ur, I don't expect Gildarts to remember the details about the members of Akatsuki." Alfonzo said in an exasperated tone. "But I know you remember what I told you about Kakuzu, right?"}
{"Of course."} Ur replied confidently. {"He has five hearts. Each of them let him use a different [Ninjutsu] element. Also, you have to destroy all... five... hearts... to kill him... Ah, shit."}
"Exactly, you have to see his dead body to know if he's dead or not." Alfonzo said. "And although it's easy to see if his four extra hearts die based on if the masks on his back break or not, the one in his body, HIS... At least I think it's his. Anyway, the one inside his body needs to be checked up close."
{"So, you think he got away, huh?"} Ur asked, her tone turning solemn once again.
"I hope not." Alfonzo replied. "But unless Gildarts knows where he landed, we have no way of knowing. But if he did survive, he's probably going to be reporting what happened to the rest of the Akatsuki real soon."
{"*Sigh* I'll let the guild know to be ready for retaliation."} Ur said in a tired tone.
"Do you want us to put off our vacation?" Alfonzo asked seriously. "The guild's safety is more important than a little celebration trip we can take any time."
{"No, you go on your trip."} Ur said. {"Trust your guild mates. As long as Gildarts and I are here, we'll be fine. Besides, even if we're not enough to handle them, Irene will be here. And I doubt there's anyone on this continent that could deal with her."}
"Well, I guess I can't argue with that." Alfonzo replied as he leaned back in his chair. "Anyway, I'd suggest throwing Hidan's head in a pit somewhere then filling the pit with cement or something."
{"Actually, I wanted to let Porlyusica study him."} Ur said.
"Yeah, that's a bad idea." Alfonzo said. "I don't know if it will happen, but I feel like immortality isn't something mortals are supposed to have. That's why the people Ankhseram don't fuck with get hit with it."
{"I see your point."} Ur said. {"Well then, Maybe I'll have Gildarts throw it as far as he can into the ocean. We should never see him again after that."}
With that, Alfonzo and Ur continued to trade ideas of what they should do with Hidan's head.
*Bang!*
That lasted until the door to Alfonzo's workshop was swung open. When Alfonzo looked back, he saw Cana standing in the doorway with a big smile on her face and a bottle of liquor in one hand while the other rested on her hip.
"Hey, Fonzie!" Cana shouted energetically. "Come have a drink with me. Since my dad is gone, I took this from his stash at Ur's house. It's some really good stuff. It's a forty year vintage, you know?"
{"What did she just say?"} Ur asked, her voice taking on a menacing tone. {"A forty year vintage? That wasn't Gildarts' bottle. How in the hell did it get into his stash?"}
"Um... Cana, I think you should hold off on opening that bott---" Alfonzo started to say after hearing Ur's angry tone.
*Pop!*
"Huh? What did you say?" Cana asked as she used one of her cards to open the bottle."
"You know what? Never mind." Alfonzo said while shaking his head. "You can deal with Ur's angry rampage this time."
Immediately, Cana's eyes widened. She had taken liquor from Ur before. And for the first time, she empathized with Elicia and Ultear. Because, she became the third of Alfonzo's wives to receive a frozen spanking. It was almost as bad as when Alfonzo spanked her in front of everyone after the S-Class promotion Exam she passed. In fact, the only reason Alfonzo's spanking was worse was because she was humiliated from being watched by her sisters.
"Damn you, Dad!" Cana groaned. "Oh well, since I'm gonna get punished anyway, might as well make it worth it."
*Gulp!* *Gulp!* *Gulp!*
Then, without hesitation, Cana put the bottle to her lips and started chugging down its contents.
"*Sigh* Such a waste of good liquor." Alfonzo grumbled.
{"Is she drinking it?"} Ur shrieked. {"Does she have any idea how much I paid for that bottle. Damn it! I'll make her pay for that. And I'm gonna kill Gildarts!"}
Earth Land, Ishgar, Desierto, Ardeshir.
*Sneeze!*
"Hey, are you okay, Gil?" Fū asked while walking down the streets of Ardeshir. "Did you somehow catch a cold? But it's so hot here. How do you catch a cold in this weather?"
"No, I'm fine." Gildarts replied. "There's probably someone thinking about me. In fact, I bet it's either my baby girl or my lovely lady."
"Oh, that's right, you said you have a daughter." Fū said. "What's her name? do you think she would be my friend?"
"Well, her name is Cana." Gildarts replied with a fond smile. "And if you like to drink, then you'd have no problem being friends with her. Well, that shouldn't stop you from making friends with her either way, though. You'd probably get along with her husband, too."
"Oh, she's married?" Fū asked in an interested tone.
Like that, the two continued to chat while Gildarts dragged the head of the monster, which was actually an Etherious, through the streets to the client's location. All the while, such a large beast's head drew quite a bit of attention from the inhabitants of the city.
Earth Land, Ishgar, Unknown Location.
"Hey, What's taking them so long?" Deidara asked in an irritated one. "I could have used this time to work on my art."
Currently, the remaining members of Akatsuki, Pain, Konan, Itachi, Kisame, Deidara, and the inhuman-looking rogue shinobi from the Village Hidden in the Sand, Sasori, were [Projecting] their images onto the fingers of the Gedō Mazō while waiting for Hidan and Kakuzu to return from their mission to capture the Seven-Tails Jinchuriki, Fū.
"You talk to much." Kisame said in a bored tone.
"What did you say?" Deidara asked in a menacing tone. "It sounded like you said you wanted an up close and personal look at my art."
"If you're really brave enough to try, then go ahead." Kisame shot back.
"Oh, you're talking real big for someone who was too afraid to attack the Nine-Tails brat just because there were some legal wizards around." Deidara said condescendingly.
'I wonder what he would think if he saw Alfonzo Marcus at this year's Grand Magic Games.' Itachi thought to himself. 'Then again, he's just too cocky. And that will be his undoing someday.'
"Enough!" Pain said, silencing the bickering between Kisame and Deidara. "We will all gather at the boarder of the Kingdom of Fiore in two months' time. Fairy Tail is sheltering the Nine-Tails, making them a hinderance to our plans. And for that, they are no longer necessary for this continent. We will show them Pain."
After Pain's declaration, the rest of the meeting through [Projection Magic] was spent discussing the finer details of the operation. Unfortunately, the six members of Akatsuki had no way of knowing that there was a certain, red-haired, former dragon listening into their conversation with a smile on her face.